Lawyers have their own way of doing things, and if you are dating or plan to date one, you will need to make some adjustments in your life.You can have a long, happy relationship if you are flexible, open to spirited debate, and intent on maintaining your independence.
Step 1: Show support when dates are canceled.
Sometimes lawyers have to work late into the night.If they have to cancel a dinner date, let them know that you understand their situation.Say something like, "I know it's not up to you."Reschedule for this weekend!
Step 2: When dates fall through, make a backup plan.
If you have a backup plan for how to spend your evening, you will be less likely to resent your lawyer after a canceled date.Call a friend and see if they can come over with pizza or a last-minute cocktail.If you can't find someone to buy you something, go shopping for yourself, like new shoes or a book you've been wanting to read.
Step 3: They should be surprised at work.
Pick up food from their favorite restaurant and bring it to their office if they have to work late.Make sure their boss doesn't mind if you stay and eat.Extra time together will allow them to stay on top of things at work.
Step 4: You can plan fun weekend outings.
Lawyers like to go out and have fun on the weekend because they spend so much time at work.Instead of just staying in and watching TV, plan to visit street festivals, go to museums, have picnics in the park, see movies, and try new restaurants.Weekend dates may be canceled if they have a heavy workload.Don't put non-refundable deposits down on activities.
Step 5: Attend the formal parties.
Lawyers have to attend a lot of formal events.Try to attend as many of these as possible to show your support for their career.They are likely trying to make a good impression with their boss, so don't bug them to leave early.You don't have to wear the same dress or suit to every event if you build out your wardrobe with lots of formal wear.If you can't afford a new dress, Rent the Runway is a good option.
Step 6: Take part in debates with them.
Lawyers argue a lot, and this isn't limited to the workplace.If they disagree with you on an issue, don't take it personally.Stand firm and argue your side.Cite reliable sources, offer statistics, and be as objective as possible.Don't worry, they have a law degree.You should be comfortable discussing a wide range of topics if you are confident in your knowledge and intelligence.
Step 7: The boundaries should be set for sensitive topics.
Politics, religion, or family issues are topics that are off-limits.If you are happy to debate anything, then great!If you just want to avoid a subject, be honest.If something makes you uncomfortable, your date should respect your wishes.
Step 8: Discuss work on dates with a rule.
Decide if you will discuss work on dates or not.If work is kept out of the relationship, some couples do better than others.By the first or second date, you will both be on the same page about it.You could say, "Work stresses me out too much."Is it possible to leave any work-talk behind when we go out?
Step 9: Understand some legal terms.
Lawyers have their own language and may use it when talking about work.If you don't want to constantly ask what they mean, learn some common legal terms and even some of the basics of Latin.You can check out a couple beginner's Latin books at the library.There are some examples of legalese.
Step 10: Define the relationship.
Lawyers like facts.Come out and say how you feel about the relationship and where you see it going.They might not articulate their feelings in a romantic way, but they will appreciate your honesty, and will probably be straightforward with you as well.You could say after a first date that you enjoyed it.When will you be free again?Say, "I like what we have, and I'm not interested in seeing anyone else." after a few dates.
Step 11: Speak up if you are hurt.
Missed dates, stress, and late nights are part of the job for them, so let go of disappointment as often as possible.Let them know if you are hurt by something.Try saying "I was really hurt by that comment" or "That was a really important date to me, and I'm disappointed you missed it" instead of starting sentences with "You always..."
Step 12: You can embrace your career or hobby.
An attorney is going to be happier dating someone who is just as passionate about their career as they are.Instead of waiting for the phone to ring, figure out what you enjoy and devote more time to it.Stay later at work if you love your job.Extra time after work should be spent painting or running.
Step 13: Sometimes you should make them wait for you.
Your date does not dump work the minute you snap your fingers, so don't do the same thing every time.Don't cancel other plans just because your date is free.If they call, don't keep your phone on you.
Step 14: You can invite them to your own events.
They may not always be able to attend your work functions or family events, but you should extend the invitation as often as possible to show that you have a lot going on too.You can invite them to birthday parties, art shows, work dinners, or volunteer projects.
Step 15: You should go out with friends who aren't lawyers.
You should not fall into the trap of only hanging out with your significant other and their friends.If you don't have your own friends to hang out with after work, you'll find yourself alone a lot.Meeting up for dinner once or twice a month is a way to maintain old friends.