It can be difficult to change your perspective on popularity.Popularity means a lot to some people, especially those with a competitive nature who are always trying to get up the ladder.Is there a ladder?What are people going to do to get closer to being popular?Is it as good as it seems?Is it worth it?
Step 1: Understand
Friendly - The nice person who everyone wants to be friends with; this method of being popular easily becomes popular for being a people pleaser, and such a person is never far away.A funny person will always get you to smile.Even if they are depressed, they don't blame others or give others a hard time.These people are loved by the people around them.These are people who don't care who they hurt to get what they want.They will use a variety of methods to undermine any person who does not support their agenda.People who try to climb to the top will act like a Mean popular person without actually being popular.A queen is someone who is popular for acting far beyond their age, for example, dressing or acting like an 18 year old at the age of 12.The Snob tends to be bratty, rude and inconsiderate of anyone they don't feel is good enough for them, with a tendency to disdain anyone else's experience or lifestyle if they consider that they have had better experiences.This type is popular.It could be due to wealth, standing up for themselves all the time and not caring what others think, owning something others want, being related to someone famous, etc.This person may not initially "manipulate" their popularity, but if they get too caught up in it, there may be a temptation to abuse it for their own gain.It's up to you whether you think these categorizations fit with your world view or not, and you're free to add, subtract and change them in your own mapping of popularity.
Step 2: There are potential negatives of popularity.
Being popular makes some people feel more important and motivated to achieve things in life.If they don't use their popularity to hurt other people, that's a good thing.Popularity used for personal gain at the expense of other people's dignity is harmful and unkind.A negative style of being popular that doesn't endear the popular person to people through love is a result of pointless self-centered social climbing that results in harm to certain people.It's fear and dislike that cause people to do their bidding in order to avoid possible negative consequences, which is why such a person may feel that their popularity has people responding to them.It's not a good side of popularity.How much time you have with your friends is a big negative.If you're popular and everyone wants a minute with you, there won't be time to spend with your friends or yourself.Sometimes people who are too much in demand neglect themselves and end up lonely because they don't have time for their friends.As soon as you pick you up, acquaintances will drop you.When the wind blows against you, friends stand by you.People will be cruel and jealous.If you're perceived to be popular, you may be picked on for being snobbery because of who you like or not.It can get rough.
Step 3: Consider the popular person's tendency to judge others.
Judging is done without consideration for its impact or truthfulness.To judge someone means the same thing as criticizing, but it is more emotionally based and colored by one's personal biases.Many of the people who are popular (usually the "ladder climbers"), tend to judge others whom they don't consider to be as high as them on the social ladder, and they find them wanting according to their own value system.When a person doesn't fit the popular person's ideal of "the right kind of person to be seen with", they refuse to get to know the other person.How do you not judge people?It is important to know that saying the simplest brush-off such as "whatever" or giving someone looks can affect someone in the deepest way.It isn't a reason to find fault with other people if you feel frustrated or annoyed by someone else.We try not to deal with our own fault when we find fault with another.Don't judge before it gets worse, and always think before you act.When issuing a judgement on another person, be aware of your body language.You can give someone the impression that you're not paying attention to them by crossing your arms, giving bored or weirded-out facial expressions, picking fluff off your as they talk or seeming like you aren't listening.Try a smile and look at the person who is communicating in the eye instead of relying on these ways of interacting.If you don't want to spend more than a minute in their presence, be thoughtful when you respond to them and not make them feel bad about themselves.Making people feel valued is a much better way to be popular than belittling them.
Step 4: Treat everyone fairly.
Someone who is different in a bad way is not deserving of being pointed out.One example would be the different responses given to jokes or statements made by a popular person and by someone who isn't: A girl considered to be popular says a joke or a witty remark and everyone laughs.Everyone stares silently while a supposed "nerd" says the same thing.Why is it boring to ignore the "nerd" if it was funnier to laugh at the popular person?Why does everyone want this?The negative aspect of popularity results in skewed values when it is used to sing out someone for poor treatment.The popular person's power is being used unfairly by those who participate in this strange dichotomy.It's not fair to hang around with people who don't like you.Regardless of other people's interests and approaches to life, their preferences are as valid as your own.All it takes is to acknowledge the value of the other person and not abuse the differences for personal gain.
Step 5: Maintaining a "front" is related to the ills of conformity.
Being yourself during the height of popularity can be difficult.You'll feel pressured to change yourself to please others so that you don't stray from the norm, even though you're setting some of the trends.Conformity during popularity includes things like having to wear certain clothes, act in certain ways, say certain things and possibly even do things you're not meant to do.The number one rule in life is to be yourself, so when popular loses sight of this need, it becomes negative.After you've convinced yourself that this is the only way to get other people's interest in you, there is no going back.Think about how excited everyone is to change just to be able to sit in a big circle, gossip at the water cooler or have a date that everyone else has been waiting for?If you want to be slaves to other people's opinions and baying, you have to do what you think is right.In order to be popular, you have to amplify the less noble elements of society.It may shock you initially, but you may be surprised at how much popularity feeds off weaknesses and vices.
Step 6: Don't label people nerds, geeks or any other form of terminology that distinguishes them from the rest of the group.
It can lead to misery and tears, self consciousness and even depression if you label people.It's not ok to call people "losers" or "freaks" as you're trying to make them feel bad.It's not okay if a Hollywood actor uses the term in a film; you should be able to recognize acting for what it is and not excuse yourself as a copycat.Popularity through name-calling is cruel and mean.It does nothing for the name-caller's internal well-being and it ends up hurting others by being disrespectful of their worth.Feelings matter, so the popular person needs to think about the impact of name-calling beyond just establishing their own rank as a nasty.It is common for groups of people to be lumped together under a label in order to return derogatory terms to their original meaning.All the popular name-calling has done is to drive the "different" people together into a collective that is capable of turning around and responding with a big "so what".
Step 7: When popularity is only gained at the expense of others, is it worth it?
Isn't it better to have your own real friends who you can rely on and who say what you want without being mean to you?Sitting in a big circle or atop aladder won't always ensure that you're a good person and often the drive for maintaining popularity leaves you hollow within and unable to pursue your real self.Will you feel like a golden star through the good times if everyone backs you up?Will they allow you to sit with them at lunch?It's not always a good idea to hang out with a person who has a big house or have cool clothes.If you want to find someone who will always be there for you, be aware that most of the time, popularity isn't likely to bring you that.You won't always feel like you have a real friend when you're popular.You should be careful what you wish for.
Step 8: Being fake is the ultimate way to undermine yourself.
Popularity is fake, fleeting and ephemeral; what's worse is that everyone can see it even as they pretend to honor it.When the next best thing comes along, they're ready to change their loyalties.Think about it.Is this all real?Is it just a game?Think about the consequences to yourself and those you really care about in your life.Tell yourself what you think.Stand for what you believe in.
Step 9: Love who they are.
Being popular for the right reasons is hard because it isn't about shaping your world or pursuing certain ways of being.It's about respecting others as they are and engaging them with interest, compassion and love.It's likely you haven't tried it yet.Being attractive to people makes them feel attractive about themselves.Lift people's spirits and praise them, if you notice what others do and say."Love them in reality is the best way to make them think you love them," Jeremy said.The good news is that doing so will make you feel happier as well.