Do you give in to everyone?Do you feel like people walk all over you because you are kind and generous?Speak up for yourself and say no more often.Establish limits and address your own needs to build confidence.You don't have to be a constant people pleaser in order for others to like and respect you.
Step 1: Evaluate if you are being respected.
Do you feel like you're being used?They may have been asking you for favors without giving you back.You deserve to be respected for your time, money, and efforts.One person can only do so much.If the person you're using is showing mutual respect and kindness, you should figure that out.Understand that respectful people wouldn't do that to you if the situation feels one-sided.A friend of yours always asks to borrow your stuff and never returns it.Maybe they come up with excuses when you ask for your stuff back.Some people will use a situation to their advantage.
Step 2: Don't think about your needs.
You should set your expectations higher.Your needs are the same as anyone else's.It's only hurting you if your actions are consuming all your time, money, and resources.You should have your needs met.You should be loved, cared for, and appreciated.Explain that you have limits on your time, money, and resources.Don't let those who respect you try to guilt-trip you.Tell someone, "I'm sorry, but you asked to borrow my phone multiple times, and I'd rather not give it this time."Please respect that.
Step 3: Don't feel guilty if you say "no" without feeling guilty.
Good people don't make you feel guilty about saying no.They are more likely to back off from bothering you if you give a clear reason.One of your siblings wants to go to a concert this weekend, but has a lot of chores to do before that.Your sibling wants you to help."Sorry, I can't help out.""Sorry, I'd like to be able to relax too, and I completed my chores, even if they say you've got time or aren't as busy."When it's clear that someone else is trying to get out of doing something they don't want to do, say no.It's important to be helpful to those who need help, but avoid being sucked into things you don't like.
Step 4: Don't be mean but direct.
It's important to be concise and friendly when speaking up for yourself.You don't have to do everything in order to be friends with someone.It's important to be clear about what you can and can't do for someone.If you decline to help, be kind.Be friendly and calm.It's important to be nice without agreeing to anything.Offer alternatives for them to consider.They might not have considered other ways to get what they need.You have limits to what you can and can't do.When you and your friends are planning a party, they will assign you to bring refreshments every time.Say, "I did that last time and the time before that."I would like to bring some desserts.
Step 5: Understand their intentions.
You need to understand their perspective in relationships with friends, family, or partners.They may know all the tricks to get what they want, or they may be oblivious to what's happening to you.If they are asking for help from a place of genuine need, look at it.Ask them what their reason is for asking you to do something."Is there a reason you keep asking me to do this for you?"Why did they choose you?Do they see and appreciate what you do?Do they say that you're always someone who says 'yes'?
Step 6: Determine how you feel when people take advantage of you.
How does understanding your partner, friend, or family member's motives make you feel?Do you feel disrespected?Think about what you really want to do.This may be an unhealthy relationship for you if you are doing something for others out of fear of being judged or disrespected.Don't do things out of fear.
Step 7: Limits should be set.
Don't let your partner or close friend walk all over you.If they make excuses why they can't help you, or ask you to do things for them, you need to talk with them about setting limits.Realize that some people are selfish.They are just looking for ways to get what they want.If you know you can't trust someone, avoid them.Talk about limits to their behavior.Be assertive and calm.Don't be afraid of conflict.Ask them, "What do you think might be your own responsibilities in this situation?"The better off you will be the more you set limits.It will get easier as you do it.
Step 8: Make it a win-WIN situation.
Sometimes the best way to resolve a situation is to find a win-win.If you want to help your friend or partner without asking anything in return, learn to ask for something back or a way that both of you can benefit from.Asking for something in return is normal for most people.If your friend wants to borrow some of your clothes for a party this weekend, you could ask her to lend you something in exchange for help with chores or a ride to the party.
Step 9: Be assertive.
You might be asked to do anything at work.Get the work done if you are willing to give back.When it affects your break time, lunch, or after-work hours, be assertive about your limits as an employee.Define your role at work.When it's off-work hours, ask them to respect your time.Speak clearly and concisely.If you act more confidently when you say, "No, sorry I can't help with that right now," then your wishes are more likely to be respected.
Step 10: You don't need to be friends with everyone.
It's important that you get along with your supervisor, but that doesn't mean you have to be mean to them.This is also true for co-workers.It's okay if people just won't like you.You don't need to be liked by everyone, but you should be treated with respect.There is a difference between having a respectful relationship with your co-workers and one where you are being used by them.You will most likely feel used if you agree to do others' work without anything in return.You should focus on interactions with people who treat you with respect.
Step 11: Help is part of a team effort.
If you feel like everyone is asking for your help and time, find ways to focus on something else.Show them that work is a team effort.You give.They give.Everyone contributes to make the work run smoothly.Don't feel overwhelmed by what others are asking of you.You can find ways to understand your role and how others can contribute to the company's goals.If everyone else is asking for help, don't be afraid to ask.It is possible to find solutions that work for everyone if you talk to your boss or co-workers.I wanted to see if I could get some help with this project.Are there any things you can help with?