There is no single way to help someone who is grieving.You should be there to offer a shoulder to cry on and emotional validation instead of trying to impose your own vision on the grieving person.They will have to spend time grieving.You should encourage them to find their own way to remember their loved one, because their feelings are natural.
Step 1: As a companion, act as one.
Different people have different experiences with grief.That means that you won't be able to tell the person in mourning how to respond.Your role is to listen and support them.Listen, don't tell.Constantly remind them that their response is normal.Encourage them to use their skills.Encourage them to express their feelings if they are an artist.Help them understand their feelings.Help them develop a schedule that will allow them to manage their daily tasks.Don't forget that your job is to be there, not to take away the pain.That is impossible.Don't try to fix them, your job is to support them.
Step 2: It's a good idea to validation feelings.
Making it clear that you understand the person's feelings is important.They should be aware that people experience grief differently and that such feelings are natural.It is possible to explain some of the common responses to grief.People who experience grief focus on problem solving and try to control their emotions.Those who experience intuitive grieving have emotional experiences that include depression and thoughts about mortality.It's common for people to blame themselves for feeling depressed, anxious, and withdrawn from the world.
Step 3: Ask your own questions.
Don't ask "yes" and "no" questions.Ask big, broad questions that encourage them to think about their feelings and explore the subjects that they are interested in.Make it clear that you don't want to question the validity of their feelings.Do not ask why.These make it sound like you don't support their feelings.Instead of asking "Why do you feel that way?", ask "Could you give me specific examples?"
Step 4: Phrases are used in responses.
Give a short summary of what they have told you if you want to get to the core of their problems.This will show that you are listening and will help them understand what is bothering them the most.I stay up every night thinking about him.I can't think clearly when I go to work.Ask, "So your grief is causing sleep problems that disrupt your life?"
Step 5: It's a good idea to reflect on the feelings.
You should verify that you have understood their emotions when you get a sense for how they feel.This is a way to show that you are listening and have developed an emotional connection.It sounds like you are angry about something.
Step 6: Unsupportive behavior should beRefrain from.
Everything you do should be directed at them.Anything that suggests your focus is somewhere else will be counter productive.You shouldn't force your own solutions on them.Do not look at the clock.Don't take notes.Don't look around the room.Don't try to read too much into their feelings and impose your own ideas on them.Don't lecture or preach about what they should do.Don't ask too many questions or give too much advice.Don't respond too quickly.Allow some moments of silence.Don't change the subject.Don't talk about yourself too much.
Step 7: They are in the eye.
Look in their eyes to see if you are interested in what they are saying.Allow your face to show how supportive you are.Be active and nodding in agreement.
Step 8: Your body should be kept open and relaxed.
You may be closed off or uninviting if you have crossed legs and arms.Try to sit straight up.You can gesture with your hands to show your support.If your body is facing directly toward the grieving person, you are engaged with them.You should sit on the same level as the person you are talking to.Take a chair that does not allow you to tower over them.It's not helpful for open conversation to have a sense of power imbalance.
Step 9: Talk like you care about something.
Allow your voice to show emotion and talk naturally.Try to make your voice calm.Your conversation style should show that you are listening.Don't interrupt them, jump from topic to topic, or rush them to an answer.It's okay to leave periods of silence.They can think about their feelings and make sure they don't feel cut off or rushed to respond.
Step 10: They should plan ahead for important dates.
Feelings of loss can be triggered by holidays or important dates in a relationship.They should plan ahead to commemorate those days.They can use this to create a sense of continuity with the past.There is no reason why the griever should not celebrate or remember the deceased on any other day.
Step 11: Encourage them to remember with ritual.
They can use a lot of rituals to remember their loved one.They pick one based on their relationship with the person and what brought them together.Preparing a meal that the deceased enjoyed is one example.A person likes a movie.It's a good idea to walk somewhere where the two of them had been in the past.On important days, buy flowers.The deceased wanted to travel somewhere.Listen to music that makes you feel better.There is a photo album.
Step 12: They should be encouraged to express their grief through art.
They can be asked to write fiction, personal essays, or poetry that expresses and identifies feelings.Artists can be encouraged to paint or draw.A journal can be used to deal with emotions.Ask them to write about the person they lost.They can write about how that person has influenced them.They should be told that the deceased lives on through them.
Step 13: A memory book is what you should create.
The grieving process can be helped by memory books.Contribute photos or stories about the deceased person.One can come to terms with the magnitude of the loss and focus on the realities of their new life without forgetting about their lost loved one.
Step 14: You can use the open-chair technique.
Ask the grieving person to imagine the dead person sitting in an open chair.The person who has lost a loved one should be given the chance to speak to the person in the chair and say what they want to say.It is possible to play out situations from the past or rehearse difficult future situations.The use of objects, such as jewelry and other items which the bereaved person is comfortable with, can be used to facilitate talking and bring the mourning process to a close.
Step 15: Don't try to push something.
Some people want to clear their heads before they try to remember their loved one.People can't talk about what happened.Giving the grieving party ideas about how to move on is your job.It's not your job to make them do something they don't want to do.