A controlling relationship is a Manipulative Relationship.

Are you losing yourself in a relationship?Do you feel like you don't fit in with your family or your friends?If you want to regain your individuality and strength, you need to determine if the relationship is taking something away and if so, put an end to the destructive cycle.

Step 1: Take a look at the symptoms of abusive partners.

Take a look at the following bullets.Don't say "Well, they're not like that all the time," or "It's only happened once or twice--" if it happened at all.Simply say yes or no.It is time to get out and get with someone who respects you.Does your partner make fun of you in front of your friends or family?Do you want to put down your accomplishments or discourage your goals?Do you feel like you can't make decisions?Is it possible to use intimidation, guilt, or threats to gain compliance?Tell me what you can and can't wear.What should I do with my hair?Do you know if they are nothing without you?Grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you?Are you going to call several times a night to make sure you are where you said you would be?Do you think that using drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying bad things or abusing you is a good idea?Is it your fault for how they act or feel?Do you feel pressured to have sex for things you aren't ready for?Do you feel like there is no way out of the relationship?Do you want to spend time with your friends or family?Do you want to leave after a fight or teach yourself a lesson?

Step 2: Keep your ears open for rumors about your partner.

Is it possible to hear multiple versions of the same story?Do your friends tell you things about your partner that you have never heard of?They're shaping the "truth" for you with half-truths andselective memories.You need to get to the bottom of this red-flag for manipulation.Half-truths or omissions are usually used when you're being controlled or manipulated.There is enough weird to make you stop and think, but not enough to change your mind about the relationship.If this happens more than once, stop and remind yourself that this isn't the first time you've had this reaction.What your friends say and what your spouse says should be analyzed.Call them out if there are a lot of them.It is time to re- evaluate if their answers don't satisfy.

Step 3: If your friends are trying to remove you from the picture, keep them close.

She gains dominance over you by cutting you off from your friends and family.They make you think that it's your decision to leave them, because they are so terrible.If they're constantly talking behind your friends' backs, making jokes about your family, or making a big scene every time you leave to be with friends, then screw that relationship and move on.People who are controlling are fond of making tension and drama.They will stir up the pot by pushing people and acting aggressive.They'll put their hands up and blame you and your family for the broken lamp.When there is too much tension between your loved ones and your mate, it's easier for them to control you.

Step 4: Show jealousy or possessiveness.

That's sweet if your partner protects you.It's frightening if they're over-protective.If you go out for any reason, do they ask you if you're home on time?Do you get a lot of questions about why you were talking to another person?Are you told by your partner that you don't care about them if you spend time with a friend?A little jealousy is normal.It shouldn't affect your relationships.They don't trust you.They are not worth dating if they don't trust you.

Step 5: Walk out on double standards and lose.

You get attacked if you're five minutes off schedule, but it's okay for your partner to be two hours late.It's perfectly innocent when they flirt but you're accused of infidelity.If you save money, you're not being careless with money.This kind of bullcrap can't stand because you are at fault no matter what you do.In controlling-manipulative relationships, these are games that screw with your head.Don't play the game because you're not going to win.Get out!

Step 6: Ignore the fake attempts to be nice.

They should ask for your forgiveness for doing something that is unacceptable.They promise to change and realize they were wrong.They seem sincere and convincing.They're using you and turning your kindness against you.As soon as they believe they have you hooked again, watch for bad behavior to resume.As they apologize, watch as they rinse and repeat.If you let them know that you will not tolerate such things again, they may say they want your help to change.They may try to sweep you off your feet with gifts.You can either give them a second chance or not.Cut them out of your life if they betray your trust again.

Step 7: Even if it hurts, be honest with yourself.

This is not going to be fun.You have to wade deep into your feelings or you won't understand them.Is this relationship healthy or not?As you analyze how things have changed since this relationship began, try to be objective.Sex clouds your judgement.Sex should be removed from the equation.It shouldn't be the only reason you're with someone.It doesn't matter how hot they are.

Step 8: How your partner makes you feel is something you should think about.

Are you the most important person in your life?Don't ignore your feelings because they are worthless, biased, or reactionary.If you feel bad in this relationship, then you're being treated badly.Get out of there.If you are scared of how your partner will act, this is especially true.You should be responsible for your partner's feelings.You can make excuses for your partner's behavior.It's all your fault.Don't do anything that makes your partner angry.It feels like your partner is not happy with you.Do what your partner wants you to do.If you break up with your partner, stay with them.

Step 9: Take a look at the other relationships.

When your partner's name comes up, are your family relationships filled with tension, or are they?If you are being pushed away by your partner, red flags should go up.Does this person bring out the best and worst in you?You want to love yourself because you're awesome.If you don't feel great, it's probably because they're sucking you down to their level.If they antagonize them, argue with them or talk about them constantly, be aware of the way they behave with your family and friends.You've let the monster win if you decided it was easier to ignore your friends and family.This relationship is toxic and it's time to break it up.

Step 10: You are biased because you're in love.

You can't leave your head in the sand for too long if you fall head over heels.Even as friends and family tell you to wake up, your affection can make you close your eyes.You need to have some time to think about what you want to do.Do you find yourself apologizing or defending your significant other's behavior toward you when you step aside from the relationship for a few days?It's obvious why you're together and you shouldn't have to defend it.Are you hiding something?Privacy is important, but you shouldn't be hiding a monster under the bed.The problem is that you have to keep a secret because you are dating someone so bad.Do you always do what they want?Do you not date someone because you want another boss in your life?Forget about people who don't agree with you, you have a right to your opinion.Are you no longer in touch with your friends and family?You should never feel cut off from your old friends because of your new relationship.If they throw shade on your friends and family, you're more likely to be isolated.

Step 11: Dump them if you hate yourself for loving someone.

You shouldn't beat yourself up for being attracted to them because they're amazing on the surface.Manipulators have an odd mix of intelligence and charm.Drop them from your life is the best thing to do.These people are not your fault because they are shallow and not worthy of your time.The only reason they are manipulating you is that you are better than them.They are keeping you trapped in the relationship by using your love for them against you.You are not to blame for loving them.They are to blame for using your love as leverage.