Sex is part of growing up.You might think it's time to talk about sex with your teen.If you have a teenager, it's time to make sure they understand the physical and emotional components of becoming sexually active.It might be difficult to have this conversation, but it is necessary.You can make this talk constructive for you and your teen by taking a few steps.
Step 1: Don't forget to plan ahead.
It can be hard to talk to a teenager about sex.It can feel awkward.You will feel more confident and comfortable if you are prepared.You should write down your main points.Think about what you want to say during this talk.Do you want to tell people about safe sex?Write it down.Do you want your teen to know where to get birth control?Write it down on a piece of paper.Take time to practice.Go over your notes with a friend or in front of a mirror.It's up to you to discuss sex with your teen.Go ahead and answer if they start asking questions at an early age.You can wait until your teen is a little older if they don't seem interested.They are ready to learn when they go through puberty.
Step 2: Prepare for questions.
It's helpful to plan in advance.You can try to anticipate certain reactions if you know how your teen will respond.Your teen might have a lot of questions.How will I know if I'm ready to have sex?There is no rush, and there are lots of other ways to be intimate."What if I'm pressured to have sex?" is a common question.You could say, "No one has the right to pressure you."You have the power to make your own choices.Teens will use the opportunity to discuss sexuality.A teen may ask, "What if I think I'm gay?"Let your teen know that you love them and offer to help them sort through their feelings.
Step 3: Talk about facts and beliefs.
Sex is entwined with religion for many people.Talking to your child about sex should include both facts and beliefs.Talk about the two.Make sure your values are clear.Tell your teen that you believe in waiting until marriage for sex.You should be aware that your teen might have different values.I would prefer that you wait until you are married.I'm always willing to listen to you if you have other ideas.There are a lot of people who have certain beliefs about sex.There are differences between community beliefs and scientific facts.Your faith may prohibit the use of birth control.The facts of the science can still be explained.Try not to preach."I'm happy to listen to you and answer questions, but you can make your point of view clear."
Step 4: Discuss the physical aspects of sex.
When you are figuring out what you want to say, make sure to include some facts about sex.Depending on your teen's age and knowledge, you may want to explain the mechanics of intercourse."Can you tell me what you already know?" is a good start.Discuss the male and female reproductive systems.Do you want me to take a few minutes to make sure you understand how a baby is born?Be honest.Don't shy away from discussing bodily functions and use the proper names for body parts.Discuss Sexually Transmitted Infections.Make sure your teen knows about the risks of having sex without a condom.
Step 5: Talk about the consequences.
It's a good idea to discuss the emotional aspects of sex with your teen.A lot of new feelings can be caused by your teen becoming sexually active.Discuss emotional changes with one another.Sex is very intimate and can be explained to your teen.They might start to feel closer to their partner.Make sure your teen knows the importance of a healthy relationship.The person they date should show them respect and kindness and make them feel good about themselves.Discuss emotional consequences.Make sure your teen knows about rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse.
Step 6: Prepared to give accurate information.
You want your teen to understand sex after this talk.Make sure the facts are accurate.If you don't know anything, look it up before you speak.It's okay if you don't know how to use birth control.You want your teen to have as much information as possible?Take some time to explore the website and learn something new.Your teen might ask a question that you don't know the answer to.You can't possibly know everything.I'm happy to help you find the answer if that happens.
Step 7: You should choose the right time.
The goal is to talk to your teen about sex.You should have a discussion, not give a lecture.Pick a time that is convenient for both of you.The car is a good place to have a conversation with a teen.You can talk without distraction.You can find a teachable moment.It is a good idea to start a conversation organically.The topic should be brought up when there is a natural opening.The story line of the tv show may involve teenage sex.You can ask your teen, "Is that something you've been thinking about?"Maybe you have a family member who recently had a baby.If your teen has any questions, you can ask them.
Step 8: Be curious.
You and your teen might have different opinions about sex.It is okay to speak your mind.It's important to show that you're open-minded.You can tell your teen that you won't judge them.Say, "I'm here to listen, not to judge you."It is possible to look at things from a different point of view.Help your teen make their own decisions.You can say, "I've never thought of that before."What makes you feel like that?
Step 9: Actively listen.
A good conversation can happen when both you and your teen are active.Your teen can ask questions and express their feelings.Show your teen that you care.Pay attention.If you give your teen your full attention, they will not be distracted by trying to fix dinner or answer an e-mail.Make sure to maintain eye contact.This will let your teen know that you are listening.Demonstrating that you are listening is a good way to do it.Say that you feel pressured to have sex.That must be very confusing.
Step 10: Be honest.
It's important to talk about sex with your teen.You want to make sure your teen is safe.Being honest is the best way to do that.You might want to tell your teen not to have sex before marriage."Did you wait?" is a question they might ask.The response should be honest.I wish that I would have, but I didn't.Don't scare your teen by making up facts.They should not be told inaccurate facts about how STDs are transmitted.The best way to keep them safe is with accurate information.
Step 11: Discuss a follow-up topic.
The lines of communication are open.Let your teen know that they can talk about sex at any time.The initial conversation doesn't have to answer all of the questions."I know that's a lot of information to handle," you can say.Let me know if you have any questions later."If you find yourself in a new situation, feel free to come to me," you can say.It's a good idea to check in a few days after the initial talk.Thanks for being honest the other day.Is there anything else that you have thought about?
Step 12: Additional information should be offered.
Your teen may be hesitant to discuss sex with you.It's normal to be reluctant.Tell your teen that you are there to help.You can give them more information.If your teen is interested in sex, you can give them a book to read.There are several useful works on figuring out sexuality.Direct them to a website.There are a variety of sex-related topics offered by the organization.
Step 13: It's a good idea to consult friends or family.
It might be difficult to talk about sex with your teen.It can be frightening.If you need advice, ask for it.A friend or family member can help you out.I need some advice on how to talk to Adam about sex.Any ideas?You can ask a pastor or rabbi.The people are good at helping families communicate.Do some research.There are many books and websites that can help you figure out the right approach.
Step 14: The boundaries should be set.
Being open-minded doesn't mean you give up control in the relationship.Make sure your teen knows that there are still rules.You should clearly outline the boundaries of your house.Maybe you don't want your teen alone in the house with their boyfriend or girlfriend.You can make it clear.It's okay to set a curfew.The fact that your teen is sexually active doesn't mean they are an adult.For more information, ask.If your teen tells you that they are having sex, you have the right to ask what kind of birth control they use.
Step 15: You should be supportive.
Making sure your teen knows they can count on you is the most important part of talking about sex.It can be difficult to become an adult.A big difference can be made by your support.Tell your teen you love them."No matter what, I will always love you."You can remind them that you are trustworthy.You are there to help and listen, remind them that.