Anyone can tell you that parenting is hard.It becomes more of a challenge when you are struggling with sensory issues, anxiety, and other issues.It can be rewarding even though many people struggle with parenting.You'll be able to look back at your children and be proud of how you raised them, regardless of the fact that you're Autistic, as long as you remember that parenting can be incredibly hard and the job is never truly "over".
Step 1: Understand the situation.
It's a good idea to take a look at the situation.Do you want to be a parent?Did you already have children?Have you had children and received a diagnosis?It's important to analyze the situation closely because no situation will be the same.
Step 2: You don't have to be a bad parent if you're autistic.
There are many parents who are amazing at parenting and treat their children well.You don't have to be a terrible parent or not be able to parent right if you're on the spectrum.Since they've grown up with a unique perspective on life, they can be wonderful parents.Good parents sometimes make bad decisions while trying to look out for their child.This doesn't make you a bad parent.This applies to all parents, no matter what their condition is.Some methods of parenting can cross into bad parenting.Many parents understand that when their child becomes a teenager, they're going to be curious about things like alcohol and drugs.It's against the law to give liquor to a teen, even though a parent can't stop a teenager from drinking or doing drugs on their own accord."bad parenting" is forcing things so that you have total control over your child.If they're young, you have to have some control over them.This refers to teaching your child to behave in public, not how they dress, act, or where they go.The relationship between you and your child will be damaged if you try to control every aspect of their life.
Step 3: Tell your children something.
If your child or children are old enough to understand, it may be a good idea to tell them about the diagnosis if you just received it.Explain that there's nothing wrong with being autistic and use language that they would understand.If your children don't have a lot of knowledge about the condition, they might ask you about it.You could say to your younger children, "When I went to see the doctor, he told me I had something called autism spectrum disorder."This makes me different.I don't understand what people are feeling unless they tell me, and I hear things louder than other people.Explain the symptoms that people on the spectrum have, which ones pertain to them, and how they can affect you.If you're sensitive to loud noises, a good explanation could be, "Because I hear things louder than other people do, I can get upset if there are too many."It's important to make it clear that it isn't bad.Emphasize your strengths and talk about what makes you unique.If you keep everyone's desk organized, you can point this out.
Step 4: Prepare yourself for questions that will be awkward.
If your child or children don't know anything about the condition, they might ask strange questions.The younger the child is, the less knowledge your child has about the condition.If your child asks a question that makes you feel hurt or confused, you should be prepared.Your child may ask if he can get it as well.Explain to them that it's not possible to catch it like a cold.You can try to explain to your child that there is a possibility that it is caused by genetics.
Step 5: If you have children with special needs, watch for competing sensory needs.
If you have a child who is also on the spectrum, it can cause difficulties with sensory stimulation.It can be difficult to negotiate if one person is a sensory seeker and the other is not.Brainstorming solutions so that both people are comfortable.If your daughter needs echolalia or music to focus and you need silence when overwhelmed, you can offer headphones to her.You can compromise on noise-canceling headphones that have a white noise switch.Don't just come up with ideas on your own, involve your child or children in the discussion.You can give feedback on the ideas that your child or children suggest, and you may be surprised at what they come up with.
Step 6: When you feel overwhelmed, give your needs a description.
Your child can't internalize negative messages if you set boundaries.If you focus on your feelings and needs, your child will understand that it's an issue with you.My brain is full.It's not a good time to talk."I need a time out."Don't put your hands in the Legos.My ears are sensitive and it makes a loud sound.I'm too tired to play.You go ahead.I need alone time when I'm in my corner, so please let me be.
Step 7: Take time off if you want to.
respite care, daycare, and babysitters give you time to relax without having to focus on your children's needs.There is a serious issue of fatigue.It's important to take time for yourself so that you aren't at a high risk of dealing with sensory overload or problems with executive function.If your children can spend a day or two at a relative's house, that would be great.You can take some time off to bond with your relatives.When your children are in bed for the night, give yourself some time to relax.
Step 8: Children need to respect boundaries from an early age.
If you are in sensory overload and on the verge of a meltdown, you will need quiet for yourself and your children."I need quiet time" is an important phrase.An area of the house should be set aside.When overwhelmed, you can retreat in your bedroom.It's important for your children to know that when you are in there, you need to be left alone.They can get similar corners of their own.If you're raising your children with a non-autistic partner or spouse, you should request that they watch over them while you go to your quiet area.It's a good idea to come up with a single phrase or hand signal to communicate, "I need you to take over while I go calm down".
Step 9: To organize a helpful routine, use your skill with systems.
It is good for you and your children to have a routine.To figure out how things go, try creating a picture schedule.Don't get angry with your child if they are late to school or soccer practice because the routine is unbalanced.It's easy to get upset with your child for disrupting the routine, but doing so will upset them too, whether they're upset that you yelled at them or upset by the fact that they disappointed you.Everyone, including your children, makes mistakes and some children can have trouble with time management at a young age.
Step 10: Observe to spot potential problems.
You may be able to spot issues from sharp corners to crabby children in the next room if you know where to look.If your child's bookshelf is not attached to the wall and there are power outlets on the floor, you need to find time to fix it.Don't refer to a potential problem as a helicopter.There is a fine line between trying to keep your child out of danger and being so focused on a problem that you don't pay much attention to other issues.If you have a child that uses the internet, for example, it's okay to take precautions by blocking sites that you know might disturb your child, but constantly monitoring what they're doing online is almost never necessary unless there is a reasonable suspicion that they are engaging in dangerous activities.
Step 11: You can use your research and focus to learn more about parenting.
There are many parenting books and websites.It is possible to learn about parts of parenting that bother you.
Step 12: You should recognize that you have a special bond with your children with this condition.
If you have personal experience with the same challenges and differences, you can relate better to the children who are on the spectrum.If your child has trouble making friends or socializing, this can make it easier to understand what they are going through.You can't expect to experience everything your child experiences if they are different from you.If you communicate verbal, your child will communicate non-verbally.It can make it easier to understand your child.Do you lose the ability to speak if you're overwhelmed?
Step 13: If you have any questions, talk to your other caregivers.
You'll need support if you're open about your needs.A partner or spouse who is aware of your condition will have a much easier time understanding why you're getting upset and leaving the room when your child is throwing a noisy tantrum.It's a good idea to be cautious about who you tell about your condition outside of people you know will accept you.You may just want to explain your symptoms, not that you're autistic, as it's quite stigmatized and has many myths associated with it.I wanted to let you know that I might need you to watch over him more often.Sometimes I have trouble moving from one task to the next, and I'm trying to learn ways to deal with that, but in the meantime, I need more help.
Step 14: You can network with other people with the condition.
They have experience with the same issues and questions and can offer support.If your child cries because of sensory overload, other parents with the same condition can offer advice for reducing the stimulation.
Step 15: Find a person who can mentor you.
Look to relatives, friends, disabled people, club/church members, and others who can act as parenting role models and givers of advice.Having someone help you learn to manage parenting can be a great resource.Ask your family members for advice if you have good relationships with them.If your children aren't autistic, you could ask your brother for parenting advice, even though he might not seem like someone you'd ask.
Step 16: A parenting class is a good place to start.
The "unwritten rules" that non-autistics absorb by osmosis can be described by the class.
Step 17: Look for services for people with disabilities.
Depending on your region and income level, help with cooking, cleaning, advocacy, respite care, and other issues may be available.
Step 18: Individual or family therapy can be considered.
This can help you come up with solutions.Clear communication, as well as ways of handling other problems associated with the condition, may be offered by the therapist.Good communication doesn't mean non-autistic communication.The goal is to communicate well in your own way, not pretending to be someone else.There are harmful therapy techniques.If your therapist is trying to prevent you or your child from behaving in typical mannerisms associated with the condition, stop the sessions.A therapist shouldn't say that therapy is about "curing" autism, it's about learning to manage it.