Depending on the severity of the stalking, having a stalker can be an uncomfortable or frightening situation.If you think you are being followed, you should take steps to distance yourself from your stalker and protect yourself and your family.
Step 1: What qualifies as stalking?
Stalking is the act of making repeated or inappropriate contact with you that is unwanted and unreciprocated.Stalking can happen in person, with someone following you, or at your workplace.There are signs of stalking that may include receiving unwanted gifts, being followed, receiving email messages, and receiving repetitive phone calls.Stalking can happen online in the form of cyber-stalking.These types of contact can be difficult to prosecute, but you may be able to avoid this harassment by changing your online privacy settings.Any instance of cyber-stalking that transitions into in-person stalking should be reported immediately.
Step 2: Do you have a stalker?
Knowing the type of stalker you are dealing with can help you notify the police if necessary, as some stalkers are more dangerous than others.Simple stalkers are the majority.These are people who may have had a friendly relationship with you in the past.The relationship ended for you, not the other person.Love obsession stalkers are people who have never met you but think they are in a relationship with you.People who follow celebrities are in this category.When a stalker has a psychotic fantasy about a relationship with their victims, they will often turn from threats to intimidation.They could escalate to violence if this fails.Sometimes an abusive relationship or marriage can lead to the stalker becoming a violent attacker.One of the most dangerous stalkers is this one.
Step 3: How much danger are you in?
A casual acquaintances who develops an obsession and drives by your house occasionally may be harmless.If you let your guard down, an abusive ex-husband may try to kill you.Do you think the stalker has any information about your real-life location?Don't reveal your hometown or home address on public pages, and maintain a secure online presence.You should trust your instincts, be aware of the person's past behavior, and be realistic about the danger you're in.If you feel like you or your family are in danger, you should seek help from your local police or sheriff's office.Emergency Services should be called if you think danger is imminent.
Step 4: You should be attentive.
If you think you are being followed, you should be extra careful.People acting strange in your neighborhood or near your workplace.Take notes about what you observe.
Step 5: Don't talk with your stalker.
Any contact the victims make with them is seen as validation of their relationship with the stalker, which is not true.If you can avoid it, don't call, write, or speak to your stalker in person.
Step 6: It is a good idea to avoid signs or messages.
Sometimes stalking victims yell at or talk to their stalkers, but even overt rudeness can be misinterpreted as communication of affection or interest.If you're being followed online, don't respond to any messages, no matter how angry you get.Leave the computer and print them for evidence.
Step 7: Put your personal information out of sight.
If a stalker does not have personal information about you such as your phone number, home address or email address, do not allow them to find it.Do not give your phone number out in public.If you have to give a phone number, try using a work phone or writing it down and shredding it.You don't want to put your home address in writing.In extreme stalking cases, you may want to get a PO Box for your mailing address so that you don't have to give anyone your home address.Don't share your home address or place of work on social media.This could allow a stalker to find you in person.
Step 8: You should get a protective order.
If you are the victim of stalking or stalkers with a history of violence, you may be able to get an order of protection which requires the stalker to stay away from you.This could anger the stalker and push him to violence.
Step 9: You should move to a location that isn't public.
It is possible to move to a new place in extreme stalking cases.If you do that, you may want to consult an organization such as a battered women's shelter for tips about how to make yourself disappear.Do not have your mail forwarded to you.If you register to vote in a new place, be careful.You can request anonymity.Your name may be on the public record if you purchase property.You may want to rent to remain anonymous when these records are tied to databases.
Step 10: Tell a bunch of people about your problem.
If something were to happen, it is important to tell enough people that you have witnesses, even if you don't want to.If you live in an apartment building, you should tell your parents, your boss, a co-worker or two, and your spouse.Show people a picture of your stalker.Give them a description if not.Tell people what to do if they see a stalker.Is it a good idea for them to call you?Are you going to call the police?Tell the stalker to leave?
Step 11: Report stalking to the police.
If the stalking has been non-violent, you may want to report it to the police.Many police departments need to have evidence of at least two unwanted contacts before they can charge someone with stalking.The authorities may not be able to do anything until the stalking has reached a point of threats or violence.If you want to develop a safety plan, ask them what you should do to keep track of incidents, when and how to call for help, and if they have any tips.If you feel that the police don't take your complaint seriously at first, call them frequently.
Step 12: The stalking should be reported to appropriate individuals.
If you are a student, you should report stalking.This could be a campus police officer, administrator, counselor, or residence hall director.If you don't know who to tell, start with a trusted friend or family member.
Step 13: Alert your family.
Your family may also be at risk if you are in danger.You have to tell them about the problem and how to deal with it.This is a difficult conversation to have with your children, but it may save their lives.If the stalker is a member of your family, it may cause division among other family members.The stalker is responsible for his illegal actions, so remember that you are protecting yourself.
Step 14: Seek help from an organization dedicated to stalking.
If you don't feel comfortable talking to friends, family, or the police, you can call a resource that deals with violence prevention.For women and children, there are resources that can provide counseling and help you make a plan.
Step 15: A safety plan is necessary.
You need to have a safety plan if you feel that the stalking will get out of hand.It could be as simple as keeping your phone with you 100% of the time to call for help or keeping a packed bag and a full tank of gas in your car.Try not to be alone in vulnerable situations, like walking to and from your workplace or home at night.Inform a trusted friend of your safety plan.If she doesn't hear from you by a pre-arranged time, she will call you and the police.
Step 16: You should have a security check done at home.
A security check on your home may be offered by a security company or police department to make sure there are no hidden recording devices or potential entry risks.Ask the person you schedule the appointment with to give you a physical description of the individual who will be doing the check on your home.Before you let them in, ask the person performing the check for his or her credentials.
Step 17: Write anything down.
You should keep any emails, social media messages, handwritten notes, or gifts.If you need to build a case against the stalker, you should keep the evidence, even if you want to destroy it.Any electronic correspondence can be printed.Date and time should be printed as well.You don't have to look at the items if you keep them.You can put them in a box in your closet or basement.
Step 18: Phone calls and voicemails can be recorded.
You can use an old fashioned tape recorder or download a call recording program for your phone.If you save voicemails with threatening or violent content, you will be able to report them to the authorities.You should not do this if you live in a two-party consent state.Is your state a two party consent state?You can find out if you live in a two party consent state.
Step 19: All the time, be aware.
Being paranoid and not letting down your guard is one of the best ways to deal with a stalker.You are more likely to pick up on subtle signs of inappropriate contact if you are paranoid.
Step 20: A journal is where you can write notes.
It will be much easier to file a police report if you have a detailed record of stalking activity that made you uncomfortable.Dates and time are important.The journal can be used to determine if you should avoid or catch your stalker.
Step 21: If there are changes in behavior or escalation, watch for them.
The stalker can get violent very quickly.Inform the authorities if you start to see signs that things are about to get out of hand.Increased contact with friends or relatives Increased display of emotion or stronger words
Step 22: Tell the stalker that you don't want to have a relationship with him.
If you think your stalker will back down with confrontation, you might try to speak to him directly.If you tell the stalker that you are not interested in a relationship with him, he might back off.Consider having another person present to help protect you in case of violence and to act as a witness to the conversation.One or both of the men could become upset by the other's presence, so don't ask your boyfriend to help you.Ask a friend or relative to be with you.Don't be nice with your rejection.Being nice to a stalker can encourage him, and he may try to listen to your tone rather than your words.
Step 23: He must know that you will never be interested in a relationship.
If you think that your stalker will back down with confrontation, be sure to tell him that a relationship will never happen.If you say you're not interested in a relationship at this time or because you have a boyfriend right now, the stalker may not be deterred.You will never have a relationship under any circumstances.
Step 24: Don't use colored language.
It can be difficult to have a conversation with your stalker if you are frightened or angry.It is important to remain calm, avoid yelling, and be clear and direct.Just as sympathy or niceness can be misinterpreted as affection, so can anger.
Step 25: During the communication, ask for support.
It's best not to have this conversation alone.If you ask for help, you may want to make sure that your friend is not seen as a threat or competition.If you feel safe confronting the stalker, you may want to include a friend who is the same gender as you.
Step 26: Don't get involved with a stalker who has a history of violence.
If you have been a victim of violence at the hands of the stalker, you should not attempt to contact him on your own.If you want to send a clear message to a stalker, consult the police department or victim services.