No parent wants their child to suffer after a break up.How can you help your daughter?Even though you cannot take her pain away, you can be there to support her.You can find the best ways to be there for your daughter with the tips below.
Step 1: A listening ear is provided.
She needs to talk to someone about her loss in order to process it and move on.If you know she's talking to friends or someone she trusts, don't force her to talk to you about it.Even if it's inconvenient for you, you can still encourage her to talk to you with these strategies.She is in a crisis right now, so she doesn't need to tell her "We'll talk after dinner" or put off the conversation.Drop what you are doing and listen.Listen without thinking.You should not give opinions on what you are hearing.It may be obvious to you that this is a positive thing for your daughter, but now is not the time to let her know.Try to be accepting of what your daughter says and listen to her.Don't offer a silver lining response.Talking about it will help her feel better.If your daughter doesn't want to talk to you about the break up, encourage her to speak to other people.If she does not feel like talking to you, do not be aggressive.Say, "I know how upset you are."It is important to let those sad feelings out when you are upset.Don't keep them inside.It is okay if you do not want to talk to me about it.I hope you do, but it is okay if you don't.I want to know that you're talking to someone who listens.
Step 2: Empathize with your daughter.
Put yourself in her shoes.Do you remember how you felt after a break up?If you reflect on how you felt after your first break up, you may be able to empathise with what your daughter is going through.It's better to focus on your feelings for your daughter than it is about the relationship or her ex.It is still a loss for your daughter even if you are happy to see the relationship end.Allow her to cry.Don't tell her to stop, "it will all get better" or "this was for the best", just be with her.If she will let you, put your arm on her shoulder.Be supportive with statements like, "I know this must be very hard for you" or " I'm sure this seems like the worst thing in the world right now."If she could, she would immediately take her ex back, family and all, even if it was true.She will eventually find her own positives after the relationship ends.
Step 3: Let her speak.
She can express her anger over the break up.Listen to her and give her a healthy outlet for this.She can say whatever she wants about her ex, and you can encourage her to tell you more.You need to be careful about what you say about her ex.It may make her feel worse that she was blind to all of these terrible things if you go on a rant about her ex and all the things you didn't like about them.If she is badmouthing them in a way that will come back to haunt her, make sure she keeps her rants off social media.
Step 4: Let her decide how much she wants you involved.
She might want to spend a lot of time with you or her parents.She may feel differently on a day to day basis.It is not always cool to hang out with your parent, so don't worry if you want to do something else.Encourage her to spend time with her friends and plan some fun activities because she is going through a hard time.Offer to help in any way you can.You could host a fun evening for her and her friends at your house or give her a ride to an activity.
Step 5: Let her know that she is grieving.
She will not bounce back from this loss.It takes a while to heal.She will have a better idea of her emotions when she understands the grieving process.Encourage her to learn about grief and look at her feelings as a process she needs to go through, not feelings that will be around forever.You could say, "You have been through a big loss, and your heart and mind are processing it."It takes a lot of energy to grieve a loss, but you have to work your way through it.That could mean being tired or crying a lot.If you try to hold it back, it will be harder for you.
Step 6: She should be cut a bit of slack.
We are not ourselves when we grieve.Your daughter might be more focused than usual.Stay organized and help her with details.It is hard for people when they are grieving to stay on top of their bills and appointments.They are all focused on the loss.If you see that your daughter is struggling, remind her about her schoolwork.If she tells you she is drinking a lot or gets suspended from school, you should confront her about her behavior.Encourage her to seek professional help.
Step 7: Do something that is fun.
Help her take a break and plan some fun activities with her.She is able to see that she can enjoy herself again.The two of you can enjoy this time together.Try a new restaurant that she has been wanting to go to.If you want to get away for the weekend, you can take a day trip to a nearby town.Both of you should visit a museum.They should go walking, hiking, or biking together.You can see a movie.She might want to cry or laugh.You should go shopping.
Step 8: Take care of her.
In the first few days after the break up, be generous.It's a good way to remind her that there are still people who love her.You may want to make her crave her favorite foods.Ice cream is her favorite comfort food, so stock her freezer with it.She will enjoy watching her favorite movies or TV shows.She needs a pedicure.
Step 9: Encourage her to take care of herself.
Taking care of your mental, physical and emotional health is called self-care.These actions are more numbing than self-care, which is why they have a place.Encourage your daughter to keep a journal.Exercising.A social media break.Going outside in nature.Getting a good night's sleep.
Step 10: Encourage her to do other things.
A romantic relationship is only one aspect of a person's life.Encourage your daughter to do other things.Encourage her to finish her schoolwork.Encourage her career growth by asking her about her job.She needs to focus on a sport or hobby.Encourage her to train for a big race if she is a runner.
Step 11: Let her know you are proud of her.
It is difficult and painful to break up.Let your daughter know how proud you are of her ability to deal with difficult situations.She can feel strong and resilient.You could say that you have been through a lot with this break up.You are handling it well.I am so proud to see that you are working through it, even though it has been hard for you.I know you will get through this and be even stronger than before.
Step 12: Help her remember the break up.
You will probably hear your daughter rationalize the break up after the initial shock wears off.He was a picky eater.We wouldn't go to any interesting restaurants.I would have to eat meat and potatoes for the rest of my life.I feel like I got lucky when we arrived.She might be ready to consider the positives of the break-up, because this is a good sign that she doesn't have to drive in her car anymore.Suggest that she make a list of all the good that came out of the break up, no matter how small and insignificant the items seem.Maybe she has learned to stand up for herself, or maybe she doesn't have to deal with her ex's stinginess anymore.Suggest she write a letter to herself and let her know what she's feeling.She will be amazed at how her life has changed and how much she has grown when she opens it a year later.To help her figure out what she has learned about herself through the experience, she should ask questions.You could ask, "What do you think is the most important thing about relationships now that you've been through this?" or "what are some characteristics you would look for in a new partner?"She will bounce back.
Step 13: Help her understand her worth.
She probably lost her self-esteem after the break up.Let her know how much she means to you and her family.She brings a lot of good things to the world, such as her sense of humor, kind heart, and strong work ethic.She is more than one person's opinion of her.When you know her presence made a difference, remind her.Do you remember how many girls in your dance class looked up to you, or how your grandma loved visiting you in the nursing home and doing puzzles with her?