How To It's time to stop being rude to your parents.
It is commonplace to argue with your parents.It's easy to disrespect your parents in the heat of the moment, but it can damage your relationship with them.The result can include a loss of trust and respect.It is easy to break this habit and it will help you grow as a person and keep you in your parents' good graces.
Step 1: Don't let go of control.
Sometimes we act rudely because our emotions get the best of us.If you find yourself in a situation with your parents where you keep getting angry and angry, you need to find a way to calm down, collect your thoughts, and keep yourself from losing control.Count backwards from 10.Take a few deep breaths.Relax.Take a break by stepping outside the room.You should get a drink of water.When you are more together, ask to continue the discussion.
Step 2: Speak with care.
It's important to say what you mean and how you say it.Write out what you are going to say and imagine what their responses will be if you talk about a touchy subject.If something is said that might bother you, you can act out how the conversation might go in private so as to better prepare yourself.You can tell your parents that you need a moment to think.If you try to be clever and sarcastic at your parents, this will create a hostile atmosphere which could turn into a heated argument.Don't use name calling, cursing, sarcasm, and raising your voice.You will be treated as a mature adult if you approach the discussion that way."You always" and "you never" are statements that can sound like accusations and make people defensive.Try to use sentences like "I feel like you won't let me stay out after 10 o'clock" to express your feelings.
Step 3: Look at your body language.
Non-verbal communication with our bodies and not our mouths is referred to as body language.Your body can communicate aggression, anger, and disrespect even when you don't say anything.It's important to know what not to do in order to not send rude or aggressive messages since it makes up 50% of the message that you send to other people.Roll your eyes.Don't make gestures.Do not plug your ears or repeat after them.Don't stare at them.Don't act aggressively or clench your fists.If you cross your arms in front of your chest it will tell someone you're defensive or not listening.Keep yourself relaxed.
Step 4: You should listen to your parents.
You should stop listening to what your parents are telling you if you don't agree with what they're saying.Ignoring them or trying to talk over them will only make the situation worse.It's just as important to know how to listen to another person as it is to speak.
Step 5: Don't push a subject if you know when to stop.
If your parents tell you that a topic is no longer up for discussion, let it go.It will not win you any points if you continue to push them after they have told you to stop.If someone continued to bother you after you asked them to stop, how would you feel?
Step 6: Don't walk away suddenly.
It is okay to need and ask for a break in the conversation, but you should never leave without saying so first.If you walk away without warning, your parents may think you are trying to disrespect them by ignoring what they're saying.
Step 7: Don't act aggressively.
Most people know that it's not okay to hit or kick other people, but this also applies to other aggressive acts, like slamming doors or throwing things.You will most likely get into trouble if someone gets hurt.If you find yourself regularly getting so angry that you lose control and want to hit, kick, or break things, you may need to talk with your parents about seeking anger counseling.
Step 8: I would like to apologize for my behavior.
If you behave rudely, it's important to make peace with your parents.Your parents care about you even if you disagree with them.You may hurt their feelings and be disrespectful when you are rude to them."I'm sorry for rolling my eyes at you" is an expression of regret for a specific action.It acknowledges that the action was bad for the other person and that it made them angry.It should say that you want to change.I'm trying to change my behavior.I will try not to do that again.Apologizing for doing wrong is a sign of maturity.It will help mend any broken ties between you and your parents, and it will show them you are trying to be an adult.If you find it easier to say an apology, you can always put it in writing.You should sound like you mean it when you say it.If you don't receive an insincere apology, it's worse than if you do.
Step 9: Be aware of rude behaviors.
Think back to your interactions with your parents, whether they were arguments or regular conversations.Did you refuse to listen, roll your eyes, yell, or curse at them?All of these actions are rude.How would I feel if someone did that to me?Chances are, what you did was rude.
Step 10: Empathize with your parents.
Being able to understand other people's feelings is an important skill that takes effort to develop.Would I have been angry if my parents were on the receiving end?I don't know if I would have felt hurt.If someone treated me that way, what would I do?Understanding why they reacted the way they did will help you to be less angry.
Step 11: Write your decision down.
It will feel more real if you can see your decision written out.You can put the written declaration somewhere you will frequently see it, like on your mirror, your laptop, or in your pocket, to serve as a reminder to you.Write a statement that is specific and descriptive.You need to avoid certain behaviors, such as rolling your eyes or mouthing off, if you write about them.If you realize later that you forgot something, don't be afraid to add more.
Step 12: You have to figure out why you act this way.
Whether they know it or not, everybody does things for a reason.You can think of it as your motivation.Do you know what you're getting out of acting this way?Your reason could be anything from a feeling of control in your relationship, relief from frustration, retaliation from having your own feelings hurt, or maybe even you're hoping to look cool in front of friends or siblings.
Step 13: There are other ways to satisfy yourself.
You can start thinking of alternative ways to achieve your goals once you have identified what you are actually getting out of your rude behavior.You will be less likely to depend on it once you no longer need to be rude to satisfy your needs.If you're angry, instead of making fun of them, yell into a pillow or use fun phrases, like "that hoovers," or "great goofy goblins."If peer pressure is making you act a certain way, ask to have discussions with your parents privately so you can be rational.
Step 14: Good behavior should be rewarded.
Rewarding yourself for doing the right thing is important.You don't feel like you are constantly failing if you do well.It is an incentive to do well in the future.A good reward could be anything from a slice of cake to a nice hot bubble bath.You should stop getting rewards eventually.The point is to be good for the sake of being good, not so you can treat yourself to nice things.
Step 15: Ask your parents if they can help.
Changing your ways to be less rude is for your parents' sake, so obviously their opinions and feelings matter.Positive and negative feedback from your parents can help you with this process.Ask them to communicate with you when things go wrong and when you do something right.If you didn't raise your voice in a discussion about not being allowed to go to a concert, ask your parents to praise you and specifically state what you did right.Encourage your parents to communicate their feelings when things go wrong, like "I feel hurt when you make nasty faces at me like that."
Step 16: Don't beat yourself up.
You're going to mess up even after you make a decision to change, because everybody makes mistakes.It is pointless to feel sorry for or angry at yourself.You won't improve if you regret things or hate yourself.Instead, think about what went wrong, what you can do to prevent it from happening again, and move on.