How To Handle a Difficult Date

It's difficult to date for everyone.It can be difficult to date and handle a date that isn't going well.It can be hard to know when to leave a date and how to make it better.You may be better able to handle the date if you can be patient, be curious and acknowledge the awkwardness.If you notice red flags, listen to your intuition, and change your dating patterns, you will be able to handle difficult dates in the future.

Step 1: You should be patient with your date.

Don't give up on your date before you cut them some slack.It could be that they are just as nervous as you are, or they don't know what to say.First impressions are not always right.Give your date some time to get to know you.

Step 2: Allow yourself to relax.

Try to relax a bit more on the date.Your nerves could be playing into your impression of how the date is going, since it is anxiety-provoking to meet someone new.Your date is more important than your inner dialogue, worries or judgments.You can focus on the activity you are doing with your date.This may make the date better.

Step 3: Ask questions that are open.

If your date is shy, he or she may not be able to open up to you on the date.Don't talk about yourself, but take the pressure off and get the conversation started.Show your interest and curiosity.Find things you have in common by asking them fun and unexpected questions.Ask them questions that they can't answer with a "yes" or "no".What is your biggest goal in life?What is your favorite place?Why?

Step 4: The subject should be changed.

It is possible for your date to start talking about something that makes you uncomfortable, like a past relationship or politics.If you want to start a new conversation, direct it to a previous topic."That's interesting, but I'm more curious about what you were saying earlier about your project at work."Tell me more about it.

Step 5: It's time to shut it down.

You may have to be more direct with your date if they don't get the hint.While being clear that you're not comfortable with what your date is saying or doing, you can still be polite.If your date is talking about sex and you want it to stop, you can say, "I'm sorry, but it makes me uncomfortable on a first date."We should talk about your job.You can say "I am uncomfortable with how you just talked to the waiter" if your date is doing something inappropriate.That is not okay.Please stop.

Step 6: Stay in your comfort zone.

Your date may try to touch or hug you since you're on a date.Stay in your comfort zone if you know what your limits are.It's inevitable on a first date that there will be physical touch, but avoid anything you're not comfortable with.If your date keeps trying to touch you, be direct.If your date is making you uncomfortable with touch, you might say, "I appreciate you wanting to hold my hand, but I'm a little nervous."I want to talk more and get to know you better.

Step 7: Accept the awkwardness.

You two just met, remember!You may be awkward around one another.The bad date may be turned around if you acknowledge that it is weird or nervous.If you feel like the date is not going as planned, speak up.You can say, "I'm a little nervous right now, aren't you?"It is different talking to someone online and meeting them in person.

Step 8: Call out any discrepancies.

Sometimes a date will try to impress you with little white lies or bigger lies about who they are.Call them out if there are any inconsistencies in what they say.You can remind them that you just want to know who they are.If you don't speak Spanish, it's okay.You don't have to impress me.I appreciate honesty.

Step 9: Take a break

Taking a break from the conversation or changing the setting of your date can help ease the tension of a difficult date.Taking a short bathroom break is one way to leave the date temporarily.Texting a friend to get help.Suggesting doing something other than what was planned.

Step 10: Take notice of the flags.

You don't have to stay out all the time.Take notice of any warning signs that this person isn't right for you.You don't have to stay out on a date just to be nice if the person is being rude, offensive to your beliefs, or aggressive.Your date starts using terms of endearment for you after you met.Your date may use sexual innuendo.Your date makes inappropriate comments about you.Your date makes you uncomfortable or violates your physical boundaries.

Step 11: You should listen to your intuition.

If you just aren't enjoying the date anymore, pay attention to your instincts.If you can't put up with your date anymore tonight or ever, you may want to stop giving them the benefit of the doubt.Only you know what is best for you.

Step 12: Be credible.

You won't be able to fake your way through the rest of the date if you're not interested in the other person.Your date will notice that you are not paying attention.They will probably not want to continue a relationship with you if you aren't interested.You can tell me that I am not feeling a spark with you.I liked chatting with you over dinner, but I am going to go home now.I apologize it didn't work out.

Step 13: Don't make an excuse.

It can be dangerous to be too direct about ending the date.It should be focused on you or something you need to do.I apologize, I didn't realize how late it was.I need to go home.I wake up early at work.I'm sorry but I am not feeling well.I think I ate something I disagreed with.I have to go home before I get sick.I got a call from my best friend.I had plans after I forgot she.I need to leave.

Step 14: You should have a safe way out.

You don't want to get followed when you leave your date.You should make sure you have safe transportation home if the date has gone bad.You can call or text a friend to let them know who you are with, when you're leaving, and you expect to be home.Ask them to pick you up.Let the manager of the bar or restaurant know what's going on.They can call you a cab or walk you to the car.If you have to leave undetected, ask them to distract you.Stay on the phone with someone until you get to your home.

Step 15: Evaluate your expectations.

It is important to make sure that your expectations of the person are realistic.If you write off your dates as not good enough because of a bad cologne, being too short, or not having an interesting job, you should honestly assess.Give people more of a chance if you let go of your expectations.Everyone has value, you just have to find it.

Step 16: Don't give up, stay positive.

With time and practice, you will start to find better dates.Do not give up.You can work on your flirting and conversation skills on difficult dates.Rejection is a part of dating.Being able to reject someone earlier saves you from a difficult relationship.

Step 17: You should plan shorter dates.

Dinner dates can take up a lot of time.It's hard to get out of those dates.Try to plan shorter dates.Meeting for coffee is something you could try.There is a meeting on your lunch break.Meeting for dessert or frozen yogurt.There is a meeting at a dog park.

Step 18: You need to connect with your purpose for dating.

It is important to remember why you are going on dates in the first place.Chances are you are trying to date someone because you want a healthy and fulfilling relationship with someone.Even after you have gone on some difficult dates and aren't having fun anymore, try to remember that and keep that in mind.You can write down what you want from a relationship.What do you want your partner to do?Relationships and dating are important to you.

Step 19: You can add variety to your dates.

You should add variety if you find that you are constantly going on the same type of date and not having success.It is possible that most of your difficult dates have occurred when you have scheduled dinner, a movie, and drinks.Adding some variety to your dating experience will make it more enjoyable.If you don't like your date, you'll have a nice time on the date.Schedule activities that are limited will help keep the date from lasting forever.You could attend a painting class.Hike or take a guided tour.You can go to the local zoo or aquarium.

Step 20: It's a good idea to plan safely.

There are safe locations where you can plan dates.Don't let a date pick you up until you know them better.You should get to know the owners or managers of the places you go on dates.Always tell a friend where you're going, and have safe transportation lined up.

Step 21: You can spend some time with people you like.

If you want to spend time with people you enjoy, take some time off from dating to do so.You may not have spent time with your friends and family in a while.Even if your dating life isn't going so well, being around people who support you will make you feel more comfortable.It may make you want to go out again.