Whether you've gone on three dates or barely know each other, it can be hard to tell a guy you aren't interested.You will feel relieved once the truth is out and the guy will be able to move on.You can let the guy down if you know how to say it.
Step 1: Decide if you want to talk to him in person.
If you're dating him, you owe him the courtesy of breaking up with him in person.It is possible to just respond virtually if he asks you out via text or email.It can save you the pain of having to see his sad face in person when you tell him you're not interested, and it can leave him with more dignity.If it's a close friend or someone you've dated for a while, you have to make the call and see what would be the most respectful thing to do.Make sure you talk to him yourself, even if you're not in person.He won't feel great if you have one of your friends deliver the message.
Step 2: If you don't want to date him, be honest.
If you don't like the guy, you have to tell the truth.If he asks, say something like, "I'm sorry, but I just don't see anything romantic happening between us" or " I really like you as a person."Keep it short and simple, but let him know that you don't want to go out with him, so he can stay out of trouble.You don't have to tell him all of the reasons why you do not want to date him if he keeps asking you for reasons.Don't let that make him feel worse, even if he wants that.
Step 3: Give a valid reason.
You can tell him if you don't feel the chemistry.Say so if you're not into dating right now.Let him know if you have a crush on someone else.You can spare him these details if you really don't like him because he's not attractive or annoying.No man wants to hear you say, "I'm just not into you."Think of a reason that would not hurt his feelings.He doesn't catch you in the middle of a lie if you know what reason you're going to give in advance.Don't say you like someone else.He will be able to figure it out quickly.Don't say you're not ready for a relationship if you like someone else.If he sees you hanging out with another guy, then he'll feel like a fool because you lied to him.If you're coming from a place of honesty, you can hurt someone's feelings.
Step 4: Make sure you are firm.
You have to make it clear that you don't see the guy as a romantic prospect, because you can be nice about it.He will think you are telling him that he will have better chances if he just holds.He will only feel worse when it takes him a long time to realize that he doesn't have a chance with you.Being extra firm is better than being vague, because the worst thing you can do is lead the guy on.
Step 5: Don't be mean to him.
Don't tell him that he's not smart, cool, or attractive for you.You will get a reputation for being mean and not thinking of others.Don't insult him, even if you think you're giving him the cold hard truth, because you must think he's a nice guy.When you're talking to him, give him all of your attention.He will feel insulted if you keep checking your phone.
Step 6: Don't use cliches.
Don't say things like "I'm not ready for a relationship with you" or "You deserve better than me."It's better to be honest without hurting him, because you're just not feeling it.Feeding him lines will make him feel worse than letting him know that you will never want to be in a relationship with him.
Step 7: Keep it short.
It's time to part ways, either forever or for now, after you've said your piece.It will only make both of you feel worse if he keeps talking and hearing why it won't work out.Prepare an exit strategy in advance if you think this may be a problem with this particular guy.It will be more awkward if you have nothing else to do.
Step 8: Say so if you want to stay friends.
If you and the guy really do have a great friendship, you can tell him how much it means to you, and let him know that you don't want to ruin it.He'll see that you're just trying to make him feel better if you say you want to be friends with someone you barely know.If you've been friends for a while, you can point out to him what a great friend he has been to you.It's okay if he doesn't want to hang out with you for a while if you really are friends.He may not be ready to start seeing you as a friend again for a while.
Step 9: Give him time.
You should give him space after you reject him.He may not be ready to talk to you just yet, so you may try to be friends or ask for a homework assignment.Give him some time to get to know you as a friend.If it takes him longer than you think, don't be hurt.
Step 10: You should act normal the next time you see him.
When you hang out with him, don't look at him like a wounded puppy or try to ignore him.If he comes up to talk to you, act natural and be kind.He's probably not ready to face you so you don't have to take the initiative.He knows that he can be friends with you even though he was rejected, because you act like it's no big deal.
Step 11: You should not tell everyone what happened.
The guy should not have his fifty closest friends know what happened.If you tell your friends that you rejected him, they will act weird around him and he will know.He doesn't deserve to be treated this way if he is a nice guy.If a guy rejected you, you don't want him to tell his friends, would you?
Step 12: Don't treat him badly.
Don't be mean or rude if you are talking to him again.If he's trying to be nice to you, the least you can do is smile.You don't have to spend a lot of time with him, but if you do cross paths, treat him with decency.Don't flirt, touch, or be nice, he may be getting mixed singles or he has another chance.Empathetic to him above everything else.Even if you don't want to date him, he must be hurting because you rejected him.