There are many reasons why you might decide to become the other woman in a relationship, but be sure to consider the potential consequences, both for his wife and family and also for your own emotional health.If you start an affair, be discreet by avoiding public places where you might be seen, and never post photos of your relationship on social media.Special weekends away and being together in the moment for however long you have will keep things fresh and fun.
Step 1: Know your role in his life and have clear expectations.
You will not be his number one priority from the beginning.If you want him to eventually leave his wife, you might want to reexamine your motives for being his mistress.You can have an enjoyable affair for much longer if you keep things clear from the beginning.Let him know that you don't expect him to be your boyfriend and that your main interest is having fun when the relationship starts.
Step 2: It's important that you're comfortable having a secret relationship.
It is likely that your lover will have to be a secret from your friends and family, too, if you want to become a mistress.No cute couples photos, few outdoor activities, and keeping your own life to yourself is what this means.There is no chance of the relationship getting serious because you want to have fun.It could save you a lot of pain and frustration if you adopt the right mindset at the beginning.
Step 3: If he has any, think about the implications for his wife and children.
Chances are that you have thought about this already, but you need to check in with your gut.Think about the implications of your relationship on his wife and family when you are concerned about it.Will you be resentful of him?Will it change the way you view yourself?If you feel comfortable with your decision, it won't affect you in the future.There isn't a hard and fast rule to tell you to stop or proceed with this relationship, it's a decision you'll have to make for yourself.
Step 4: Other meaningful relationships and hobbies can be cultivated.
Being the mistress means that you won't have a go-to date for special events and you might spend holidays and special occasions alone.If you want your life to be full and fun, be prepared for this inevitability and have friends.It is great if you have hobbies and other things that you are invested in.Being a mistress could allow you to focus on other relationships, career, personal improvement, or health goals, while still satisfying some of your needs.
Step 5: You should check in with yourself.
Staying in tune with your feelings, needs, and desires is important.It's time to end the affair if you're becoming bored or resentful.If you want to be your lover's new wife, you might be setting yourself up for disappointment.If you put your own needs first, you will be able to protect yourself emotionally.It is possible to have a romantic relationship with someone other than your partner.You deserve that kind of out-in-the-open relationship if you meet someone you would like to date.
Step 6: Don't go to places where he's with his friends and family.
Staying out of sight is one of the keys to not being caught.You know where he lives, where his family goes to school, and other intimate details.If you are meeting him in public, avoid those areas.If you see him in public with his family, ignore him.Keep things short, polite, and professional if you have to interact.
Step 7: His home, car, and other personal spaces should be kept out of your possession.
A lot of people have affairs because the wife finds things that don't belong to her, like lingerie, jewelry, makeup, or other clothing items.Double-check that you don't leave anything behind if you rendezvous in a mutual location by keeping all of your stuff at your place or purse.Don't send gifts to his home address or office.Give him things in person so he doesn't get caught up in someone else.
Step 8: When he is with his family, don't text or call him.
If you want your affair to go smoothly, you have to respect his boundaries and family time.Potentially exposing the affair by contacting him when he's at home could make him resent you and end the relationship, and at the very least, it will make your next couple of interactions pretty tense.You need to allow him to control the amount of contact in the relationship.Get a second phone for you to use to contact him.His wife will definitely know that something is going on if she finds it.
Step 9: If you want to tell others about your relationship, use a code name.
Keeping quiet about your relationship is the best way to ensure it stays a secret, but if you want to talk about it, avoid using his real name or other identifying details.If you are willing to lie and keep track of your stories, your friends will be more interested in them.If you tell friends or family that you are a mistress, be prepared for some serious feedback.If you want to have those conversations with people you love, think carefully. people might not be supportive of your choices.
Step 10: You shouldn't post about the relationship on social media.
If you think you are being vague and secretive, someone will eventually notice and figure out what is going on.It is a good idea to keep your love life off the internet.You won't be able to share photos of the flowers he sent, the trip you took together, or the meal you cooked.
Step 11: It's a good idea to take weekend trips out of town.
If you want some quality alone time without the worry of being seen in public, go away together.You will like going to a new place for some one-on-one time.Depending on his schedule with work and his family, you won't be able to take these trips often.If you can manage it, try to take a trip once every couple of months.
Step 12: Do fun activities together and keep things drama-free.
On a day-to-day basis, you may only be able to do what you can at home or a secondary location.You can have a good time, though!If you are looking for something to do that is a little out of the ordinary, consider cooking a meal together instead of getting takeout or scheduling a couples massage as a romantic gesture.You can have an affair for years or it can be over in a few months.Instead of worrying about what might happen in the future, commit to enjoying yourself as much as possible and focus on the present.
Step 13: He should not make comments about his relationship with his wife.
He should not make negative comments or compare himself to her if he complains about his home life.Try to focus on the present moment.It could be a good idea to say something like, "You don't have to spend time with her right now; let's enjoy our evening together!"
Step 14: You don't want to come off as needy if he contacts you.
It's best to get possessive and jealous.He has a separate life that he has to participate in.If you don't bombard him with messages about how you want to spend more time together, your time will be more enjoyable.He will want you more if you are less clingy.Maintaining a casual and nonchalant demeanor could make him chase you harder.