We have to interact with a wide variety of people.Some of them are easy to get along with, but others are more challenging.Sometimes we have to get along with people even though we don't like them.You can get along with everyone if you have the right attitude and social skills.You never know who might end up being a future friend if you are positive and polite.
Step 1: It's important to have a positive outlook.
People with a positive attitude are seen as more attractive.More people will like you if you cultivate this outlook in your life.It can be learned through practice if this doesn't come naturally to you.Be aware of smiling more.Accept praise with humility and gratitude.If you find yourself thinking negatively about people or situations, try to think of a positive characteristic that will make you feel better.
Step 2: It's important to respect differences between people.
Accepting that people are different from you is part of having a positive attitude.Whether the difference is in behavior, culture, or opinion, remember that they make life more interesting.It's easy to think that other people would be happier if they were more like me, but remember that most people are happy being who they are, and that all people aren't made happy by the same exact things.Spending time with friends might make you happy, while spending time alone might not.
Step 3: Understand other people's perspectives.
Try to put yourself in the shoes of people who are difficult to understand or relate to.There are at least two sides to every story.If you conflict with your own perspective, make a genuine effort to see how other people think.It will be less likely to have nasty conflicts if you have an open mind.
Step 4: Know your own feelings.
Pet peeves are things that bother us when other people do them.Think about what you have.Not everyone feels the same about these things.When these things come up, make plans to deal with them.Does it make you crazy when people whistle?It is possible to get along better with others if you practice a polite response to these behaviors.Would it be okay if I asked you to stop whistling?It's not an offense, but it really drives me crazy after a while.
Step 5: Be positive.
It's easier to get along when you enter conversations with a good attitude.To the extent that you are able, smile and talk about positive things.If your best friend has died, you don't need to fake happiness, but try not to burden others with your problems.If someone asks how you are, and you've just gotten in from a long, difficult commute, try to think of something good that happened that day that you can tell him or her about.
Step 6: You should take an interest in other people.
When interacting with others, don't just talk about yourself.Ask questions about what they have to say.This will make other people feel appreciated.You should be a good listener.People want to know that what they say is heard.People will enjoy talking to you more and conflict will be reduced in your day-to-day conversations.
Step 7: Be kind and respectful.
When talking to other people, be careful of their feelings.Don't make others feel bad with mean-spirited jokes.At the start of a conversation, compliment others.It's important to start a conversation with some flattery.
Step 8: Match the pace of other people.
People move through life at a different pace than others.It's easy to think that your own pace is the "natural" one, but try to match the pace of other people.If someone talks slowly and quietly, don't talk loudly and fast.It will be more comfortable for the other person to talk to you.
Step 9: You should focus on your similarities.
It is important to respect people's differences, but it is also good to remember what you have in common with others.Conversation will be easier for both of you.At both the individual and cultural level, this works.Looking for similarities is a good way to bridge the gap between cultures.If you meet someone with conflicting political or religious beliefs, but you both like baseball and dogs, focus the conversation on the two, at least until you get to know the other person better.
Step 10: Don't promise you will keep it.
It's a good idea to make promises you can't live up to.It can be difficult to say no to people, especially when you want to get along with everyone, but there are ways to do it.It's part of communicating assertively.It is possible to build resentment if you promise to do something but don't have time for it.The other person may not trust you if you don't follow through or do a bad job.It's better to say no if you don't want to do something.You are simply refusing a request if you say no."No, I can't do that" is what you can say without an explanation.Try saying no while acknowledging the sentiment behind the request, such as: "I know you really want to go for a hike this afternoon, but I can't today."If you have to say no to something you want to do, but don't have time for it, you might ask, "Is there another time you'd like to go?"
Step 11: Keep it short.
One of the best ways to get along with difficult people is to not spend a lot of time with them.The less time you spend with someone, the less likely you are to have a conflict.When you find someone hard to get along with, have an exit strategy.This could be making plans to be somewhere else, or excusing yourself for some reason.It's good to know how to politely limit conversation with someone who talks too much.Say "Thanks!" if you have to deal with someone who offers lengthy and unvarnished advice.I didn't think of that!You can say, "That's great, I'm really happy for you" for someone who brags a lot.
Step 12: Don't let your guard down.
To avoid getting angry, try to get along with someone who is frustrating.Count to ten in your head and take some deep breaths.Try to stay calm and not get into a fight.
Step 13: Arguments and difficult topics can be avoided.
If there are topics you know will lead to conflict, try to avoid them.Don't bring up the election if you and your brother-in-law fight about politics.Do your best to steer the conversation away from those topics.Don't be sucked into an argument if one of these topics comes up."Well, you know we don't feel the same about that issue, and then try to move the conversation on to something else."You can say, "Let's talk about something else."
Step 14: Listen to it.
When someone is talking to you, don't judge what she is saying or thinking, just listen to what the person is actually saying.Keep in mind that what the person is saying is a reflection of her perspective, which may be very different from yours.Even if you disagree with her points of view, she is still a good person.Being judgmental and defensive will keep you from learning why she thinks that way.In an appropriate and kind way, respond when the person is done speaking.I can't believe you think that.What is wrong with you?I've had a different experience with that.Can I tell you about it?I'm interested to know what makes you think that.
Step 15: Accept criticism.
If someone is critical of you, try to keep it simple.Depending on how you feel about the information, you can either use it or not.Don't take criticism personally.It is just as much a reflection of the other person's viewpoint as it is of you.
Step 16: Measure your criticism of others.
It's not possible to avoid conflict in professional situations.If you supervise others at work, it is necessary to criticize them.To avoid personal offense, make your criticisms tactful.Don't focus on the person.Critique what he is doing that you don't like rather than attacking someone's personal characteristics.The risk of hurt feelings or conflict can be minimized by this.Don't say "You are bad at planning ahead.""I wish you would think ahead more when we have deadlines coming up."Point to concrete improvements that you would like to see.It was hard for me in the meeting last week when you didn't have the reports ready that you had promised.If there is a problem in the future, I can help you get them ready.It's called the "compliment sandwich."Start by talking about one of the person's strengths and end with a positive statement.
Step 17: It should be logical.
Do your best to keep it fact-based when interacting with difficult people.It will be harder for an argument to start if you get emotional.
Step 18: It's time to release your stress.
Do what you can to let go of stress after an interaction with a difficult person.Go for a run, listen to your favorite music, punch a pillow, or whatever works for you.If you don't direct your frustration at others, you'll get along better with people.