You are free to come out in a way that feels right to you.Sending a text gives you complete control over what you say and eliminates the risk of getting tongue-tied or having to deal with someone else's immediate in-person reaction.It can give the person time to think through their feelings as well.If you choose to come out, you should be proud of yourself and the steps you are taking to own your sexual or gender identity.
Step 1: Accepting your sexual or gender identity requires time.
If you do not want to be labeled, you don't have to fit in with stereotypes.Think about who you want to be and what makes you happy.It is okay if you are still figuring it out.Over time, your understanding of your sexual or gender identity may continue to grow.You don't have to have all the answers.It is different for everyone, so don't compare yourself with others.
Step 2: You can come out on your own terms.
It is not necessary for you to come out to everyone at the same time.Don't let anyone else pressure you into sharing your news before you make a decision.Coming out can be freeing, but can also be a lot of work.
Step 3: You can get support from other individuals.
Hearing other people's stories can make you feel less alone.In your coming-out text, you may get some ideas of what you want to say.If there isn't anyone in your life, there are tons of stories you can read and watch online.
Step 4: Pick a person who is trustworthy and supportive.
It's up to you whether you do it in person or through text.Someone can be a friend, teacher, counselor, sibling, aunt, or anyone you feel safe with.Once you decide to share your news more broadly, sharing it with just one person will give you some extra support.Say something like, "I have something I want to share because I'm planning on telling my family soon."I am bi.I can use your support.
Step 5: Coming out over text has pros and cons.
There is no right or wrong way to come out.Sending a text gives you control over what you say and can alleviate some anxiety about seeing a person's response.The person you tell will most likely want to meet up or call you, and eventually you will have to be prepared to see them in person.Don't be pressured into coming out in a way you're not comfortable with.Regardless of how it is done, choosing to come out is something you should be proud of.
Step 6: Consider who you want to share this information with.
You can either send a group text to your friends, or you can send individual texts.Think about who is most important in your life and who you care about the most.Think about how your friends and family treat other people.Hopefully they will be the same way toward you if they are open minded.If your friends and family aren't accepting of LGBTQIA+, consider that their responses may be disappointing.It is possible to be prepared emotionally if you come out.
Step 7: Before you send the text, write a draft of what you want to say.
It's a good idea to say your coming-out text exactly how you want.Because it is a text, try to keep it to 4-5 sentences, otherwise, some of what you are trying to communicate might get lost.Let the person know that you love them.You are sharing this news because you care about them.You need to include the words "I'm gay," or something similar.If they have questions, ask them.Don't feel like you have to apologize for who you are or how you came out.
Step 8: A clear, positive, and understanding tone is what you should use.
It can be difficult to come out, but try to write with confidence.You don't have to apologize for taking the time you did before coming out.Try texting "I have something I've been wanting to share with you for a long time."I am gay.I have known this for a long time and I am learning to love myself.I want you to be a part of my life.I wanted to give you some time to absorb it.I am a lesbian.I wanted to tell you for a while, but couldn't find the right time.I want to be honest with you, you are a big part of my life.I would be happy to answer any questions or get together to talk more.I hope you will support me.I am aware that you might have some questions.I would like to know your thoughts when you are ready.
Step 9: Send the text at the right time.
It's not the best time to send a message in the middle of the day.In the evening or on the weekend is the best time for someone to read and respond to what you wrote.Don't put it off because you're unsure of what the person is doing at that moment, it's impossible to pick a perfect timeYou can always text the person and say something like, "Hey, do you have a minute to talk about something?" and then send a follow-up text with your news.
Step 10: Give your friends and family time to digest the news.
Hopefully, they will respond quickly in a positive way.Their surprise doesn't have to mean they disapprove.It took you a long time to understand yourself.They might have questions for you.They will want to see you or at least talk about something.
Step 11: You will see them in person for the first time after the text.
The first time you see each other, it may feel a little awkward.If it feels right, hug them or find a way to break the ice.If you want, you can reference the text or focus on something else.Say something like, "I'm glad I shared my news with you" if you want to talk about your coming-out text.If you don't want to talk about it, have another topic ready to go.