It has been a long time coming.You love him.He is in love with you.There hasn't been a magic moment yet.How can you get him to propose?Follow these steps to find out.
Step 1: He needs to be ready for the commitment.
It doesn't mean that he's ready to marry you, even if you've been together for over a year.Some men want to get married eventually, but only if they are ready.The concept of "Ready" is complicated and often involves a feeling that he has played the field, had adventure, was financially stable, is mature and ready to settle down.You shouldn't ignore him and force him to do something that he's not ready for.If he calls you his girlfriend, see if he's committed to you.This could mean moving in with you, sharing a pet, moving to a new location, or even putting himself in the same social circle as you.Do you know if he's had other relationships?If he's had significant dating experience before, you shouldn't be jealous, but you should be aware that he is more interested in seeing what else is out there than in playing the field.
Step 2: Make sure it's the right time for him.
Many couples who got engaged after just a year or two can have marriages that are just as successful as those who waited five or ten years to get married.It doesn't matter how long you've been together if it's not the right time.If he's still trying to figure out his career, if all of his buddies are still single and not really dating, or if he still has a lot of personal issues to sort out, then it may not be the best thing for him to marry you.His mind may be on other things if he's not feeling stable personally, financially, or physically.There is no perfect time to get married.There may be bigger problems if it hasn't felt like the right time in the past.
Step 3: He can't see a future without you.
If you want to get your long term boyfriend to propose, you should make sure that he can't imagine his life without you.You've been together for three years, but does that mean he wants to be with you for thirty?When he talks about the future, he starts with "We..." and if he mentions moving to a new place or starting a family with you, then he's probably thinking of you forever.If he never talks about what will happen even six months down the line, even if you're planning to attend a wedding together, or if he's spending a summer studying abroad, then he may be trying to avoid the issue.
Step 4: Get to know his views on marriage.
Some men are very nonchalant about marriage, but they would be fine with not getting married.If this is the case, don't expect him to be as enthusiastic about marriage as you are, and accept that it's something he'd be doing mostly because you want to.To get the wedding of your dreams, you will have to do a lot of nudging.It's possible that he doesn't want to get married to anyone.It's pretty much impossible to get a guy who doesn't believe in marriage to propose to you.
Step 5: Marriage should be brought up casually.
To build your way up to talking about your own marriage, you should start by being subtle.It's a good idea to start a conversation about marriage that doesn't involve your marriage.Mention someone else who got married or engaged recently, or make a comment on an engagement commercial, for example.It's a good idea to start things with confusion or mild criticism.You can say, "A co-worker just got back from his honeymoon."You know where they went?To the beach.We go to the beach about once a month and it's so close by.I would want to go somewhere new and exotic on my honeymoon.Wouldn't you?Can you believe John proposed to Marla on a Ferris wheel?I think that's great for them, but I want something a little different.
Step 6: Discuss your future with each other.
Don't say, "I'm so excited to have so many kids with you!"If you're married or not, start making comments about being together in the future.If he doesn't respond to the indirect approach, start making it more direct with phrases like "if we stay together" and " if we live together."When you talk about the future, watch his reaction.If he carries that conversation on or avoids it.He needs time to sort out his thoughts, even though this may have been on his mind for a long time.He won't have his answer prepared.
Step 7: You can plan a romantic trip.
It's time for you to go on vacation if you think your man has been waiting for the perfect time to make the right move.To give your man time to think of it as a potential place to propose, make sure that you plan it far away, at least two or three months.Wait for him to figure out how it would be the perfect proposal destination and don't mention anything about it.He won't feel like you're putting pressure on him if you mention that it would be a great place to get engaged.Even if he doesn't propose, seeing you in a romantic setting will make his mind up.
Step 8: Comment that the ring isn't important to you.
If you don't want an expensive ring, casually mention it in a conversation.This is an important point.Many men don't propose because they're not sure what kind of ring their woman wants and what her ring size is.Many more men don't propose because they're not ready to shell out thousands of dollars for a diamond ring and think it will take them forever to save up for it.If you don't want a fancy ring, or even a ring at all, then you can mention it in a subtle way so that he knows it's not a factor in his proposal plans.Mentioning someone else's ring is a good way to discuss your thoughts on the ring.Did you see that rock Rick gave to her?She didn't fall over with that thing on her hand.I don't want a ring like that, I want it to be small and simple.
Step 9: Tell us about your idea of a perfect wedding.
Mention that you don't want an expensive wedding.Though a proposal does not mean an immediate wedding, many men are deterred from proposing because they are worried that they won't be able to afford an expensive wedding.You should mention this if you planned on having a small wedding in the park with 50 of your closest friends and family and a casual dress code.Though this shouldn't be a factor in a man's decision to marry you for life, it does deter men from getting the ball rolling on the whole marriage thing.Is it possible to blame them?
Step 10: He should see you as wife material.
You should allow him to see you as wife material, as the woman who will be his lifelong partner and possibly the mother of his children, because he may think you're a ton of fun or a sex kitten.Show him that you would make a great wife and a fun girlfriend.Let him know that you're independent and career-oriented while also knowing how to take care of him when he's sick, decorate your home and cook a healthy meal.If you want him to see you as a wife, your relationship should be positive most of the time.He won't think you're ready for marriage if you spend most of your time fighting or crying.You're ready to move towards marriage if he sees that you have your act together on your own.He won't want to propose until you get married.
Step 11: Address his concerns.
If you've talked about marriage openly, he can see that he has nothing to fear.He might be worried that once you get married, you'll change and end up in a comfort zone.Is he worried that he will be pressured to start a family right away after tying the knot?It could be that he doesn't fit in as a husband because of his current self- image.Some creative compromises can be made if he's just worried about the ring or the wedding.Can you live without a ring if he can't afford it?Eloping or having a small, private ceremony if he doesn't want a big wedding?If he's afraid that marriage will take the luster out of your relationship, have some go-to happily married couples that you both admire.
Step 12: An argument can be made for getting married.
If he's a logical thinker, appeal to that part of his brain.There are some benefits to getting married, even though it isn't the most romantic approach.Being eligible for more government benefits, filing joint income tax returns and putting your significant other on your insurance plan are some of the practical and legal benefits of marriage.If you die suddenly, marriage is an effective way to make sure your mate is taken care of.If you are not married and one of you dies, the other will not inherit anything unless it is spelled out in a will.Even if it is, there will be estate and gift taxes.Wages, workers' compensation, and retirement plan benefits can be received if you are married.If you've been together for fifteen years and aren't married, it's something to consider.
Step 13: If he doesn't marry you, make him see what he will miss.
If he says he needs some time to himself to figure out if he wants to marry you or not, then let him have that time.If you make it clear that you're not waiting around forever for him to make the move, any man would be lucky to marry you.If you've invested a lot of time and love into the relationship and he still doesn't know what he wants, you should let him know that you have your limits.
Step 14: Propose to yourself.
It's the 21st century and you can take the matter into your own hands if you think the time is right for you to get married.If you've been waiting a long time and you know that the only thing holding your man back is the proposal, then ask him to marry you.
Step 15: Don't bring up marriage talks.
If you mentioned wanting to get married once, it will burn into his brain.The more you talk about it, the less he hears it.If you're the one who always brings it up and the word "marriage" never comes out of his mouth, then you should take it easy for a while.
Step 16: Tell your family and friends to zip it.
It will make him feel ganged up on if you casually slip in marriage comments to him.You can let him make the decision on his own.
Step 17: Don't give him an ultimatum.
Giving your man an ultimatum -- "Marry me or it's over" -- will make him feel too much pressure and won't force him to propose any faster."Propose in the next two months or it's over" will deter him from doing so.If you really feel like you've been waiting for him for a long time and think he's ready, then let him know without making a statement.
Step 18: Don't put pressure on him.
If you've only been with your boyfriend for a few months, or have been together longer than that, be honest with yourself.If he's not ready, you shouldn't try to get him to marry you.Doing this too early in the relationship can cause it to end quicker than you can say, "I do."If your friends are getting ready or you can't wait to try on a wedding dress, then you should talk about it on your second date.
Step 19: Don't be desperate.
Many magazines make you think that if you want your man to fall in love with you, all you have to do is cook a five-course meal in a pair of hot high heels, stay up late to pick him up when he's on a bender.This won't make him upgrade you to wife status.If women are only doing it because they think it will make him more likely to propose, men are more interested in women who are confident and independent.