How To Discipline a Child Effectively Without Spanking
You may have heard that a child's aggression can lead to other problems, such as poor academic performance and low self-esteem.Smacking isn't effective.Try other forms of discipline to see which works best for your child.There are better ways to teach your child to obey.
Step 1: Nature should be allowed to take its course.
Natural consequences happen when a child breaks a rule.Talking to your child about the consequences will help them connect the cause and effect.They can learn from the incident if you help.There is no need for parents to help a child learn.When visiting family, you should not allow your child to take their favorite toy.They left it behind because they did.There is no need for further correction if you don't have the toy.The child will be more likely to follow the rules in the future if they lose something they care about.Don't make a special trip if you want to cement the lesson.Tell the child that they'll need to find a way to get the toy back if they wait until the next time you visit or teach them problem-solving skills.The child hitting a friend and the friend's parent no longer asking them to come over is an example.The outcome shows the child that hitting is not appropriate.
Step 2: If possible, link the consequences with the behavior.
Resolving the situation can include consequences or payback.When rules are broken, logical consequences should be linked to the behavior.Discipline should be a direct reflection of their actions.A child bounces a ball in the house and breaks a picture frame.You could say that you were asked not to play with the ball inside.You have broken a frame.You will have to do extra chores to pay for the frame, so be sure to explain why the consequence is being put into place.
Step 3: Choices can be offered to correct undesirable behaviors.
Being able to make their own decisions helps kids exercise their independence.Kids learn to develop their own problem-solving skills with choices.Clear choices are offered rather than shouting at them.If a child is hitting others, you could say, "If you can't keep your hands to yourself, leave the play area for a time out."It's possible to say to a child that doesn't want to get dressed, "Would you like to wear the blue shirt or the grey one?"They can do the desirable behavior on their terms.
Step 4: Meeting the underlying need is what correct misbehavior is about.
Make sure to pay attention to why your child is acting out.If you can come up with a plan to correct the behavior and help them get their needs met, that's great.Your child may be desperate for your attention if they interrupt you repeatedly during a phone call.You could say, "I will be off the phone in a few minutes, then you and I will have some cuddle time, okay?" and then allow the child to come in the room with you, but only if they play quietly.The rule is no running in the house, Jack, if your child is running.We should go to the playground in the park.
Step 5: A point system is needed to decrease undesirable behavior.
If you want to visually represent your child's behavior, put a chart up in your home or use a jar.They could get a point on the chart or a marble could go into the jar.A consequence is put into place once they reach a certain amount.The child will have to behave for a set amount of time in order to have the consequence removed or privileges returned.Discipline that allows kids to be able to temper their behaviors will help them achieve their goals.This won't get them more points or get their privileges restored.The system can be used to reward good behavior.The child would earn and lose points based on their behavior.A desired activity or treat may be the result of an accumulate of points.
Step 6: Positive reinforcement can increase good behavior.
Praise or reward your child when they are acting appropriately is an effective way to help them obey.When you see your daughter eating with good table manners, say, "Mindy, I love how you are eating."Positive reinforcement such as praise and rewards is more effective than a consequence, according to experts.They suggest ignoring undesirable behavior and only giving your attention when your child is doing right.To get more attention, the child needs to do more positive behaviors.The child will be more likely to behave well if this encourages them.When a child throws food, the parent might ignore it but still praise them for eating as they please.
Step 7: Help your child know what's right and wrong with clear rules.
Your child is less likely to break the rules if they know what they are expected to do.Explain your family's rules with your child.The rules should be clear, simple, and consistent.If rules are broken, gain points on a chart.Discuss the rule, its consequences and how the child can do better when disciplining.For instance, your rules might say, "walk indoors."No running!Clear away your area after an activity, such as homework or arts and crafts, if you want to complete homework before playtime.You might have a rule to treat others with respect.It's disrespectful for your child to behave that way if you talk to them about it.Let them know how they could express their emotions in a different way.If you put the rules in plain sight, your child will be reminded of how to behave.Hang a sign on your kitchen door, post them on the fridge, or pin them to the wall near your points chart.
Step 8: The child needs to be taught how to hold themselves accountable.
When no one is watching, it's important that your child learns to follow the rules.Don't want to micromanage the child's behavior.If you want the child to check off positive behaviors, you could have them do their homework and clean up after themselves.If you have more than one child, teach them to follow the rules.If one child sees the other running in the house, she could say, "Hey, we're supposed to walk."You could be hurt or break something.
Step 9: Consistency is important across caregivers, situations and children.
Maintaining the same rules and consequences in your household will help your child establish rules of behavior.They know what to do if they don't comply.Consistency is important across contexts and caregivers.The child shouldn't be allowed to break the rules just because friends are visiting.Mom shouldn't have one set of rules while dad has another.Even though you are tired, you should still have the same expectations for your child.Don't allow them to use your exhaustion as a free pass.One child shouldn't be allowed to break rules and not have consequences enforced, in addition to your rules being consistent between your children.The same rules should be followed by other children when they visit.Ask your child to explain the rules to their friends or relatives when they get to your home as this will help reinforce the child's understanding.
Step 10: Provide places for them to release energy.
Some kids with a lot of energy get into trouble because they don't know how to channel it.Give your child lots of time to work and move.They will be less likely to break the law.Allow your child to burn off energy by playing outside or put a special place inside where they can play.Keep coloring books, puzzles, and games nearby to keep them busy.When it comes to your child, be realistic.An energetic child should not be expected to sit for hours at a time.Set up parameters that will increase your child's odds of being obedient.
Step 11: It's important to set a firm intention.
You will use other forms of discipline besides spanking if you make a commitment with yourself.A clear plan with alternatives is needed.Write it down and visualize it.You could say, "I will not spank my child."I will provide choices, use consequences and positive reinforcement to help my child behave appropriately.It is possible to choose a more appropriate technique in the heat of the moment if you have a clear idea of how you want to handle discipline.You can make your intentions public by sharing them with family, friends, and other supportive parents.Ask them to hold you accountable.
Step 12: You should get your partner or co-parent on board.
If you are parenting with someone else, talk about your intentions to not use spankings as a form of discipline.Share your knowledge of other, more effective disciplines.Role-play scenarios and an open discussion as to how you two can handle common behavioral problems without hitting each other.It may take some time to replace the old habit if spanking is not a new practice in your household.If you want to make a commitment to turn to other approaches, make sure to remind yourself how damaging spanking can be.
Step 13: Make sure family and friends follow the same rules.
It's important that your child follow through on your rules when spending time with other adults.If your child is not allowed to play violent video games, you will want to make sure other caregivers don't let them play the games.It will be harder to achieve positive behaviors if the child is able to break the rules.If someone breaks the rules you have set for your child, talk to them.Don't let your child go to their home if they continue to break the rules.
Step 14: Take care of your own stress.
Even the best-laid plans can fall apart when you are frustrated or upset.You can think objectively when disciplining, if you manage stress and negative emotions.Deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation are some of the relaxation exercises that can be done daily.You should eat healthy foods that support your health.You can approach discipline with a clear head if you get lots of rest and exercise.Take the time to have fun with friends and family.