How do you deal with hypocritical people?It is difficult to navigate relationships with people you think are hypocritical because they are often unaware.It's a good idea to acknowledge their behavior and move on.If you choose to confront them, be respectful and non-judgmental.
Step 1: Don't lose your temper.
Don't allow the person's words or actions to ruin your day.To stay calm and in control, take some deep breaths or count to 10.To clear your head, walk away for a few minutes.
Step 2: Don't interact with hypocrites.
If you know you can't change someone's mind or behavior, just let it go.It is unlikely that pointing out hypocrisy will help you or the other person.Move on with your day if you mentally acknowledge the hypocrisy.
Step 3: If their behavior is bothering you, leave the conversation.
If the hypocrite's behavior is getting to you, remove yourself from the conversation and acknowledge that you're dealing with a hypocrite.Walking away will help you stay calm.You don't have to be angry.Say a few words and leave the conversation."I'm late for class, gotta go!" is an example.See you later.
Step 4: If the hypocritical behavior is harmless, don't fight.
If the person is being hypocritical about an unimportant topic and not hurting anyone with their behavior, just acknowledge that and let it go.This is important when you have to see someone every day, such as a coworker.It's not worth making a fuss about or creating additional difficulties for that person.
Step 5: If you need to, put up with their behavior for a short time.
Sometimes you have to deal with someone's hypocritical behavior without much of a choice.If the behavior is annoying but there is nothing you can do about it, try to let it go for a while.If you rarely see this person, this can be effective.When dealing with a hypocritical family member or distant friend, you might have to do this.
Step 6: Ignore behavior that you can't prove.
It's difficult to catch someone being a hypocrite if you don't have all of the facts.Unless you're certain of the person's hypocrisy, try to control your feelings.Say your friend talks about the value of recycling, but you suspect they don't recycle themselves.Don't get carried away trying to catch them being hypocrites.It's not worth a confrontation if you don't know whether they recycle or not.
Step 7: Don't spend a lot of time with people who are hypocritical.
You don't have to go out of your way to ignore the person.It's a good idea to avoid hanging out with them alone or talking to them one-on-one when you feel like it.If you find a person morally repulsive, don't talk about his personal life.Keep your interactions short and away from controversial topics if you speak.
Step 8: The comments should be judged on their seriousness.
Hypocrisy can be very harmful.Don't let hypocrisy get to you if it's on a small scale and more of an annoyance than anything else.Take it more seriously if it affects you or other people in a big way.If you know your friend loves a certain band, but in front of popular kids, she pretends to hate them because they aren't cool, this is pretty harmless.Someone you know talks a lot about accepting all races and genders.You've heard them make racist comments behind closed doors.This is serious.
Step 9: Confront the person in a way that's respectful.
If you think confrontation is the best way to go, approach the situation in a calm and civil way.Say what you need to say about hypocrisy, then end with something positive.If you want to confront a racist, say: "Barrett, I don't know you that well, but you've always been nice to me."You say you accept everyone, but I've heard you make racist comments to some of my friends.If you're going to treat my friends that way, I can't continue being your friend.
Step 10: Use "I" statements to express yourself.
It can be difficult to confront a hypocrite.It's a good idea to use "I" statements as a way to get your point across.A less aggressive tone can be set by "I" statements.I feel really disappointed by this.I don't understand your feelings about this topic.
Step 11: Prepare for an emotional reaction.
Sometimes you can confront a hypocritical person in a respectful and reasonable way.Sometimes the hypocrite will be hostile in return.Just in case, be prepared for a negative reaction.If the person tries to escalate the situation, remind yourself not to participate.A calm and even tone of voice is what you should use to respond to them.You may have to accept that if it's clear the person can't see their own hypocrisy.