Being a child of divorced or separated parents is difficult.You are often sent back and forth between parents when you deal with parents who don't like each other.One of the scariest things you might have to do is tell the other parent that you want to live with them.It will be very easy to hurt the parent you live with if you tell them this.It's important to be sensitive when telling your parent what you want so that they don't think you are trying to hurt them.Think carefully about your reasons for wanting to move before taking any action.
Step 1: Understand that your parent will be sad.
It may be difficult for you to watch and deal with the tug-of-war that goes on for custody as a child of divorced parents.In most cases, your parents are trying to do what is best for you, and if you tell them you don't want to live with them anymore, they may feel like they have failed you.You don't need to think that you have to live with a parent if you are unhappy just because you do not want to hurt them.It is not your job to keep your parents happy.It's important to be gentle because it may hurt them to hear that you want to leave.
Step 2: Think about the reason you want to leave.
Your other parent may allow you to do whatever you want, so it will be more fun, but is that the only reason?If the reasons you want to move out are good or not, take some time to think about them.It is easy for the parent who doesn't live with full time to look like a fun parent, but remember that they do not bear all of the responsibility for you.It is the parent who is responsible for making you happy and healthy most of the time.They have to make a lot of tough decisions about what is best for you.Will you have to change schools?If you are very happy at your current school, and living with the other parent requires changing schools, then you may have to go somewhere you don't like.
Step 3: Don't say things out of rage.
Did something the parent did make you angry?It can be tempting to tell them you want to live with your other parent in the heat of the moment.You should not use your other parent as a weapon when they make you angry.If you really want to live with the other parent, you should have a conversation with them, and think about the reasons why.
Step 4: You should list your reasons for wanting to move.
There are a lot of reasons why you want to live with your parent.Some of the reasons may have nothing to do with the parent you live with.Make a list of the reasons you want to live with your other parent.It is not necessary for you to give this list to the parent you live with, as long as you explain why you don't want to live there.Make a list so that you can talk to your parent about why you want to leave.Maybe you want to live with the other parent because they live closer to your school, or maybe it is a different reason.It could be that the parent you live with is dating a lot of different people, and you don't like being around them.
Step 5: Know what you want from the discussion.
Do you want to live with your other parent and never see them again?Would you like to see them on the weekends?Do you want to live with the same parent, but spend more time with another?There are many ways to split custody between parents.Before you tell them you want to live with the other parent, you should know what kind of custody arrangement you would like.You can show your parent that you have thought about it during the conversation.You should talk to your parent about when you want to see them.
Step 6: Take into account the lifestyle of your other parent.
It is possible that your other parent does not want you to live with them because they don't have time to give you the support you need.Do you know if your other parent will allow you to live with them?Maybe your other parent has a problem.They may not be able to take care of you as a parent.They are never at home when they travel all week.
Step 7: Speak to someone you trust.
Tell someone you trust how you are feeling.This could be the parent you want to live with, a grandparent, or a guidance counselor.Tell them why you want to live with the other parent.It is possible to understand your reasons for wanting to move by talking to someone.The person you talk to could give you advice on how to start the conversation.If your parents don't get along well, talking with them may not be the best idea if you're looking for an impartial ear.
Step 8: Ask if they have time to talk about something important.
If you say you want to live with your other parent out of nowhere, this will make them angry and sad.They won't be able to listen if they are shocked by what you say.Tell them that you need some time to talk about something important to you.They may be able to talk immediately, but if they are busy they may have to wait.Even if you don't shock them, they may get mad.If you can tell that they are in a bad mood, don't ask them to have this talk.
Step 9: Tell them that you love them.
You may be afraid that you will hurt your parents if you leave.It might be hard to tell them that you want to leave, but it will help them understand how much you love them.You can say, "before I tell you what's going on, I want you to know that I love you very much."It might be hard to hear what I am about to say, but please don't think I'm not interested.
Step 10: Tell them why you want to live with their parent.
If that is the situation, say, "I would like to live with Dad or Mom."Try to explain the reasons calmly and clearly.If the reasons you don't want to live with the current parent are because of how they treat you or they have problems that are affecting you, then bringing up these reasons may make your parent mad or embarrassed.It is important to be honest.
Step 11: Give them time to digest what you said.
It is difficult to predict how your parent will react.They can get angry, cry, or not seem upset.Give them time to think about what you said.Listen to what they are saying if they want to talk.They may want some time to think about it.Give them time.They may not say no at all.There isn't much you can do in this case.It is possible to talk about the matter with your other parent.They may be able to convince the parent to rethink.
Step 12: You should keep calm.
If you don't like your parent reacting in a certain way, do your best to stay calm.Don't yell at them.Try to keep talking in a mature way.Ask them if they can explain why it isn't a good idea.If they have given you many reasons, you should try to understand them.If your parent is the one who believes that you should do what you are told, they don't need to explain why.If this happens, you may be wasting your time, but try to remember that the best thing you can do is to keep talking to them so that they don't just blow you off.
Step 13: Later, bring it up again.
Tell your parent again in a month or two if they have said no.They will see that you really want to live with the other parent, and you weren't just trying to cause problems.Try to approach the conversation in the same way if you have to try again.It will show them that you can make your own decisions if you bring up the conversation as maturely as possible.