There may come a time in your marriage when your husband feels like he lacks passion in his life, and that likely has nothing to do with you or the marriage.It is part of being alive.Maybe your husband is trying to find his passion so that he can turn it into a new hobby, or maybe he is looking for a career to pursue.You can make this process easier by being his partner.Show him support by suggesting ideas, listening to his dreams, and being patient with him.
Step 1: Think about what your husband is saying.
Take note of what your husband does in his free time, think about what he likes to talk about, and think of the things he is talented at.Sometimes people have a difficult time reflecting on their own interests, so it is helpful to hear input from a person that they trust.If you notice, for example, that in his free time he likes to take things apart to see how they work, maybe his passion is engineering.If your husband asks for help, you can use this type of thinking to come up with ideas.You could say, "Well, I notice that every time a TV program about cars comes on, you always stop to watch it."Maybe you are interested in that.
Step 2: How did you find your passion?
Maybe you already know what you want to do.Maybe you volunteer at the animal shelter because you are passionate about animals.Maybe you made a career out of your passion for architecture.It may be helpful for your husband to learn how you figured it out for yourself, regardless of what you do with it.Some people find their passion by accident.That is wonderful if this is the case for you.It probably won't be helpful for your husband.You can say something like, "I don't really know how I figured out my passion for animals."It sort of developed on its own because I was always around them.I think I am fortunate.I think most people have to get out there and try a few things before figuring it out.
Step 3: Suggestions instead of commands.
If your husband brings up that he is trying to figure out what his passion is, and asks you what you think he might be good at, it is important that you don't just tell him what he should do.He may be more open to your ideas if he sees them as suggestions.You could say something like, "I notice that you enjoy talking about birds."Are you interested in bird watching?
Step 4: Try something new with your husband.
One way to help your husband find his passion is to try out new things with him.He thinks doing something together might be interesting.Try to think of something you can do on your own, and suggest trying it out together.You might think of something that has never happened before to him.If your husband is unsure of what he wants, it may make the process seem a little less intimidating.Your husband could be passionate about helping children.Go to a children's hospital to volunteer or coach a youth sports team.Consider trying out a program such as Big Brothers Big Sisters, which will give him an opportunity to spend time with a child who needs a mentor.You can also come up with your own ideas.Maybe you think your husband could enjoy baking if he tried it.Try a baking class together or bake a cake together.It's possible that your husband never thought about baking, but will love it.There is research that shows that couples who try new things together tend to be happier than those who don't.
Step 5: He should be allowed to try things alone.
It's great to try things out together, but your husband may prefer to do things on his own.He may want to prove to himself that he can do something on his own, or he may just need some time to think about whether or not he enjoys it.If your husband says he wants to do something alone, don't take it personally.This does not mean that he wants to do it without you.Everyone needs a bit of time for themselves, but some people need more alone time than others.
Step 6: Be a good person to talk to.
It can be difficult to listen to someone who is very close to you.This can lead to arguments and misunderstandings.Try to remove your own ego from the conversation when your spouse talks about some feelings.Try to put yourself in his shoes by listening openly to his feelings.It is not likely that your husband is saying this to hurt you.He may be saying he wants to have something of his own, and not even thinking about you or him.Don't interrupt your husband when he's talking.Be sure to support him in any way you can.Try to stay positive.Take note of what he says and ask if there is anything you can do to help him find his passion.Sometimes people need to let their feelings out and your husband may not be asking for advice.Just ask if you don't know what he wants.You can say, "I hear what you're saying, and I can empathise with you."Is it more helpful if I just listen to you?
Step 7: Advice should be given when it is asked for.
Try to stay positive and encourage if your husband wants to hear your input.It is great if your husband wants to find his passion.Not everyone takes the time to reflect on things like this, so there is no reason to discourage him from doing so.Try to be thoughtful when giving advice.Say so if he asks you what to do.You can say, "I don't know if most people find their passion."Maybe we can come up with a solution.Remember that advice is not always needed or wanted.
Step 8: Don't tell your husband what to do.
Regardless of what it is about, nobody wants to be nagged.If your husband is trying to figure out what is important to him in life, then hearing you constantly nagging will make the whole experience tense and un enjoyable.He may resent you or feel as though he can't make you happy.Try to remember that people take action when they are ready to do so.If your husband says he wants to try something, it is a good idea to encourage him, but then let him do it at his own pace.You don't have to remind him about what he said.If your husband seems to be putting something off, give him a gentle push or remind him.If you notice, your husband always finds an excuse to get out of a carpentry workshop, even if he is thinking of going to it.Encourage him to try it again even if he is a bit nervous.You can encourage him, but he needs to do the activity on his own.
Step 9: Be nice.
It can be easy to forget in close family relationships.Treat your husband well.Things you say to your husband will make him feel bad.Listen and be happy for him if he tells you about his day.Don't tell him you think something is stupid if he tells you about it.Being kind to your husband can make him feel appreciated.There are a lot of ways to be kind to someone.Whether or not one person is trying to find a passion is irrelevant in a successful marriage.You can tell him you love him, wish him a nice day, make him his favorite meal, and let him choose what you watch on TV.It doesn't have to be huge, but it will remind him that he has someone there willing to support him.
Step 10: Do your best to be patient.
Being patient with a spouse can be difficult.When one person is trying to find their way in life, the other has it all figured out, this can be even more challenging.If you want to find a passion, you need to try several things to see what works and what doesn't.Sometimes it can be a bit frightening.Try to be patient with your husband.It depends on what type of passion your husband is trying to find.It may be easy to be patient with your husband if he is just trying to find a new hobby.If your husband is trying to find a career that he is passionate about, you may need to practice a bit more patience.Being patient is a skill.Some people are naturally more patient than others, but just because you don't believe yourself to be patient does not mean that you cannot be.If it's hard to be patient, try to find your own hobby or passion.Don't distract yourself with your own interests.Your husband may follow in your footsteps.
Step 11: Try to comprehend.
It is more difficult for some people to find a passion than for others.You might have figured it out quickly and easily, but that doesn't mean your husband will be able to as well.If your husband comes up with lots of different things he wants to try, some of which seem a bit out there, remind yourself that it means a lot to him to have you in his corner.Sometimes it's easier to understand than at other times.Take time for yourself when you need it.If you are having a hard time understanding, try doing something that relaxes you so you don't react negatively.
Step 12: Talk to your husband about your feelings.
When one person is struggling to figure something out in a marriage, the other spouse may feel resentful or not cared for.You should remember that you are also important, even though you may be sacrificing so that your husband can find his passion.If you feel like you aren't getting the care you need, it's important to be honest.It doesn't mean that you need to be negative, but you should remember to talk about your needs too.It is possible to say, "I know you are struggling to figure things out right now, and that is hard."I would like to support you as much as you need.I feel left out of your life lately.Do you think we could do something together?It shows your husband that you aren't ignoring what's going on in his life, but you also feel a bit down.If you make a suggestion on what can be done about it, your husband will see that you are trying to stay positive.
Step 13: Think about your husband.
Try to remember that your husband is also struggling with this when you start to feel impatient.Losing your temper, being impatient, or failing to understand his feelings will make him feel worse.If your husband is looking for a career that interests him, this is also true.This requires some practice.It is ok that you may not always get it right.If you can catch yourself before you say something to your husband, you'll be better off.Think about his feelings and what you want to say when you catch yourself.It is possible to become more aware of your husband's feelings by putting yourself in his shoes.If you felt like you lacked passion, how would you feel?What are you going to do to find that passion?How would you like to be supported while searching for something?