A person who is not male or female should be respected.
If you have recently learned that a person in your life is a trans person, you might not know what to say to them, and you may be worried that you will say the wrong thing.The same terms and pronouns that the person uses to describe themselves can be used to start respecting their self-identity.Don't ask too many questions, respect their privacy, and apologize if you mess up.
Step 1: The pronoun should be the right one.
It's a good idea to call someone by the pronoun they prefer.Asking a person their pronouns is the best way to do it.Trans women use "she/her" pronouns.Trans men use the pronoun "he/him".Some people use different pronouns, such as "ze/zim," "they/them," and others.Sex and gender are related to a person's biology.Some people use more than one pronoun, but this doesn't mean that it's okay.Someone might use "she" and "they" but not "he."
Step 2: You can call them by their name.
A person should always use the name themselves.Most people prefer not to mention their previous name.Dropping that name in a conversation is not okay if you know someone by a different name.If you don't know what their former name was, you should not ask.A "deadname" is a name that is no longer relevant to a person's life.If you want to tell a story about someone in the past, use their current name and pronouns.
Step 3: It's appropriate to use gender-appropriate terminology.
Refer to someone who uses honorifics and other gendered language.If you are talking about a trans woman, call her a woman.Call her "ma'am" if you address her in a formal setting.Use neutral language when speaking to a crowd."Distinguished Guests" or "Ladies, Gentlemen and others" is what you should say instead of " Ladies and Gentlemen".Don't go out of your way to assert their gender.You should not use more gendered language.You don't have to tell your transfeminine coworker that he looks "handsome" every day or refer to him as a girl.This can sound condescending.Don't use gendered language if you are referring to a person.
Step 4: If you mess up, apologize.
Correct yourself and say that you're sorry if you say the wrong name or pronoun.If you can, apologize immediately.If you get flustered, you are more likely to make the same mistake again.Take a deep breath.You could say, "I'm sorry, he."I apologize.If you don't apologize in the moment, you can say you're sorry later in a private moment.I just wanted to apologize for using the wrong name.It won't happen again.
Step 5: Don't let them go to others.
Some people are in the closet.Not everyone knows they are trans.It's possible that people back at home don't know their gender identity or that current acquaintances assume they are.They shouldn't make references to their transition in public.Don't tell other people that you're trans.
Step 6: Before you ask personal questions, think twice.
If you ask about someone's gender journey, it may seem intrusive.You can ask if your friends bring up a detail.It's better to avoid questions about their body and past.Most people don't want to be asked if they have had gender-affirming surgery.
Step 7: Don't evaluate their gender presentation.
The most respectful thing you can do if you know a person is to trust them to be who they are.They shouldn't be given feedback about how they look or whether or not they pass as a person of their gender.Don't say how successful they are at "passing" as their gender.Don't say, "I would never have known you were a trans person."If you imply that someone is successful if they don't appear trans, you're implying that there's something wrong with being trans.It's a good idea to avoid giving advice.You shouldn't tell someone they would pass better if they took hormones or dressed differently.It seems like a compliment, but many trans people don't want you to call them "brave" for being themselves.Think about having a sibling with a disability.You wouldn't want to be called brave for being their sibling.It's just a part of who you are.
Step 8: First, treat them like a person.
Gender is important in someone's identity, but it isn't the most important part of your relationship with them.You would treat anyone else the same.They should not make unnecessary references to their transition.They will bring it up if they want to talk about it.Find common ground, such as hobbies, places you've lived, or shared interests, and talk about them with them.
Step 9: Refer to cis gender privilege.
cisgender is the term used for people who are not trans or nonbinary.Being cisgender means you don't have to worry about being mistaken for a gender that feels wrong.It means that you are unlikely to be rejected by your family because of your gender identity.Some people don't experience any of these problems, but many do.There is a high risk of physical violence from other people.There are high rates of suicide attempts by trans people.Being cisgender means avoiding a lot of issues that have no choice but to be faced by trans people.
Step 10: If you hear transphobic statements, speak up.
Stand up for trans people.Speak up and say that you respect that person and don't want to hear them insulted, if you hear someone putting down someone in your life.If someone makes a joke about gender-non conforming people, tell them you're offended.You could say, "I don't appreciate you calling my friend a "tr*nny."You don't know what she is doing.If you start putting down people based on their gender, you should check yourself.
Step 11: Donate to or volunteer for trans-positive causes.
The quality of life of the people you know and haven't met can be improved by your time and money.There are high rates of homelessness for trans youth.Consider donating to a shelter.Sometimes trans prisoners are placed in the wrong facility due to their assigned sex.Trans people need affordable healthcare for gender-affirming surgery, hormones, and other treatments.