Maybe you've been dating someone for a while or maybe you just started.You don't want to go that far at this point, but your partner wants to have sex.You don't want your partner to feel rejected.Knowing a few facts will make it easier for you to tell them you're not ready.
Step 1: When to have sex is up to you.
It is a personal decision to have sex.You have the right to decide when, where, how, and with whom that takes place.Determine and analyze your reasons for having sex.They should not include pleasing others while ignoring your own comfort with the decision.You should insist that others respect your needs as well.Sex is a decision that you should make with your partner.
Step 2: Peer pressure shouldn't affect your decision.
If you want to wait before having sex, trust your feelings.Knowing yourself allows you to stand your ground against peer pressure.Don't believe your peers when they say that everyone is having sex.The decision to have sex belongs to you, not to your peers.If you find yourself in a situation where you feel pressured, have a backup plan and spend time with friends who are like-minded when it comes to sex.
Step 3: Every time you think of having sex, recognize that it's about ready.
"Ready" isn't just about the first time you have sex in your life, and it's not just with a particular person.It's always your choice, and it is always active.At any time, you can change your mind.
Step 4: It's a good idea to take your time in choosing when to have sex.
Make sure you are ready.Don't put pressure on yourself.It is a big decision to have sex without thinking it through or to please someone else.Sex will happen in its own time.
Step 5: There are reasons why you don't want to have sex.
Write down your reasons on a piece of paper and rehearse them in front of a mirror.When your partner asks, you'll have a ready answer.There are a few reasons you may want to include.There are religious reasons for it.They went against their personal beliefs.Ensuring legalitySexually transmitted infections can be prevented.There is a need for more emotional connection.A committed relationship is what I want.It's important that each person is monogamous.Knowing that partners are free of STDs.It is necessary to build safety and trust.It isn't the right time for you.I don't want to have sex with someone.
Step 6: It's a good idea to practice responses to what your partner may say to get you to have sex.
If your partner brings up a reason why you should have sex, have a response ready to go.Remember your reasons, your partner can sound convincing.They need to be handled as a form of manipulation."If you loved me, you would," your partner would say.If you loved me, you wouldn't want me to do something I'm not ready for.If your partner says that everyone else is doing it, you can say that you're not having sex.People use common lines to try to have sex.You can make statements to counter them.
Step 7: It is a good enough reason to not have sex.
The period is over.You can only vote on when you will have sex.Don't be defensive with your decision.Just like you don't need a good reason not to eat ice cream if you want to have sex.
Step 8: Explain that you don't want to have sex.
Your partner can clearly understand why you are making the choice.You may want to say that things are going too fast if you're getting intimate.Let's slow down.I'm not ready for this.You can say "I really like being with you" if you're not physically intimate.We don't need sex for our time together to be special.I like the way things are and I'm not ready for sex.You can say "I don't want to have sex now" on the phone.I'm not ready.I don't need to have sex with you to show I care for you.Sex can mean different things to different people.There are other ways to show I care.
Step 9: Talk to your partner about your feelings.
They're not left guessing why you don't want to have sex.Good communication leads to intimacy and emotional safety.Unless you are in danger, be open and honest with your partner.If you don't feel comfortable talking about sex with them, that's a sign that you should not be doing it.Tell them what you don't want.They know how you want to be with them.There are a number of reasons why you don't want to have sex.You will have to communicate your reasons in a way that is understandable.
Step 10: Evaluate their responses to find out more about your relationship.
Listen to what your partner says because you will understand them more.After your conversation, you may want to think about what your partner is saying and doing.You will have more time to think about it.
Step 11: What kind of responses are you willing to accept from your partner?
Sex and other preferences will be respected by someone who really respects you.If their responses are not satisfactory, consider rethinking the relationship and possibly leaving them.Sex doesn't always bring emotional intimacy.Good communication, trust, and respect are the foundation of emotional intimacy.If a person respectfully responds to you saying what you want and don't want to do, that's a good sign.You're on the way to having a good relationship with that person.If your partner is disrespectful, tries to manipulate you, or keeps pressuring you to have sex, this is a sign that they're more interested in getting their own needs met than they are about engaging in a balanced, healthy relationship.It is important to know what to look for in a partner.It's important to know what healthy relationships look like.
Step 12: If you feel unsafe leave the situation.
Don't allow yourself to be manipulated.Go to a safe place if you sense that the person might violate your boundaries or harm you.Trust your instincts.You should only meet your partner in public if you feel unsafe with them.Make sure you aren't being followed.Ask your friends or family to help.You should have a safety plan.
Step 13: Clarify what a healthy relationship looks like.
A healthy relationship respects each other's boundaries.Your partner will support you and listen to you.Pressure to have sex is a sign of an abusive relationship.Your partner may tell you what to do.You can determine if you are in an abusive situation by reading about the warning signs.
Step 14: Setting healthy boundaries is not just sexual.
Closeness and respect come from honoring each other's boundaries, regardless of whether or not we agree with them.You get to decide what you share with your partner.There are many people out there who will also respect your needs and boundaries and with whom you can find intimacy, so make sure you stay in relationships where your boundaries are respected and you are in a relationship that always practices consent.Those relationships are worth it.
Step 15: Break up in a safe way.
If you are worried about your partner becoming angry, violent, or abusive, then you may want to consider breaking up over the phone, email or text.It may seem unfeeling, but it may be the only way out of a potentially abusive situation.Your priority should be your safety.Make sure you're in a public place if you have to talk to them face to face.
Step 16: Take your time and wait until you are ready to have sex.
Sex is only one of many ways to be close to someone.When is the right time for you to have sex?It is always your decision when to have sex, so celebrate your choice to wait, and enjoy those activities you do choose.