Every now and then a good rant is needed.You'll shred your vocal cords if you shout something at the top of your lungs.Everyone will be a lot better off if you do it in writing.You can learn to choose good subjects, nail the tone of your rant, and avoid an epic rant fail.
Step 1: You should choose a subject that is well informed.
It's a good idea to rant about an unfamiliar topic in order to get points for the issue or topic you're railing against.You should only talk about things you're familiar with.It's a good idea to do some research to make sure you're familiar with the topic or issue.Make your rant air-tight with specific facts if you think you're sure.If you think your opinion is iron-clad, try to bolster it with facts so your rant doesn't end up looking foolish.If you dig around in the issue, you may end up becoming a passionate advocate for the other side.
Step 2: Pick something that has high stakes and rant against it.
There is a difference between a rant and a whiney post.If you're going to rant effectively, you need to have a deeper issue or cause behind it.There needs to be a reason to complain.You should find it before complaining.The stakes of something like mountain top removal mining may be obvious, but may not be as obvious as what wore to the red carpet.You can rant about both effectively if you dig a little deeper.Issues of class, race, sexuality, and any number of other topics can be addressed in a rant.If you want your rant to go deeper, you have to find the serious issue behind the surface.
Step 3: Make a list of the negatives.
What do you think gets under your skin about that particular topic?It's a good idea to come up with a list of irritations that you can use in your rant.The more specific, the better.A personal story can give a lot of pathos to a rant.Do you have any personal experiences that could be used to your advantage?If you were recently stopped and frisked by a police officer for no reason, you might want to include the story in your rant.If you find something serious at the center of your subject, stick with it.Reality TV is annoying you.What?If you find something more interesting, stick with it.
Step 4: There is a weak spot.
You want to direct your rant to hurt the opposition.Don't shy away from contradictions, fallacies, and other failures of logic that you find in the subject you want to rant against.What is it about your irritation that doesn't make sense?You may want to say "It's just stupid" if you can't stand the show, but you will find the weak spot.Why is it stupid?What is stupid about it?How can you explain the stupidity?The show you dislike presents stereotypical versions of men and women.Look for examples to back up your argument.Pick on them and your rant will be very strong.
Step 5: Use examples that are specific.
Bad rants won't prove anything because they list the same idea fifty times.You can say that "Two and a Half Men" is the worst show of all time, or you can show us how and why it's terrible.Every time you make a claim in your rant, ask yourself, "So what?"Then ask the question.There are contradictions or logical fallacies.If you want to rant, you should point out all the ways in which the topic is completely wrong, ridiculous, or terrible.We need to connect the dots.
Step 6: Powerful words can be used.
The so-called humor on 'Two and a Half Men' is so insipid and juvenile, it makes Beavis and Butthead.The show is dumb.It's important to have specific examples for your railing.You can only tell us what is bad and not bother to prove it to us.Give us quotes, examples, and discuss the thing in detail.
Step 7: Use sarcasm to your advantage.
The ranter's playground is called sarcasm.Use verbal eye-rolls to make fun of the opposition.The creator of 'Two and a Half Men' says that the show is 'populist.'This is true.The show is so populist that it appeals to the sexist, racist, dunderheaded caveman instincts in its audience.
Step 8: Ironic and satire can be used to your advantage.
A great way of skewering something is to mock it more subtly.If you can mock the style of your target, you'll be a pro.If you want to rant against the style of Wes Anderson movies, you might try writing in a cutesy way about the panda bear you had to care for at short film camp, and how you locked eyes with a Brazilian folk singer doing covers of Kinks songs.
Step 9: The big picture is important.
Mountains are made out of molehills by good rants.You should connect the small thing you're seeing to a bigger issue.What could this tell us about the relationship between friends in the digital age?What is the end result of all this Facebooking?Where are we going as a culture of phone-watchers?There is a line between a big exaggeration and an effective rant.You want to get as close to it as possible.It is within the constraints of a good rant to say that Facebook ruins dates and makes it more difficult to relate to one another.Is it possible that Facebook is responsible for the disease?That is a stretch.
Step 10: You should let it sit before you make it public.
It is easy to be completely transparent in a public way.Don't post your rant online until you have a chance to think about it for a while, if you're going to rant hard on a subject that you feel passionately about.It's a good rule of thumb to give it 24 hours.If you're willing to stand behind the issue and still feel the same way about it, you should post it.Would you be willing to defend your opinion on national television?You might think twice about posting it for all the world to see if the answer is no.
Step 11: From an intelligent point of view, address the issue.
Have you seen the video of protesters holding anti-Socialism signs who are asked to define socialism?You do not want to be them.If you start talking about an issue you don't know anything about, you'll be on a fast-track to embarrassment.You need to be smart before you start making noise.It can't be stressed enough if you're not informed about a particular issue.It should be kept to yourself.
Step 12: Don't make it personal.
Attacks on a person's character are not work or words from that person.It's a good idea to mock the creator of "Two and a Half Men" for the terrible show he is responsible for, but not because he has a dumb face and bad clothes.That isn't related to the subject at hand.Don't try to attack the character.
Step 13: It's a good idea to avoid logical fallacies.
Even if you're running on passion, your rant has to make sense.If you don't know the basics of creating an argument and sustaining it with good points and logic, your rant will fall apart.A summary or conclusion is included in every argument.
Step 14: Don't say anything just to say something.
It's important to save a good rant for something you're going to be able to dismantle with surgical precision, not something that rubs you the wrong way and which you feel like making noise about.The bus was late.So what?You've got a good rant on your hands if you can answer that question with an example of how it made everyone late for work.Save it, because it took you five minutes more to get to the coffee shop.
Step 15: It should be kept as clean as possible.
Nobody wants to eat a lot of cayenne pepper, but four-letter words can add a little flavor to a dish.Don't make curse-bombs the center of attention if you decide to throw them into your rant.