How To Deal With a Sibling Who Always Snitches on You
At some point, your siblings will rat on you to your parents.Younger brothers and sisters who have yet to learn how to handle their own problems are more likely to experience this than older siblings who feel ignored or jealous.It is possible for them to break this habit with patience, honest conversation, and a spirit of compromise.
Step 1: Tell the difference between telling andattling.
If your sibling is between four and eight years old, you should expect them to not understand the difference between the two.If you want your sibling to calm down before they run to your parents, sit them down for a talk.”Telling” on someone is when you see them doing something that is seriously wrong, like hurting someone else, hurting themselves, or behaving in a way that could hurt someone, such as playing on a busy street.Tattling is when you complain to your parents about things like seeing someone playing a forbidden video game or coming home twenty minutes after curfew.They don't want the conversation to get defensive.Do you mind if we talk about something?
Step 2: Tell us about the impact of tattling.
Tell your siblings how tattling can irritate people.It can hurt their relationships if people form a poor opinion of them.You can use your parents and peers as examples.Do you know how your parents will get tired of listening to what your sibling has to say if they tattle all the time?You wouldn't want to hang out with me if you heard me complain about my siblings all the time.Kids at school will feel the same way.
Step 3: Don't be offensive, be helpful.
Make it clear to your sibling that you are having this talk for their benefit, not yours.Don't berate them for what they've done.They are more likely to listen if you present this as advice, not a warning.It is likely that yelling at them will make them defensive and less receptive.If you want to assure your little brother or sister that you are speaking to them as an equal, use examples from your own life.
Step 4: They want to be a boy or girl.
Share your parents' hopes that you will be able to take care of yourself.Emphasize that big kids should be able to resolve problems on their own.Tell them that when your sibling thinks something is wrong, they should think of a way to fix it.They might not like the solution completely.Bill hogs all of his own toys when they play together.It is possible to stop playing with Bill for a while in order to teach him a lesson.Explain how it will make Bill realize that refusing to share has consequences in the long run.
Step 5: Don't be impatient.
Your younger sibling is small.They are too young to take this one seriously.They will backslide and tattle after that.Don't get mad when they do.If they remembered the talk, ask them in a friendly, concerned way.The two of you could have resolved this last instance on your own.If they snitch on you for coming home late after hanging out with your friends, first ask them if anyone got hurt."coming home late" isn't something to run to Mom or Dad about, when they say no.If you caught them doing something wrong, you would feel obligated to keep your mouth open.Explain to your sibling that it's not your fault if you're late because you can't cross a busy road or you have a broken watch.
Step 6: Ask why they snitch.
Find out if they are worried about you.Ask them why they think it's necessary to tell Mom and Dad everything you do wrong.The reason for your sibling's tattling is a belief that they are punished more for being bad than you are.redirecting attention away from bad behavior is a defensive tactic.
Step 7: As best you can, remedy the situation.
Don't let your own frustration get the better of you.From their point of view, imagine your family life.Do they have valid complaints?Work together to come up with ways to improve things.Talk to your parents about how your sibling is treated.Make a point of being their ally if that doesn't work.When you babysit or smuggle goods for your sibling, do favors to improve their situation.If they feel overlooked, spend more time with them.Mention your sibling's score if your parents talk more about your own achievements at dinner or with people outside your family.If they are only ratting on you to keep your parents' focus away from them, join forces.They can become co-conspirators with readymade alibis if their own hijinks are small.
Step 8: Talk to your parents about what you discuss.
If you want your sibling to stop tattling on you, don't snitch on them.As you grow older, beware of your parents confiding in you more and more about your sibling, as though you were their equal and not your brother or sister's.If your parents started the conversation, expect your sibling to resent it.Should you disengage when the topic turns towards your sibling?Do you think the vein of talk is positive or negative?Would I be upset if my sibling and parents talked about me?I don't know if my parents are asking me for help with my sibling or if they are just complaining.
Step 9: Resist type-casting.
Even though you are trying to improve your relationship with a sibling who snitches, avoid backing them into a corner and framing them as "The Snitch." Allow them the room to grow out of it.Should they grow out of this habit, avoid blinding yourself to their improvement.Since these may warp your perception of each other and lead to strained relationships in the future as you grow older, avoid labels in general.There is a difference between tattling and telling.A sibling who used to tattle on you might have a valid reason to inform their parents.
Step 10: It's time to move forward.
Let go of bad feelings from the past.Whether your sibling is younger or older than you, know that they are not the same person.Assume that they have matured, and give them the benefit of the doubt.You can clear the air by talking about the conflicts that have stuck with you.Keep the conversation lighthearted, with an air of "I can't believe that happened." Always use the past tense to show that you have moved on, and no longer consider either of you as "that person."
Step 11: You have to prove that you are mature.
If your sibling does not relent in snitching on you, you can present yourself to your parents as a capable kid who keeps their priorities straight.Without being prodded, do your homework and chores.There are more responsibilities to be taken on by a volunteer.Helping out your family is important to you.It's a good idea to get as much done when your parents aren't around.They should be convinced that you spend your time wisely.To prove that your relationship is important to you, engage them in conversation at home.You should present your best self in public.It is your sibling's word if you address other adults respectfully.
Step 12: You should be the bigger person.
If your sibling tattles on you, resist the urge to fight over it.Don't confess your guilt in front of your sibling.Ignore their snitching and treat it as a non-issue.Even if their tattling leads to you being caught, create the impression that you are more mature than them.
Step 13: I would like to apologize sincerely.
If you accept responsibility for your actions, you won't be blamed for snitching.You can reduce your parents' disappointment by acting mature.Even though you have been found out, trust that facing your punishment like an adult will leave a better impression than your sibling's tattletale behavior.