Finding out a guy is using you for sex can be painful, but it's also the first step in leaving a toxic relationship behind and moving on to better things.If you suspect a guy is using you, there are some behaviors and patterns you can look out for.
Step 1: He may only contact you after dark.
If your guy only calls you after the sun has set and the stars come out, it's not because he is in the mood for astronomy.He's definitely in the mood.It's likely that he only has sex on the brain if you don't hear from him until after-hours.
Step 2: He may only contact you on the weekdays.
If he gets in touch with you on week nights, but never on the weekends, it's because he doesn't want to date women that he thinks are worth dating.His schedule is wide open if you don't hear from him until rarely on Friday or Saturday nights.
Step 3: He may only contact you occasionally.
He may just want you for sex if you only hear from him once or twice a week.If you can't get a hold of him when you want to see how he's doing, then he must be ready for some more convenient late night time.
Step 4: Unless you want to hook up, watch if he doesn't respond.
Text him, "How's your day going?"How was your big test?He doesn't want to make small talk when he hears nothing but crickets in the woods.You have a problem if you text him "I want to see you" one night and he puts his foot on the gas pedal.
Step 5: If he's always so busy.
If your guy can never make time for dinner and a movie but can always catch up between the sheets, then he's not busy -- he just wants to get busy.If you know that he has time to hang out with friends, go to sporting events, and spend hours watching TV with his brother, but when he's too busy to grab coffee on a Sunday afternoon, then he doesn't want to make time for you.
Step 6: If he doesn't invite you anywhere, watch.
If he only calls you to hang out at your place or to catch up with him on the couch, then he doesn't want to do anything that involves your body.If you feel like you almost never see the outside world together, then he doesn't want you to be a part of his everyday life.
Step 7: Do you never talk about your personal life?
Your relationship is mostly about sex if you only talk about hooking up or how much you want each other.If it's been a long time and you haven't progressed past the sex sex phase, then many relationships can start off like that.He is trying to manipulate you if you are the only one who knows all the details of your past, relationships, etc.You can see how he reacts when you ask him what he's thinking.You have a problem if he immediately backs off.
Step 8: Do you feel like all you do is have sex?
Do you spend a lot of time in the boudoir?Is this balancing out with a lot of other activities or is it the main activity the two of you spend together?It is likely that he is only interested in your relationship for sex if it takes more time to develop a range of interests.Is he requiring you to perform more sexual acts that you don't like?If you feel that way, you have to follow your gut.
Step 9: He might leave after a love making session.
If he doesn't contact you after a love making session.Does he usually stay the night?You're not the love of his life if you are.He doesn't want to spend the night with you because it will feel too much like a real relationship, if he gives you perfunctory kiss and then starts throwing on his clothes.It's even worse if he always gives a convenient excuse for why he has to go, or doesn't contact or is always so busy.He may tell you that he has to wake up early.Why did he wait until 1 a.m. to come over?
Step 10: If you don't kiss without it, it leads to sex.
In most relationships, people kiss to show affection, to feel a connection, and to be intimate in a quick and enjoyable fashion.You can kiss when you're walking, in a dark bar, or on a Monday morning.He may think that he should only kiss you for sex if he starts reaching for your body parts every time you kiss.Take a look at his level of affection.Does he ever want to cuddle or hug just because he doesn't have a sexual connection?It might be because he only wants one thing.
Step 11: Do you have ever hung out with his friends?
Have you been hooking up with him for months, but never meeting his friends?Does he hang out with his friends all the time but never invite you to join him?He doesn't want to invest that much in your relationship, or there may be some other girls hanging around who he wants to keep away from you, so he's too embarrassed to bring you around.
Step 12: If he doesn't reveal personal information, you should.
Guys who use a woman for sex give little or no information about themselves.Have you found out anything you didn't know about him from friends, personal observation, general conversations, past interactions, or has he volunteered personal and revelatory information about himself to you?This is a very telling point, so it is worth considering carefully.
Step 13: If he's bored, talk about yourself.
Do you think he gets bored quickly when you discuss your work, hobbies, activities, and daily issues?Does he try to stop the discussion and turn it into fixing everything with a cuddle on the couch?He might be trying to keep the relationship open so that he doesn't have feelings of guilt.He could give advice about all of your issues, but not reveal any of his, so that you can be involved in his life.
Step 14: He doesn't seem to care about how you're feeling.
Have you ever heard him ask if you're upset, how your day was, or just wonder why you had tears in your eyes?Chances are it's not because he is too shy to ask or awkward to help you, but he just doesn't care that much.If he's just into you for sex, you won't be a problem for him because of your messy feelings.
Step 15: He might tell you he doesn't want a relationship.
Even if they hear it, many women refuse to see what's in front of their eyes.If he said that he's just into casual dating and doesn't have time for a serious relationship, then he probably meant it.You might have thought he was trying to play hard to get, or that you could change him.If he has told you that he isn't interested in much more than sex, then you need to rethink your relationship.
Step 16: He may never talk about a future with you.
Have you been hooking up for months and haven't talked about what you're going to do when you see your guy next summer?Did you make any moves to get more serious after over a year of doing it?If he sees you as a temporary thing, he may not be ready to be your boyfriend.
Step 17: See if he talks about sex.
Is he interested in emotional discussions about his feelings?Is he talking to the two of you about where things are headed?Is it more you?Is he interested in whether you purchased new crotchless undies or if you went to the pharmacy this morning to get more supplies?Is it possible to try out that new sexual position?
Step 18: When he's around you, watch if his phone blows up.
If he shows up and his phone rings off the hook, it may be because the ladies are calling him 24/7.You're not the only girl in his life if he's texting as soon as you leave the room and puts his phone away when you show up.If he never leaves his phone unattended, it may be because he doesn't want you to see all of the sweet texts from his other side pieces.
Step 19: All the girls are on his Facebook.
If you are his Facebook friend, you better be.If there are tons of girls messaging him, if he's flirting all over the internet, and if there is a lot of photos of him with scantily-clad women, check out his profile.If that is the case, you know where he goes when he falls off the radar for five days because he's had a crazy week at work.It's not a good sign that he watches your every Facebook move if it looks like he rarely uses it.
Step 20: Do you know if you've been warned?
Have other women told you to stay away from him?Have you been told by your friends that he won't be your boyfriend?If you can't change him, then these are bright red flags that say it's time to call it quits.Don't think that you're different, or that these women do not know what they are talking about.Chances are, they're right if you've heard it from more than one person.
Step 21: If you haven't made any progress in your relationship, check it out.
Do you still haven't met his friends, talked about the upcoming months in your life, or done any of the normal things that normal people do?It's okay if it takes a long time for him to say "I love you" but if he hasn't said it in a while, things may not be moving forward.
Step 22: Go with your gut.
Don't sleep! Wake up!If you're considering this, you have a gut feeling that it's a possibility.You can assess the situation by looking around you.How is it making you happy?Are you happy?Are you satisfied with the relationship?Can you have a future with this guy?You need to start thinking about whether this relationship is worth the risk.Well, guess what?There is more where he came from.If you want to keep your sexuality, physical health, emotional sanity, and sense intact, put your self-esteem back where it belongs.