You may have a habit of making others mad or hurting their feelings by saying whatever comes to your mind.Maybe the problem isn't your wild tongue, but someone you know and care about.Learning to think about what is said and the impact of a wild tongue can help tame it.
Step 1: You should calm down.
Some people have a tendency to put their foot in their mouth.Research shows that you are more likely to make a faux pas if you're already stressed out.It's possible to calm down and control your tongue.Take a few deep breaths if you get nervous and say things you later regret.It's a good idea to see the encounter going well.Imagine being in control of yourself and your tongue.
Step 2: Take 10.
Give yourself 10 seconds to think about what you are saying before you speak.If you still think it's a good idea to speak after 10 seconds, then go ahead.It is possible that taking ten will make your rude remark irrelevant by that time.10 seconds can make for an awkward pause when the person is waiting on you.Take three seconds to think about what you said.Take the time to think about something else.It's a good idea to take a 10-second break before you reply to something online.Don't post something that you might regret later.
Step 3: Consider the consequences.
Think about the effect your words will have on the other person and the situation in general.How would I feel if someone said this to me?What feelings will this comment bring up for the other person?One way to learn to hold your words in is to realize the embarrassment and damage they can cause.People remember how you make them feel even though they forgive you.The person might not say anything, but it could hurt your relationship with him.Do you want to upset the other person?Why if so?Hurting him with your words is not the way to address the situation.It could make the problem worse.When you complain or tear someone down, there is very little to gain.
Step 4: Don't say it, think it.
Everyone has thought negatively about someone or a situation at one time or another.It is natural.Problems only start when the thoughts become words that hurt other people.When controlling your tongue, think what you want, but only say what is appropriate.If you can't think of anything positive to say, just smile, nod, and change the subject.If a friend tells you she had a new look, don't say that she looks like a clown.Say something like, what made you want to change your look?
Step 5: Accept what you said.
If you said something out of line, admit it.Don't just ignore it and move on.It's important to admit that you shouldn't have said what you did.Think about what you could have done differently.You might think that his attitude really rubbed me the wrong way.I went off on him because I felt defensive.Don't wait for someone else to correct you, I could have calmed down before I responded to him.Most people know when a comment crosses the line before someone points it out.Taking responsibility for your words is on your own.Say, "What I just said came out much harsher than I intended."
Step 6: Give an apology immediately.
If you think that your comment was offensive, rude or has hurt someone, you should apologize as soon as possible.Apologizing right away will mean a lot to the people you offended.After acknowledging what you said, say something like, "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for."There is no excuse for what I said and I am working on controlling my tongue.I will do my best to make sure that doesn't happen again.This will allow you to explain more about what you said and why, as well as how you are trying to tame your tongue.If your comment was directed at a specific person, then you can either remove it or send a private message to apologize.
Step 7: If needed, apologize publicly.
If your words affect a lot of people, you may need to offer a public apology.It helps tame your wild tongue by making you apologize to the people you hurt.If you made a rude comment in front of a group of people, you should apologize to the group, not the individual.It is a good idea to post a public apology for online comments that are offensive.
Step 8: Move on from the event.
You cannot un-ring a bell according to an old adage.Take time to apologize and think about how you can behave differently in the future.Reflecting on the incident, apologizing, and moving forward with what you have learned from the situation can help you to tame your tongue in the future.Next time, make a goal to do better.When you feel that you are getting the crowd better, you should restart the 10-second pause.It's a good idea to be cautious with what you say around that particular person.
Step 9: Protect your career.
If you use profanity at work, you could be reprimanded or even fired.Think about your career in the future.When giving feedback, make sure to put a bit of criticism between the two positive notes.I can tell you put a lot of effort into this.It would be even stronger if we added more.In meetings or other group discussions, be sure to take a 10-second pause.Don't let your guard down in the break roomDon't let the informal setting get the better of you.Don't gossip, put others down, obscenities, etc., because you are still at work.
Step 10: Your reputation is important.
Studies show that people who use profanity, insult and sarcasm are less intelligent, mature and able to handle stress.Make sure that your wild tongue does not interfere with what you want your reputation to be.Say things that show your intelligence, maturity, and problem-solving skills.
Step 11: Consider your relationships.
Some of the things you say when your tongue is running wild could be upsetting your loved ones or making your significant other question whether she wants to stay together.Thinking about the effects of your words will help you tame your tongue.Do your words and tone make your partner feel that you don't care about her?Have family members said that the things you say hurt them?Ask your loved ones if your wild tongue is affecting them.
Step 12: You should think about your motives.
Figuring out why and when you have a wild tongue can help you tame it.Think about why you would say something rude.Consider if your tongue runs wild in certain situations.Is it a natural reaction for you?Are you not good at communication?Is this something you have always had trouble with?Does being around people make your tongue run wild?Do you want to tell your co-worker off all the time?Are you looking for attention?Do you think this is a way to get people to notice you?Do you think it happens more often when you are nervous, stressed or defensive?Do you put your foot in your mouth if you are put on the spot or in an uncomfortable situation?
Step 13: Limit the use of alcohol and other substances.
Being drunk can cause us to say things we regret.If alcohol is a factor in loosened tongue and if you are concerned about it, limit or completely avoid alcohol.If you know that alcohol lowers your inhibitions and makes you say things you later regret, it might be a good idea to have no drinks at all.This way you don't have to worry about offending your boss or getting fired.
Step 14: Become a listening person.
Many people who offend spend a lot of time talking.Make a conscious choice to listen when someone is talking instead of thinking about what you can say in return.If you listen to the person, you can get clues as to what sensitive areas you should avoid.Try asking the person an open-ended question, such as, "What did you do then?" or "How are you feeling about that?"
Step 15: Avoid topics that are sensitive.
Take finances, race, romance, religion, politics and so on.If you are talking to people outside of a circle, it's off the table.These topics are related to people's beliefs.People can become offended by your wild tongue.Don't talk about these things if other people are talking about them.If possible, steer the conversation in a different direction.If you have to comment, remember to take a 10-second break to think about what you are saying and the impact it will have.Some jokes or sarcasm can be seen as discrimination.