You can learn to keep your friends and family close if you don't get down on yourself.Work on healing the root causes of your avoidance.Make your relationships a priority by being more open with others.Make sure you don't drive people away with personality quirks.
Step 1: Before you push someone away, think about how you are feeling.
People don't let others in because they're afraid of something.Ask yourself what you were scared of when you pushed someone away.You will be in a better position to make changes once you understand why you act this way.If you've been hurt or traumatised in a previous relationship, you may want to push people away.Journaling or free-writing can help you figure out what's going on.Write down everything that comes to mind when you think of relationships.Review what you came up with after a few minutes.You might be afraid that people will dislike you or that they will take advantage of you once you start to trust them.
Step 2: Increase your self-esteem.
People with low self-esteem push other people away because they don't think they deserve a good relationship.Negative self-talk can reinforce your feelings of being disconnected from others if you're low in self esteem.You might say things like "I don't deserve happiness" or "People hate me".You feel worse because of these statements.You can promote a healthy self-esteem by listing your best qualities."I try to show compassion for others" and " I am a great listener" can be turned into powerfulAffirmations.These statements should be repeated several times a day.
Step 3: Look at your trust levels.
Trust issues are one of the reasons behind a push and pull relationship.It can be hard to let go of your walls if you've been hurt in the past.You have to risk being hurt again in order to stop this pattern.The only way to earn your trust is by giving others the chance.It is possible to voice your concerns to a new partner.Ask them to be patient and work with you because you have trouble trusting.Give a new partner the chance to be with you.You could ask them to support you with a passion project or attend a social gathering with you.You might increase the level of trust you have in them if they come through for you.
Step 4: You should be open about your readiness.
You might push others away because you are at different places.One person might want to be close to the other person.The health of the relationship can be affected if you and the other person are on different wavelength.You can learn about your readiness for different types of intimacy by sharing it with the other person.You might push a friend away if they disclose personal information early in the friendship.If you don't know how to communicate that, you push the person away.You could say, "I appreciate you for sharing that with me, but I hope you can understand if I am unable to share it with you right now."It takes me a while to open up.It's not just intimate disclosures that need to be prepared for intimacy.
Step 5: Guilt can be replaced with empathy.
If you hurt someone you care about, you could react to the feelings of guilt by pushing them away.When you hurt a loved one, try to push them away.Step outside of your own experience into that person's.They may have been hurt.Think about how the situation must have felt for that person.How would you feel if the same thing happened to you?You can apologize for any wrongdoing once you have tried to understand the person.It is necessary for you to connect with the other person's experience in order to not close them out.
Step 6: See a therapist.
A therapist can help you change your ways by yourself.They can help you identify the thoughts and feelings that lead to pushing people away.A therapist will be able to help you change your habits.
Step 7: Let your comfort level guide you.
How comfortable are you opening up to someone?It's okay to guard yourself when you don't feel comfortable because you may feel more vulnerable at certain times.Make a list of what you are comfortable with and what makes you uncomfortable.When you're with someone, take small steps to push yourself closer to them while still respecting your comfort level.You can start by saying nice things to a coworker.You can give them a small token of friendship, such as a donut or coffee.You could invite them to do something when you're ready.
Step 8: There is a friendly demeanor.
You should greet people when you see them.If someone makes small talk with you, it's a good idea to participate in the conversation.Say hello and ask how they are when you see someone you know.Start slowly if you are shy because you might be used to minding your own business in public.Make eye contact and smile.You should start chatting with people more often when you feel more comfortable.
Step 9: Stay alert.
Be willing to meet new people.Take an optimistic view of your relationships if you see the good side of them.Accept any new opportunities that come your way.If your classmate asks you to study with her later, say yes even if you don't like it.Give her and yourself a chance.
Step 10: Ask people questions about themselves.
It is possible to build connections with other people by being interested in them.Try to find out more about your friends and family.Ask your friends about any projects they are working on or issues they have been dealing with recently.If you know the person well, you can ask questions like, "Why did you major in architecture?" or "How are you liking your new apartment?"
Step 11: You can share things about yourself.
You have to talk about yourself too if you want to maintain a friendship.Share more of your thoughts and personality quirks as you get to know people.It will make them feel invested in the relationship if you open up to others.It would be nice to share your own dreams with your friends.I've always secretly dreamed of spending a year traveling the world.Tell your friends that you are trying to stop pushing them away.Your friends will understand you better.If you let them, they may be able to help you.
Step 12: Stay in touch.
Do your best to keep someone in your life once you have connected with them.Even if you feel anxious, don't cancel your social plans.Call or text your friends if you don't hear from them for a while.It can be difficult to keep in touch with people if you are used to avoiding them.If you want to keep people around, you have to stay on their radar.Don't leave your friends hanging if you're not talking.I can't meet you today, but I'd love to see you soon.What about Thursday?
Step 13: Repairs damaged relationships.
If you can't keep up with someone you care about, email them or call them.apologize for any hurt you caused them, and explain why you pushed them away.promise to treat them better in the future if they are willing to revive the relationship.If a former friend doesn't want to revive the friendship, accept their answer and leave them alone, but let them know they can contact you if they change their mind.It is not possible to fix a broken relationship overnight.It will take a better friend to make things right in the long run.
Step 14: Being clingy is not a good idea.
Don't smother people with attention.Don't get them to text you or hang out with you every day.If you are clingy, you can find hobbies and goals to keep you busy.If you join a club that allows you to meet new friends, you'll be able to spend more time with them.
Step 15: Do you want to complain too much?
Do you complain about the food, the weather, or other people?People will start avoiding you if you are a negative Nancy.If a complaint pops into your head, try to find something positive to say.Start practicing gratitude to counteract complaints.You are less likely to complain when you know what you have.You should write down at least two to three things you are grateful for each day.
Step 16: Take and give in your relationships.
People might not want to be around you if you always look for a favor and never help others.Make sure you don't ask for too much from other people, and give your friends and acquaintances a hand when they need it.
Step 17: Is it necessary for you to get a lot of validation from others?
It can be difficult to deal with a person who needs constant attention or someone who fishes for praise all the time.Make sure you are not doing this.If you have low self-esteem, look for a healthier way to feel good about yourself.You could raise your self-esteem by getting involved in a sport, volunteering, or taking care of your health.
Step 18: Problems in relationships can be addressed.
Conflict is a part of every relationship.Most of your relationships will end on bad terms if you bury your head in the sand whenever you have a disagreement with someone.Don't hide from conflict, talk it through with the other person and find a solution.