Mismatched sex drives can cause tension and resentment in a marriage, but you don't have to give up your sex life.It is important to connect with your wife in non-sexual ways so that she feels appreciated.Improve things in the bedroom after that.Don't forget to rule out any underlying medical or emotional problems for your wife.
Step 1: Outside the bedroom is a good place to spend quality time with your wife.
You can connect with your wife in non-sexual settings.Try new things together, work on hobbies that you both enjoy, or just talk to each other.It's a good idea to make it part of your evening routine to talk with your wife about how the day went.It is possible that a stronger relationship with your wife will boost her libido.
Step 2: Help your wife relax.
libido killers include stress, anxiety, and fatigue.Make sure your wife has time to relax.She can help out more around the house, take the kids to the park in the morning so she can have some quiet time, or just be supportive when she needs it.Mental health professionals can help your wife if she has an anxiety disorder.
Step 3: Help her feel good about herself.
If your wife is worried about her looks, she might shy away from being intimate.Tell her that you think she is pretty.She knows you mean it if you compliment her on a regular basis.You could say things like, "I love the way you look in that outfit," or "You look really nice today."
Step 4: It's a good idea to exercise with your wife.
A lagging libido can be helped by working out.Even if you just take a walk, encourage your wife to join you for workouts.You can sneak more one-on-one time into your day by working out together.You can either go for a hike on the nearby trail or swim at the local pool.
Step 5: Tell your wife how you are.
Your wife needs to know how her lack of libido is affecting you.Be honest with her.Frame the issue as a problem that both of you are facing, not something that she is doing to you.You could say, "I really value being close and intimate with you, and when you don't want to have sex, I feel shut out."I am aware that you are not having an easy time with this issue.If you say, "You don't care about me," your wife will feel attacked.
Step 6: Discuss your wife's sexual preferences.
Ask your wife what she likes in bed.Look for common ground in your preferences if you tell her about your own likes and dislikes.Discuss if you would like to try new things together.You and she might take turns finishing the following sentences.
Step 7: It's a good idea to experiment in the bedroom.
Try things you wouldn't normally do.Use props, give each other massages, light some candles, or do something else you haven't done before.It is possible to reignite the spark between you and your wife with some different activities.It is important to remember that women need more foreplay than men, so take your time and don't rush into intercourse.
Step 8: Continue to use more lubricant.
After they go through menopause, many women don't produce enough lubrication naturally.This can cause painful sex.Store-bought lubricant might make sex more comfortable for your wife if this is the case.
Step 9: Sex can be had at different times of the day.
If your wife is too tired or distracted to have sex at night, see if she is more receptive in the morning or afternoon.As they get older, people want sex at different times of the day.If your wife cares for young children, she may be too tired to have sex.
Step 10: Look at the time of the month.
At certain points in your wife's cycle, she may be more open to sex.Several days after their period ends, many women are interested in sex.The week before your wife starts her period is not a good time to have sex.Talk to your wife about how she feels at certain points in her cycle.You can ask your wife to track her cycle on a common calendar that both of you can view.
Step 11: If your wife is experiencing emotional problems, address them.
Marriage problems can affect a person's sex drive.Do your part to fix relationship issues unrelated to your sex life.If your wife is having personal problems, do your best to support her, and be patient as she works through them.If you and your wife have been arguing about your plans for the future, it probably has something to do with her lack of sex drive.Stress, family problems, and illness could be affecting your wife's sex drive.
Step 12: If your kids are affecting your sex life, make changes.
When a couple has young children, their sex life slows down.The hormones of your wife can be changed by pregnancy and breastfeeding.The physical changes of having kids can leave your wife feeling less sexy.If you have a baby in the house, do your best to be supportive.Kids don't need this much of your wife's attention when they grow up.Taking over watching the kids sometimes will allow your wife to catch up on sleep, work out, or take a relaxing bath.She may feel like having sex more often if she has time to take care of herself.
Step 13: Your wife should get a checkup.
Loss of libido can be a sign of a physical or mental illness.If you have tried a number of things and your wife isn't feeling any different, encourage her to see her doctor and rule out any medical causes for losing her sex drive.
Step 14: You can make an appointment with a therapist.
Sex therapy can help you and your wife deal with problems in your marriage.It can help both of you to talk about your feelings with a professional present.Don't hesitate to make an appointment and see how it goes, even a few sessions can help.