Friends can backstab or betray you, which is a downside of friendship.It may feel like the end of the world if your friend turns against you.Dealing with friends who turn against you requires compassionate attention to your own emotions as well as closely considering the status of the relationship and moving forward accordingly.If you want to care for your hurt and handle disloyal feelings, learn how.
Step 1: The pain of disloyalty should be acknowledged.
It's hard to find out someone you thought was a close friend isn't really who you think.There is no need to hide the fact that you are hurt.Say the pain aloud.You can name the emotion that you are feeling.I placed my trust in someone who hurt me.You are the only one who has control over how you react to disloyalty.In some cases, this person may be trying to get you to react in a big way.It is better to reflect on how you are feeling and not act out in the moment.
Step 2: Take time to reflect.
Some relationships benefit from a break, others from time apart.Take this break to think about major choices like confronting the friends or ending the friendship.If you calm down after a few days, or if you feel better during the break, it's because you didn't have friends.You can use this time to make new friends.It's a good idea to spend time with a few people.Do you like being with these people?Do you notice any good qualities in these people?Journaling is another way to engage in reflection.Writing down the experience can be very freeing and empowering.You can think of ways to deal with a friend's betrayal.
Step 3: Practice regular self-care.
If you want to rebuild trust with your friends, you have to take care of yourself.We put our own feelings on the back burner to avoid making others feel bad about their actions against us.It doesn't make sense to deny yourself time to care for your own needs.You should forgive yourself for taking a chance on the friendship and for the feelings you had when you found out about the betrayal.It's easy to beat yourself up over letting someone use you when they steal from you or go behind your back.Take care of yourself during this time.Spending time with family, getting a manicure, and binge-watching your favorite TV series are all things you like to do.
Step 4: The bigger the person, the better.
Do not entertain urges to get revenge.If you have to carry the burden of anger, try to forgive those that do you wrong.If you let go of the anger and move on, you may feel like you're letting the other person off too easy.This isn't the case.Holding onto the anger hurts you the most.The person you are angry with has already moved on.The bigger you are, the less power you have.You can't control what other people say about you.If you get angry and nasty, you won't have any more control than you already have.If your actions aren't in line with your beliefs, you will feel guilty and ashamed.If a friend is spreading rumors about you, you can choose not to do the same.Come up with a less aggressive way to handle the situation.The old saying "fight fire with fire" doesn't make sense.You usually fight fire with water, right?All that happens is a much bigger fire if you fuel it with attention or negative actions.
Step 5: Hang out with family and friends.
It can be comforting to surround yourself with people who want nothing but the best for you.It helps you process and cope with a betrayal, and it also reinforces your value as a person and a friend.If one of your friends lets you down, be sure to keep your other friends loyal to you.Let them know how much you appreciate them.
Step 6: Evaluate your friendship.
It's possible that a friend who knows you well will turn against you.You have to decide if it is better to ignore the rumor or address the issue.It's probably a good idea to ignore the friend if the problem is just with them.If your job is at risk or there are allegations that go beyond a small rumor that will blow over, you may need to take other steps to prevent the situation from getting worse.Everyone is talking about the issue.Is there legal ramifications?How many people are aware of what happened?The scope of the problem can be discovered by asking these questions.It's a good idea to talk to an impartial party about what you can do to resolve the issue.You have to trust your own judgement about how to handle it, but you can get some sound advice.
Step 7: Fighting negative effects.
If the friend who turned against you spread rumors or bad-mouthed you to others, try to do something about it.There is a chance that people won't listen if you try to defend yourself or explain your side of the story.Actions speak louder than words and may help you repair your reputation faster.Use positive actions to show those around you the rumors are not true, instead of wasting time trying to talk your way out of a rumor.If people call you a cheat, try to be transparent about your daily operations.
Step 8: Do you confront the person or not?
Sometimes you need to say something and sometimes you can just let it go.If a response is necessary, use your judgement of your friend and the situation.There are positive and negative consequences to confronting someone who hurts you.You won't have a chance to hear the person's side of the story if you just drop him as a friend.You can express how you feel.The person may become abusive, leading to more hurt feelings.If something happened between you and your friend that seems out of character, this might be a good time to let things go.If you know the friend is going through a difficult time, this will be even truer.Say something like "I heard you told our boss I cheated on the project" if you decide to address the issue.I am hurt by the accusations.I was fair and square.I want to know why you said that.
Step 9: If you want to repair the friendship, you have to determine.
The process is tied to how much value you place in the relationship.If you want to fight for this friendship, you need to take a close look at it.It might be easier to walk away if the friend is not close to you.If this is a friendship that you value, you should find a way to address the issue in a constructive and firm way.The friendship may not recover even if it is a friendship you really value.You have to be certain that the friend is responsible before you take matters into your own hands.Before ending the friendship, you should gather evidence that supports your findings.If there is talk that your best friend is having an affair with your significant other, you would want to be absolutely certain before making an accusation.
Step 10: If you don't want the friendship to continue, Mend it.
Recommendations can be made for how the person can prove her loyalty again.Look at what made your friend turn on you.Did your friend lie about the credit for your work because she was jealous of you?If you compliment it, you will create an opportunity for the friend to acknowledge your work.Let your friend know that you don't take forgiveness lightly.I want to move on from this situation and forgive you.If this happens again, I may not be able to continue the friendship because you hurt me.If you have clear boundaries with your friend, he or she will understand why you are putting something behind you.She should be aware that there is no chance for her to let it happen again.If this was a work project, use a new system of dividing the work so each team member has his or her own part.If the issue came up at home, change the level of access this friend has to your home so there isn't a way for this to happen again.
Step 11: Don't think about your own behavior.
If you want to attract more friends, you need to be a better friend.You can learn from the healthy friends you have.If you don't allow yourself to get caught up in drama at work or at home, you will be a better person.Let go of bad relationships.Do not get caught up in a circle of people doing bad things.If they cannot trust you, you won't find friends that are trustworthy.Do it when you say you will.Follow through with your plans if you make them with others.Small acts of kindness can help you build trustworthiness.
Step 12: It's a good idea to think about the type of friends you tend to make.
You are the only thing you have control over.You have to decide who gets space in your life and how you react to them.You don't have to be friendly with someone just because you were friends as a child or you work in the same office.Competition at work can make work friends harder to trust, so make clear boundaries about not bringing work home.You don't have to be friends with co-workers if they are having problems at work.If you make friends in other settings, the same goes for them.Is there a positive influence on these people?Are they using you?Look at the types of friends you have.If you are making smart, healthy choices in your relationships, it is a good idea to reexamine your friends.
Step 13: Don't compromise your values for friends.
To keep certain friends, hiding things about yourself or your family.It's possible that you can't always depend on certain friends to be consistent.It isn't a good idea to lose a friendship because you need to focus on family.Ignore the actions of a friend in the name of friendship.You have the right to stand up for what you believe.If a friend does something you feel is wrong or violates the law, you should not be pressured to look the other way.