Is it frustrating that your kids are grown up and old enough to be self-sufficient, yet they're still living with you?Is it starting to feel like a hotel?It's time for one or more of your children to leave the nest, but they refuse to spread their wings.
Step 1: As possible, assess the situation objectively.
If you are a parent, you might have mixed feelings about encouraging your child to leave.On the other hand, if you enjoy the company, you might want them to struggle on their own, or you don't want to feel like you're kicking anyone out.If you don't take action, your child might never become self-sufficient.Before you talk to your child, it's important to sort through your feelings.
Step 2: List the reasons you want your child to leave.
Don't allow guilt to make you feel uncomfortable if you confront any ways in which your child lives at home.There are some obvious reasons, such as if your child disrespects your privacy.The fact that you seem to be the one who ends up doing their laundry is one of the reasons.Is there a real reason your child can't live on their own?Sometimes a parent will not push a child out of the house if they think the child doesn't have the resources to live on their own.The child can be independent, but it will require some downgrading, like moving from a house to a bare-bones apartment with roommates.If you decide this is the case, you should allow your child to stay because you want to comfort them.
Step 3: Don't snoop.
It's bad that your child feels like he can't live out there as an individual without parents showing a lot of distrust.You should not go through your child's belongings.You're all adults, so ask what you want to know.
Step 4: Show your support for a united front.
One parent may want their child to leave and the other may be against it.You have to be on the same page before you can push your child towards independence.You can see how to compromise with your spouse.
Step 5: If your child wants to leave, ask.
A lot will be revealed about why your child is still living at home when you ask this simple question.The answer will usually include a list of reasons why it can't happen at the moment.Evaluate those reasons objectively, keeping in mind that there are probably other reasons, such as being able to use your car without having to make car or insurance payments, that your child hasn't verbalized.You want to address the verbalized reasons one by one, with facts: "I'm looking for a job."Is that true?How often do they check out job sites?Are they volunteering so that they can make contacts and account for any gaps in their resume?Are they looking for a job or a perfect job?Are they unwilling to work a minimum wage job until they find something better?I can't afford a place.Is it that your child can't afford a place that is as comfortable as yours?One of the benefits of having a successful career is living in a nice neighborhood.Where do other young adults live?Does your child think they're too good to live there?Do you think they're too good to live there?I want to save for a house, car, grad school, etc.Only if your child is accountable to it is this the most legitimate reason to stay at home.How much have they saved?What is the ultimate goal?Is their savings pattern dependent on how many good movies or video games are out that week?It's good if they can show that saving money is a priority.Don't take your kid's word for it.If you want to stay home and get a free ride, you should be able to see your pay stubs and bank statements.To establish a new adult-to-adult relationship, you need to develop some strategies.
Step 6: Set a deadline if you think your child is ready to leave.
Inform the child that the deadline stands or rent begins, along with associated requirements for paying a share of the water, electricity bill, heating costs, service costs and more.Being forced to chip in can make living on your own seem more viable.Your child should make a plan.Get a job, save money, look for an apartment, and so on.Start marking off the days with great show by picking up boxes and getting a calendar.
Step 7: Go over what the adult child will not take with them when it's close to the date.
Furniture, bedding, etc.
Step 8: Get serious if the deadline passes.
Send bills and payment demands.Start cutting off services if these aren't met.
Step 9: Rent for their room will be charged if they make up another excuse about why they aren't ready to leave.
They are not likely to be comfortable paying rent for a room.They will want to leave fast because of this.