At times, everybody feels anxious.It's a common misconception that the way to cure social anxiety is to be yourself.It couldn't be further from the truth.To be comfortable in social situations, you have to be relaxed.There are a few ways to be yourself.
Step 1: Take a few seconds to focus on your breathing when you are nervous or anxious.
The best relaxation technique is deep breathing.Take a deep breath through your nose, hold it for a few seconds, and then exhale.You can feel the stress melt away if you repeat three times.Whenever you start to feel stressed, do this.In the middle of a conversation, you can do this method.You can practice on your own.It seems simple, but deep breathing is a skill.The lungs are below the rib cage and above the stomach.The most relaxing way to breathe is diaphragm.Be aware of your breathing.When you start to get nervous or frustrated, you'll notice your breathing is quick and your heart is pounding.Deficiency of oxygen and carbon dioxide leads to more anxiety problems like dizziness and muscle tension.Your breath is deliberate when you're calm.You can meditate to focus on your breathing.All your thoughts should float away when you sit in a quiet place and focus on your breathing.
Step 2: The current conversation should be the focus.
We focus too much on our appearance or on negative social interactions.We lose confidence to start new conversations because of this.Social anxiety is not visible at all.People can't tell if you're nervous.People will think you are personable if you act confident.Think of things to say while someone else is talking.Look in their eyes.Nod your head.Occasionally they affirm or respond with an "okay" or "WOW."This will make you a better speaker.When you're in a social situation, be aware of your thoughts.If you find yourself dwelling on negative thoughts like "I was boring in that last conversation" or " nobody wanted to talk to me", replace those thoughts with positive ones.Remember how strong your conversation is and how well you were mingling earlier.Your negative thoughts are based on myths.
Step 3: If you want to build confidence in social situations where you aren't comfortable, you should look out for them.
This will help build your confidence.If you are at your best playing sports with friends or studying in a group, look for those activities.If you're not comfortable in parties, start by going to small parties hosted by friends and mingling with people you know.Slowly, go to parties that are out of your comfort zone.There are two kinds of social situations.The settings and people should be ranked from least comfortable to most comfortable.You know your strengths by this method.The activities at the top of the list should be favored.Slowly move towards the bottom of the list.Let your friends know if you're not comfortable.They will help you on your way.Don't be afraid to avoid activities that you'll never be comfortable in.
Step 4: Work on overcoming your safety behaviors.
You use safety behaviors in social situations.Drinking to build confidence, avoiding eye contact, and frequently making excuses to leave conversations are some of the common safety behaviors.These can be useful, but they can also be very dangerous as they allow you to avoid the underlying problem.All the safety behaviors you use, write them down.If you abuse any of those behaviors, you should go through your list.If you have to drink before a social setting where you're not comfortable, that's abuse and you need to stop.Slowly phase out safety behaviors that you don't like.Facing your fears is how to do this.Make an effort to look at people in the eyes if you avoid eye contact.Practice eye contact with friends.Work up to people you don't know.Do you know which safety behaviors you use?The situations you're most afraid of are the ones where you compensate the most.These fears should be faced last.Work your way up if you work on smaller fears first.
Step 5: Don't be someone you're not by trying to please other people.
People like you for who you are.People don't like a poser.If you bend over backwards to fit in, people will notice and you won't be happy.It will make other people happy if you focus on your own happiness first.Don't say a phrase just because other people say it.Follow your intuition.You won't be able to think if you overthink.Act spontaneously.Spur of the moment decisions are more likely to embody your self than the person society wants you to be.If you want to remember something, don't replay parts of the conversation.Silences are not your fault or bad.There are lulls in every conversation.Both parties have a responsibility to keep the conversation going.
Step 6: You have to fake it until you make it.
This method is tried and true.If you don't feel confident, smile and carry your body in a confident manner.It will trick your mind into believing that you are happy and confident.Look in the mirror.You should try to do this every time you go to the bathroom.Studies show that smiling when you aren't happy will calm you down.Do a "power pose" in the mirror.Put your hands on your hips, put your arms out to the side, and stick your chin up.This will make you believe you're confident.You will begin to become confident when you practice this regularly.Proper posture is practiced throughout the day.Keep your shoulders and spine straight.Keep your head up.This will make you feel more confident.Act friendly even if you don't like it.This will make others see you as friendly and happy.Their perception will change quickly.
Step 7: Show your best side when you meet new people.
Every time you meet a new person, you have a chance to show them who you are.It's not the end of the world if they don't like you.You don't have to like them.It's important that you tried.The friendlier the faces you see in a room, the more comfortable you'll be.Make a point to mingle at social gatherings.A friend should introduce themselves.You can join clubs and groups.It's the best way to meet new people.If you enjoy sailing, join a club.If you enjoy reading, join a book club.Exchange numbers and arrange a time to meet up.You can keep in touch with people you meet by texting.
Step 8: Keep a journal.
Write down your thoughts and write about events in your life.This will help you to be comfortable with yourself.Write down everything you want.You can't write something that's wrong.Write the first thing that comes to mind.Write down your thoughts and ideas.Don't worry about what you write.You are the only one who will ever see it.Write about yourself.You should get to know your thoughts and actions better.Don't forget to be conscious of your actions and why you do them.You will learn about yourself if you don't like what you do and think.You will find areas of yourself that you enjoy.Things you like and things you don't like about yourself.Write a way to improve the negative or keep doing the positive.
Step 9: You should be aware of your thoughts.
Negative thoughts are one of the biggest challenges to being yourself.Negative thoughts are often baseless and selfdestructive.You can overcome your negative thoughts once you're aware of them.Try to replace them with positive thoughts.Write down your negative thoughts.You can change them once they're written down.Look at those negative thoughts.Why are you having them?Is it true that they are even true?Is there any counter-examples?Is they productive or destructive?Do you fixate on those thoughts?Do you have any negative thoughts?You will start to realize how silly your negative thoughts are.Positive thoughts should be replaced with negative ones."I had a great conversation earlier, but I chose not to, instead of being left out of conversations."Think of the time you made a great pun and everyone cracked up.Don't forget to focus on the positive.Don't worry, laugh at yourself.Laughter is the best medicine.You will start to realize how baseless your negative thoughts are once you can identify them.Those thoughts can be funny after a while.You have conquered your negative thoughts if you can laugh at them.
Step 10: Through others you can learn about yourself.
Work on building your current relationships and seek new ones.Meet ups are initiated with friends or strangers.You should reflect on your communication skills and relationships.Look for people like that when you hang out with them.Work on improving the way you talk and interact.If you like people who do active things with you, you're probably an active person as well.Don't stop having active social meetings.Practice your skills with friends if you have problems with relationships.Take social skills classes.These can be offered at local adult education centers.Play to your strengths.Have your communication center around jokes if you find people laughing at your jokes frequently.Ask your friends about you.Discuss your personality with them.What are you good at and what can you improve on?Through other people, you can learn about yourself.
Step 11: It's a good idea to get in touch with your younger self.
You get socialized to be someone else.This happens to everyone.Social norms haven't instantiated themselves on you when you're young.You can channel that pure version of yourself in social scenarios if you remember what it was like to be young and free.Try to act on impulse.It is more likely that your intuitive actions represent your true self than it is your socialized self.Don't worry about being judged.Don't worry, just do what you want.The moment is appreciated.Don't think about the past or the future.Get caught up in the present and love each moment.You didn't care what other people thought when you were young.You listened to the music you wanted, you read the lyrics, and you did what you were told to do.Try to get back to that mentality.Do things that you used to like when you were a kid.Do cartwheels or build a sandcastle.
Step 12: You can try yoga and meditation.
Your thought and breath determine your behavior.Do 15 minutes of yoga every morning.Take a break when you feel stressed.This can be very calming.Your body will relax as you feel more comfortable.Go to a local class or watch a video online to learn yoga.In a quiet place, you can learn how to meditate.Even in the middle of a conversation, you can do yoga or meditation.If you feel nervous at a party, do yoga on an airplane or meditate for a few seconds.
Step 13: Exercise!
Physical activity can help reduce stress, fight anxiety, and boost self-esteem.Exercise makes you feel good.15 minutes of exercise a day can help you be happy.You don't have to be in the gym to exercise.You can either go for a run or pick up a basketball.It is more beneficial to work out with friends than alone.Stick to the work out plan.Decide how often you want to work out.While still getting some physical activity every day, aim to exercise four times a week.Walking or riding your bike to work is a great way to get in some exercise.The health benefits of exercise include increased energy levels and a stronger heart, which will help you calm down and be more confident.
Step 14: Get plenty of sleep.
Doctors recommend seven to nine hours of sleep a night.You are more at risk for anxiety and depression when you are sleep deprived.You are more likely to stay calm and composed when you are well rested.It's a good idea to beware of over sleeping.It can make your problems worse if you sleep ten hours or more.Coffee and chocolate are bad for you.These act as stimulants and increase anxiety.
Step 15: Don't drink and smoke in moderation.
Nicotine can lead to higher anxiety levels and lower self esteem.Drinking acts as a crutch.It can seem like a solution, but alcohol increases your chances of an anxiety attack.Make a plan to stop smoking.You should tell your family and friends what you're doing.Nicotine patches can be used to reward you for not smoking.Make a plan to stop drinking.Be aware of how much you're drinking.Going to alcoholics anonymous if you're having trouble is a good idea.
Step 16: Go to a therapist or take medication if these steps don't work.
13 percent of the population suffers from some kind of social anxiety.You need to get help if self-help doesn't work for you.First, tell your family and friends about your condition.They can give you the same or better help as a therapist would.Don't self-medicate.Get a doctor first.They will refer you to a specialist who can help you with the symptoms of social anxiety.They will not fight the underlying cause.The problem will come back if you stop taking your medication.Seeking professional help is nothing to be ashamed of if you try self-help methods first.It can be very difficult and brave.