It isn't impossible to be assertive in your relationships.It's possible that you're having trouble with your partner, friends, or coworkers.By determining your own beliefs and opinions, accepting the validity of these opinions and becoming more active in expressing them, you can become more assertive in all types of relationships.
Step 1: Start small.
Start small if you're worried about changing too much in your relationship.Don't change everything overnight, be more assertive about a little at a time.Doing it that way can cause confusion with your partner.When you go out, be more vocal about what you want to eat.Don't let your partner dictate what you say.Suggest a different type of food in a calm and positive way.
Step 2: The opinions you have about the relationship are valid.
If you think your partner may leave you, you may avoid being assertive.This should not make you feel like your opinions don't matter.Your partner should be willing to discuss your feelings about your relationship with you.All aspects of your life should be expanded to build up your belief in yourself.Tell yourself that your opinion is valid when you have an opinion about a situation.Every time your thoughts and feelings come up, tell yourself that they are valid.You will feel more confident expressing them once you believe they are valid.If you want to express your feelings about your relationship, give yourself a pep talk.Tell yourself that your opinion is valid.My opinion will not change if my partner loves me.Your relationship dynamic needs to be reexamined if your partner can't handle you having an opinion or feeling about your relationship.When discussing your feelings with your partner, make sure you are not aggressive or passive.Express your feelings in a way that is positive and not accusatory.
Step 3: Let go of the guilt.
If you've spent most of your relationship being a people pleaser, you may feel some guilt when you start asserting yourself.This is a common reaction and may cause you some distress.You need to know that you don't have to feel guilty about expressing yourself.Take a deep breath if you find it hard at first.Imagine breathing in peace, calm, and strength and then breathing out guilt, shame, or anxiety.You may feel guilt the first time you tell your partner that you don't like fishing because you used to do it a lot.Your opinion on the matter is valid.If you have expressed yourself to your partner, they can go fishing with friends or go alone.
Step 4: You should say your statements in the right way.
Make sure you are saying the right things when approaching your partner.You don't want to come off angry or accusatory; instead, you would like to express how you feel and what you think.Instead of telling your partner, you could say, "I could really use some help around the house/apartment and with taking care of the dogs."The last statement is the same as the first one, but it is more positive and calm.
Step 5: Know when it is okay to be quiet.
Being assertive doesn't mean you always let something go.When you don't get what you want in a relationship, it's because of compromise.This doesn't mean you're not assertive, but you are taking your partner's feelings into account.If the situation is not going to hurt or help your relationship, you don't have to be right all the time.You don't have to make your partner like or identify with the same person if you disagree about politics or sports.Agree that you have a difference of opinion and don't let it affect your relationship by arguing or being angry about it.It's only fair to do the same because this is what you expect of your partner.You will learn more about what you want from your partner when you are assertive more often.This way, you will know when you are comfortable and when not.
Step 6: Don't be emotional.
Romantic relationships are tied to your feelings.Try to remove yourself from your emotions when you are learning to be assertive.You don't want them to make you aggressive or passive.Try to think about your relationship with an even mind.Take a few deep breaths and think about how you can remove your emotions from the situation.If this doesn't work, take a break from the conversation or wait until you have calmed down before talking to your partner.This will prevent you from hurting your partner's feelings.
Step 7: Don't say no.
It is possible that you will say yes to every suggestion that your friends make.If you run into a situation where you don't want to be or your friend asks something of you that you are not willing to give, do not say yes.Say no in a positive way.Being assertive doesn't mean you are being nice, it just means that you're giving your valid, respectful opinion in the situationIf your friend wants to go see a movie that you really don't want to see, calmly tell them, "No, I'm not interested in seeing this movie." You can even suggest a different option or another activity in its place.It would be possible to spend time together but also do something that everyone wants to do.
Step 8: You should be direct.
Be direct when you are assertive with your partner.Don't talk about what you are feeling.Being explicit in your feelings and wishes is part of being assertive.Don't be accusatory or vague about what you want.Say to your friend, "I would like to go to this pub that has trivia" instead of "Wouldn't you rather go somewhere more fun?".
Step 9: Don't be upset with disagreeing.
There may be a difference of opinion between you and your friends.This does not mean that you can no longer be friends or that your opinions are not valid.It just means that you don't agree with something.There is no one person like you in a friendship.Your friendship is interesting and fun because of the differences.Don't let them get in the way of your friendship.It is okay to disagree, but you should express your opinion in a valid way.If you both express your opinions in a calm, positive, and assertive manner, the same is true for your friend's opinion.If you find yourself in a situation where you don't agree with your friend, tell them that you respect their opinion.Let's agree to disagree and keep going.
Step 10: Determine what you expect from other people.
To be honest with your friends, you need to know what you want and expect from them.What you need in a friendship, what you expect your friends to do, and how you want to act are some of the things that need to be assessed.Make a list of the qualities you like in a friend.Think about the things that would mean the most to you as a friendship.This will show you how to ask for things from your friends.You can communicate what you expect from your friend in a calm, positive way if you understand what they are expecting.Once you and your friends are on the same page, this will help improve your friendship.
Step 11: Approach your coworkers in a friendly way.
Being assertive doesn't mean you are aggressive or mean.Being proactive about your opinions and beliefs is one of the main characteristics of being assertive.When dealing with your coworkers, always approach situations with a calm and positive manner.If you are upset about a performance review, approach your supervisor with a calm and level head.If you want to express your concerns in a relaxed manner, think about what you would like to address about the review.If you don't act out, your boss will be more likely to take you seriously.I would like to discuss my recent review with you.I would like to address some of the inconsistencies.Don't yell, show anger, or avoid the situation.Being overly aggressive will not make your boss take you seriously and avoiding the situation will only reflect negatively on you.Don't raise your voice, look your boss in the eye, and avoid crossing your arms when you discuss the situation.
Step 12: Have faith in your abilities.
One of the best ways to be assertive is to have faith in your ideas.You will never speak up with your ideas if you don't believe in yourself.When a proper time arises, try to express more of your ideas at the office.If you have a great idea for a future project or a story you would like to write, speak up in a positive, calm manner during the meeting.Have faith in your abilities and ideas.Make sure your ideas are prepared and fully thought out.
Step 13: Practice listening.
Being assertive involves making informed comments, decisions, and suggestions.You need to listen to people around you.Don't interrupt or belittle coworker's comments when they are expressing their opinionsTry to understand your coworker's point of view.Listening and trying to understand where your coworker is coming from is what this means.You can make an informed decision if you do this.
Step 14: I statements are used.
You need to tap into what you want when you are learning to be assertive.Your statements should reflect this.Instead of placing blame or being vague, use statements that begin with 'I' or that have that as a main component.Don't tell a coworker, "What if we changed distributors or vendors to save money on office supplies?"
Step 15: Be confident.
Don't be afraid to express your opinions with confidence.It will make you seem more assertive and you know what you're talking about.You need to make sure you aren't being arrogant.For example, go into your next meeting with great ideas that you say in a calm, even tone with an air of confidence and a positive or neutral facial expression.Your boss and coworkers are more likely to take you seriously.
Step 16: Stress can get to you.
Stress is one of the main reasons you may not be assertive at work.If you stress about the outcome of a situation where you have an opportunity to be assertive, you will lose that opportunity.Try not to stress about a situation.If you have a great idea for a project that you are working on with some coworkers, you should suggest it in a calm manner.Don't stress yourself out by thinking about it too much.
Step 17: Speak up about what's going on.
If you believe that you are being taken advantage of at work, you should speak up.You can make sense of how you are being treated.If you think your supervisor is treating you unfairly, calmly and rationally discuss it.You should have examples of the unfair treatment or abuse.In real life examples, this will make your case more solid.Try not to act irrationally in the face of these acts.This will make you look bad.Aggressive approach should always be used.