It can be difficult for a friend to deal with pain.This could be anything from a death of a family member to a failing grade in school.There are some things you can do to distract her from her pain and make her know that you're there for her.
Step 1: You should listen to your friend.
It's important to listen to someone who is hurting.Active listening shows that you care about your friend.intently listening is more valuable than any other gestureMake sure you don't distract yourself when you're listening.Don't check your phone or try to talk to other people.Make eye contact with her while she's speaking.You don't need to stare, but eye contact shows that you're paying attention.It's a good way to not be distracted.She can call you at any time of the day or night.Sometimes friends lean on you, other times they don't.Being a friend means being available when it's inconvenient.
Step 2: Questions can be open-ended.
Ask questions about your friend's experience instead of jumping in with your feelings.Ask your friend what she needs from you when she talks about her break-up."Are you sad?" was not asked.Consider asking "What emotions are you feeling?"Is there anything I can do to help?"
Step 3: You should spend time with your friend.
It's easy to want to be alone in a cave when people are sad.When social needs are met, humans function better.Mental and physical breakdown can be caused by too much isolation.Think about what you can do together.It will bring cheer to your friend if you engage in fun activities.Offer to hang out, watch a movie or eat together.It is beneficial to spend quality time together.
Step 4: Give people some physical comfort.
Touching can be used to convey the idea that your friend is safe with you and that you are there for them.It's a good idea to check in with your friend before giving her physical comfort.A hug is important and healing.A hug or a touch on her arm can send a signal that you are here for her and that she is okay.Encourage your friend to cuddle with her cat if she is uncomfortable with touch.Many people feel safe petting an animal.
Step 5: Don't sympathize, learn to empathise.
It's better to feel sorry for someone than it is for your friend.You want to know what your friend is going through and let her know that you're there for her.Mary lost her husband recently."Poor Mary" would be what sympathy would say.I am so sorry that you have lost your husband.Mary would be saying "Oh Mary, I feel your pain about losing your husband and how much you loved him."
Step 6: Make life simpler for her.
It can be hard to do basic activities when a friend is hurting.Let her know that you're here to help by taking on some of the tasks and making her life easier.You can help by cooking or cleaning the house.When someone is upset, housework can fall by the wayside.You can offer to drive her to a doctor's appointment.Think about ways to help your friend, and bring her some cheer.Don't assume that something will make her feel better, ask your friend how you can help.When you're there to help, don't make assumptions.
Step 7: Send her gifts.
Who doesn't like to receive a gift?It can help your friend remember that people care.It's not always possible to be present for your friend, but you can make sure she doesn't feel alone.Write a note to your friend telling them how much you care for her and bake her cookies.Send something that reminds you of her with a card.Send her a funny card, funny story, and pictures from a long time ago to make her laugh.Think about what makes your friend happy.
Step 8: Go for a stroll.
A change of scenery can help distract your friend from something.Take a walk around your area and keep an eye out for strange sights.Be present.Instead of talking about the problem, look at the sky or discuss what it smells like.You can engage with the environment by watching the animals.
Step 9: Have a movie night.
It is possible to help a friend keep her mind off her troubles by watching movies and TV shows.It's a good idea to avoid upsetting films.If her father has recently died of cancer, avoid movies where a parent dies or someone has cancer.Movies about relationships are not the right way to go if your friend has recently been dumped.It should be enjoyable and light.
Step 10: Be silly.
It's a great way to distract from pain.As the old saying goes, "laughter is the best medicine."Some bodily functions are improved by laughing.Take a stroll back in time.If you want to make snow angels or a blanket fort, only talk to each other in outrageous voices, or replace walking with skipping or jumping.Write silly poems or draw silly self-portraits.
Step 11: Together, do something new.
Doing something new and unusual can make you happy.It means that you have to think about the new thing instead of focusing on what she's upset about.Try a new class at the gym, make crafts, plant a garden, or paint.Don't let a new thing happen to your friend without checking with her first.This could upset her, which is opposite of what you want.
Step 12: Help someone else.
Helping other people reduces stress, heightens compassion, and increases resilience.A person going through a difficult time needs all of these things.If you can, volunteer for something.Volunteering is a great way to give back to the community, as well as doing good in someone else's life.You can volunteer at a soup kitchen or the animal shelter.Give time at a nursing home to a reading buddy for children.You can help cheer up a friend.Sometimes working together to help someone else in their problems can help cheer someone up, because it helps take the focus away from one's own life difficulties.Something nice can be done for someone else.It's possible to cook for a different friend or create a card from both of you.
Step 13: Take a trip.
Taking a trip can distract your friend from unhappiness.Travel keeps your friend from wallowing in her unhappiness by introducing new sights and new places.You can take a long vacation, such as hiking the John Muir trail or road tripping through Canada.You can choose between a weekend at a nearby beach, a couple days backpacking in the mountains, or a road trip to see a band you both love.
Step 14: Allow your friend to feel sad.
This is one of the worst things you can say to someone who is upset, especially if she is struggling with depression or anxiety.You're telling your friend not to be sad when you say this.It's more important to focus on you than on your friend.You are saying that her unhappiness is more important than yours.A friend shouldn't do that.Emotions can be unpleasant, but it's important to experience them.Everyone is entitled to feel and express their emotions.
Step 15: Don't avoid your friend.
When confronted with a friend in pain, it can be difficult to say anything.Don't be afraid to talk to your friend about her problem.What you can say is supportive.You don't need to say anything other than "I'm so sorry."If you need something, I'm here for you.
Step 16: Keep your focus on your friend.
She shouldn't make her pain all about you.This is a mistake that a lot of people make.You think you're relating to your friend's problems, but instead you are attacking her.You can relate to your friend, but make sure you don't tell a lot of stories about how you went through the same thing.Don't say: "I know what it's like to be broken up with."Jordan dumped me in front of everyone.I got over it, even though I was awful about it all the time.I've been doing well about the break-up.Say something like this, "I know that it hurts right now."You'll feel better later, but right now you're going to be unhappy.Whatever you need, I'm here for you.
Step 17: Unless they ask for them, don't offer solutions.
People don't want you to offer solutions when they are angry.Many people want to feel heard and that someone knows what they're going through.Don't say "I know your cat just died."You might want to get a new shelter.There are so many cats that need a home.Your friend has feelings about her dead cat.I was so sorry to hear about your cat.I know you loved her.Let me know if there's anything I can do to help.
Step 18: Don't forget to take care of yourself.
You may need to take a break if you feel overwhelmed by your friend's problems.Being the constant emotional support for someone else can be draining.Don't be their only means of support.Being supportive and being caretakers to a friend are different things.Be prepared to set limits and know the difference.If your friend calls and wants you to do things for them, be prepared to say no.You can acknowledge your other responsibilities.You would like a friend and I know you are hurting.I would like to help you.Tonight is not a good time for me because I need you to respect my time.This weekend, let's find time.Don't give up on your life.You should engage with other friends, go to the gym, and do other regular activities.Don't allow your friend to take over all of your time.
Step 19: It's a good idea to encourage your friend to seek help.
People can't deal with emotion on their own.If that's the case, you should tell her to get professional help.Marriage break-ups, the deaths of loved ones, and illness are just some of the things that need extra help.There are signs of depression such as difficulty with concentrating or remembering details, difficulties with making decisions, decreased energy, insomnia or excessive sleeping, sad anxious or empty thoughts, physical pains and issues that do not go away with treatment, thoughts or discussion of suicide, feelings or worthlessness or helplessness.Don't tell your friend that she needs to go into therapy if you're talking about seeking professional help.It might be a good idea to talk to someone who can help you.I'm here for you.
Step 20: If your friend is in danger, you should call for help.
If your friend is in a violent or abusive situation, the best thing you can do is to call the emergency services.This is not a situation that you can handle, and it is best left to experts.Being a friend is about safety.Make sure that your friend's life is not in danger.You can call The National Domestic Violence Hotline if you suspect abuse.You can call The National Suicide Prevention Hotline if you believe your friend is going to kill himself.