Difficult people are all over the place.You can be difficult as well.People go through periods where they don't act their best.If you want to maintain a relationship with a difficult person, you'll need to develop some strategies.
Step 1: You should choose your battles wisely.
It is worth your time to discuss the problem with a difficult person.There are not every fights that need to be fought.The happier your life will become, the sooner you realize this.You and this difficult person should be able to compromise.This is not always possible.If the situation is causing you distress, ask yourself if it needs to be addressed.Consider your relationship with this person.Unless it's abusive behavior, you have to accept things that you don't like.If it's a friend or family member, think about whether choosing not to engage is enabling bad behavior or simply saving you time and grief.Can you win this fight?If you want to take on someone who irks you, you need to size up the situation and see if you can resolve it.Maybe the timing is bad and you need to formulate a plan, get help, or consider your options.
Step 2: Before reacting to difficult behavior, pause for a moment.
Before you respond to collect your thoughts, take a deep breath.Try not to send digital text messages when upset if your conflict is happening via email.Take some time to relax.You will be able to approach the person in a more reasonable way.Discuss your issue in a neutral place.You could talk while walking.Negative face-to-face interactions can be limited by this.
Step 3: Speak assertively about your needs.
Don't allow the person to manipulate you or twist your words.Instead of "you" accusations, aim to use "I" statements.I am aware that you are frustrated by my lateness.I would feel the same way.We were stuck in the station this morning because the subway line was down.Do not say: "You are unreasonable for expecting me to be late when the subway system was broken down."If you really cared, you could have checked my line.
Step 4: Continue to be polite.
Don't let the other person know that you're cool.Don't use name-calling.Breaths are taken before your responses.The key is to be the best person you can be.The calmer you are, the more likely the other person will notice.The other person is more likely to listen to what you have to say if you stay polite.
Step 5: Don't let the facts get in the way of sticking to them.
A short, clear narrative is notbogged down with too much detail or emotion.It is possible that you won't be able to convince the person to see your point of view.You don't need to explain yourself if you state what happened.It's a good idea to avoid triggering topics.If you fight about holidays with your sister-in-law, don't talk about it.Someone else should be doing the mediation.Don't be defensive.It is best to ignore these types of arguments with difficult people.You don't want to waste time trying to prove you're right.Keep the situation neutral.
Step 6: Stick to the limits set by them.
It can be difficult to set limits with another person, but it is important to maintain a healthy relationship.Decide which behaviors you are willing to tolerate and how you will deal with them.You can set limits for yourself, for example, if you want to spend an hour with Mom on Mother's Day, but you won't spend a whole day with her.Comments about my weight should not be made.If you do, I will immediately end the conversation and walk away.If you don't stick to your boundaries, difficult people will take advantage of you.If you have told a difficult coworker that you don't want them to tell sexist jokes around you, do not call them out or ignore them at other times.They should be asked not to continue the behavior.It is possible to set a specific consequence, like, "If it happens again, I will bring it up with HR."
Step 7: You should minimize your interactions.
If you can't deal with your problem person, limit your time with them.Try to keep things short by excusing yourself from the conversation or bringing a third party into it.Make sure to stay positive and calm after.Accept that this person won't be a good friend, colleague or sibling.You may have to cut ties with the person if all else fails.It can be difficult if it is a close family member, a significant other, or someone you work with.It might be time to move on if their behavior is toxic and abusive.
Step 8: Talk to your friends.
If you're not making headway with someone, talk to a potential mediator.Maybe your boss can help.A mutual party can negotiate if your conflict is within the family.You should only share complaints with people you trust.
Step 9: Difficult people will always be there.
No matter where you live or work, you will see people who are trying to hurt others.The key is to learn how to deal with them.It is possible to identify some of the different types of difficult people so you can decide on the best way to interact with them.They include people who areHostile.People react violently.They have trouble being in the right.There are people who thrive in power roles.People looking for insults are referred to as "Rejection-Sensitive" people.They are easily offended.They use texting and email to express their displeasure.There are types of neurotic.They might be very critical of others."Egotists" are those who prize their own interests first.They don't like compromise, are hyper-sensitive to personal matters, and may be ungrateful even when you've done something for them.
Step 10: Your tolerance for frustration should be increased.
You can't control the other person's behavior, but you can decide how you will react.Increasing your frustration tolerance involves challenging irrational beliefs that may lead you to become stressed, angry, or lose your cool.You might be thinking, "I can't deal with this person anymore!"Take a deep breath and question the validity of the irrational thought before reacting.Although it may take a lot of energy and will, you can deal with it.If your boss is going on a rant or your mother-in-law is trying to micromanage Thanksgiving, you won't die or go insane.You can take it, you are strong.Will you stress until your blood pressure starts to go up, or will you take some deep breaths and give your mother-in-law some carrots to chop?Take a moment to think about the words you are using.
Step 11: Take a look at your own behavior.
It is possible that you are attracting the wrong type of people.If you are too negative, other people will flock to you.Try to find friends who are positive.What was your role when you had bad experiences?What were your responses to the behavior?Let's say your friend Liz picks on you.Do you respond?Do you stand up for yourself?It is helpful to know your strengths and weaknesses.If you confront difficult people in the future, you will be better equipped to handle them.
Step 12: You should be aware of your perception of others.
One of your friends might seem difficult, but they could be going through a rough time or struggling to deal with a difficult situation.If you step back and think about how you would feel in their place, you will be able to practice empathy.You will be better able to diffuse conflicts if you are sensitive to personality differences.Take a deep breath and look at the person with a lot of compassion.I see that you are hurting.Even if I don't understand why, I accept that you are anxious and scared.I accept that you are making me anxious as well.Accepting that something "just is" and acknowledging that the person is difficult will release some of the tension created by resistance or trying to fight.Imagine a reason for their behavior.You don't understand why a customer just blew up at you.They might be suffering from chronic pain, which makes them angry, instead of becoming angry themselves.It doesn't matter if the reason is valid or realistic, it helps you stay calm and not feed into the negative vibes.