How To Help a daughter deal with emotional issues.
You may feel unprepared to deal with the emotional onslaught that can often accompany the teenage years as your little girl grows up.Don't despair if you're concerned about her drama, moodiness, anxiety, bad attitudes, or behavior.By building a strong relationship with your daughter and helping her learn to manage her feelings, you will be giving yourself the information you need to navigate through the emotional issues of her teen years.
Step 1: Gain your daughter's trust.
If your daughter feels that she cannot trust you, she won't open up to you.If you show genuine respect for your child's feelings, you can grow her trust in you.It is safe for your child to open up to you.Even if she reveals something that is against the law.Understanding is a more effective course of action than consequences.The "Parent Hat" should be taken off once in a while.If you come to your level at times, your daughter will feel more comfortable telling you things.If she knows you won't explode and ground her for life, she will be more likely to share with you.If your daughter comes to you and says, "I'm thinking about sleeping with my boyfriend," talk to her about birth control, safety, and taking care of herself emotionally and physically.Don't blurt out, "No way!"You aren't allowed to have sex yet!
Step 2: Don't overreact.
She may give you information, so be careful how you react to it.If she says something that upsets you, don't flip out.You can either encourage or discourage her from sharing her feelings with you in the future.
Step 3: Lead by example.
Show her what it means to be trustworthy.Always keep your promises and do what you say you're going to do.She will know how to deal with situations in her own life when she sees how you handle them.Practice resilience.Let your daughter know that you have the ability to bounce back after a tough time.She learns to do the same thing from modeling this.
Step 4: Talk to her.
Don't shut your daughter out or give her a silent treatment because she hurt your feelings, it will sound silly.Teenage girls can be mean to their parents, but remember that it might be hormones talking.You know the person because you raised her.Decide if you can let the issue go.Waiting to talk about it is a good idea if you are upset.You can give yourself some time to think, calm down, and proceed rationally when your conversation restarts."Why don't we go for a walk after dinner to discuss this?" or "Let's set a time to talk about this tomorrow."Giving each of you some breathing room is a good way to do that.
Step 5: An open line of communication is important.
Talk about everything, not just the big things.Let her know you're interested and wait for her to respond.She might come talk to you later if you know that you are concerned.Keep in touch with her about her friends, school, relationships, hopes, and dreams.
Step 6: The tone of your relationship needs to be set.
As an adult, you are the one who sets the tone for your relationship with your child.She will be that way with you if you are condescending or sarcastic.If you don't overreact, your daughter is more likely to come back and apologize on her own.
Step 7: Keep calm.
It is tempting to hit your daughter if she is being mean to you.If you fight back or defend yourself, you will only escalate the conflict between you.There was a chance for the two of you to have a productive discussion.Every time you feel triggered by your daughter, make a habit of pausing.You can notice your own emotions instead of focusing on her.Relax your body.If you feel angry or emotional, try to relax.Just breathe.When you take deep breaths, your brain will function better.Look at your emotions.Think of how your emotions are the same as water running over a rock.It helps you calm down.
Step 8: Acknowledge her feelings.
Remember that acknowledging her feelings does not mean that you condone bad behavior.It's important for your daughter to know that you care about her.Say something like, "I know that you're hurting right now, I can see how you might feel that way."
Step 9: Tell her it is okay.
Make sure your daughter knows that she can accept whatever she wants.It is always okay to feel your feelings, so tell her that ignoring or pushing her feelings aside won't help.
Step 10: Listen to what she has to say.
It is important to remain open-minded when your daughter talks to you.Try to listen to what she has to say to you.Accepting her feelings is an important part of listening.If you can't understand what she means, try repeating her words back to her."So what you're telling me is that you are worried about your test scores, or that your friend is pressuring you to try a drug?"Don't use your phone when you can give your daughter your full attention.She is the most important thing to you, so make sure she knows that.
Step 11: You can empathize with your daughter.
Try to remember how you felt when you were a teenager and make sure she knows that you understand what she's going through.You can give her examples from your own experiences.I remember fighting with my mom when I was a teenager because she wouldn't let me stay out past 10pm and my friends had to stay until midnight.I remember feeling like the only girl on the planet who had to wear glasses and braces at the same time.It was terrible!
Step 12: Spend some time with her.
Some teen girls think their parents don't spend enough time with them.You can make it a habit of doing one-on-one activities with your daughter, whether it is for game night, shopping, exercising, or just going to dinner or the movies.She knows that she is a priority in your life when you spend time with her.
Step 13: Let her know that you support her.
You should not dismiss her concerns just because you don't think they are important.Things that may seem trivial to you, like not being invited to a certain party or which dress to wear to the dance, may be huge problems in her eyes.Some things may seem unimportant to you, but they may be very important to her.Her struggles should not be minimized or dismissed.
Step 14: Affirm to your daughter.
Your child knows that no matter what is bothering her, it can always be solved.Make sure that she knows that the two of you can handle it together.Tell her that you believe in her.You will get through this, too, if you remind her that you've been through tough times before.
Step 15: Pay attention to the signs.
As a parent, you know your child better than anyone.If you notice behaviors like these that may be indicative of a more serious problem, pay close attention.Decreased enjoyment of activities that she previously enjoyed Poor performance in school or refusal to attend school Feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, anxiety, or sadness Frequent bouts of aggression or violent behavior Substance abuse
Step 16: Address the problem immediately.
Take immediate steps to resolve the problem if you suspect that your daughter is involved in a bully situation.It's time to stop it on the spot.It is fine to separate the people involved.For the time being, restrict internet access if it's on-line.What happened?Try to get the facts without placing blame.The children were involved in the incident.Tell them that it's wrong to bully.If the situation occurs again, give advice about what to do.Role-playing can help prepare your child for real life.
Step 17: You should trust your instincts.
No one sign means there is a problem.Before making a decision on a course of action, look at the severity, nature, and duration of the problem.When your child is acting out of character and having difficulties, don't be afraid to act on your parental instincts.
Step 18: Don't be afraid to ask for help.
Don't be afraid to ask for help with your daughter's problems if you find you're in over your head.Get in touch with a licensed therapist or counselor.
Step 19: If you suspect a medical problem, set up a doctor appointment.
If there is significant cause for concern, a medical professional can give you a plan for addressing physical or mental issues.