You can go through a lot of strong emotions if your spouse is dying.Preparing for death is a difficult process, both emotionally and physically, but there are several ways to make the most of your time together.As a spouse, you are likely to play different roles in this process.
Step 1: Talk to healthcare professionals about end-of-life care.
When faced with the death of a spouse or loved one, you may feel overwhelmed about what to do.If your spouse has been diagnosed with a terminal illness, and no further treatments are being done, talk with your doctor or healthcare providers about options.The hospital's social work department is often helpful in this situation.Talk to the agencies directly about what they can offer.Hospice will usually pay 100% of medical expenses related to your spouse's primary diagnosis.Private insurance offers Hospice benefits.
Step 2: Provide reassurance and be present.
Give your spouse a comforting voice and a loving hand.It is a good idea to let them know that they have permission to go.Focus on how you can be present for them.You could work together to complete a task from their bucket list, or you could be more attentive to their needs.The person needs to be comfortable.They might want items from home.They might want to look through old photos or listen to more jolly music.If you think they might like something, and they say no, then respect their wishes and don't force it on them.Soft lighting and soothing music create a peaceful atmosphere.Where possible, reduce noise.In this time of need, pray for your loved one.A poem, book, or spiritual passage can be read to a loved one.You could hold their hands or massage them.
Step 3: There are ways to say goodbye.
It can be comforting to say goodbye to a loved one who is dying.Don't burden your loved one with feelings of sadness, fear, or loneliness in their final moments.Allow family and friends to visit or say a few words while you share your good-byes.The ability to hear is the last of the five senses, so your loved one may be listening.Allow them to reflect on their life.If your spouse needs some quiet time, you should check in with them regularly.
Step 4: When death is near, be aware of the signs and symptoms.
Depending on the diagnosis, your healthcare providers may provide education about signs and symptoms for end-of-life care.A person who is at end-of-life will often sleep more, eat and drink less, and communicate less.In the final weeks, the loved one will likely become bed-bound and may experience the following: Continued loss of appetite and thirst, with difficulty in swallowing Increased pain, that can be treated, and fatigue
Step 5: Discuss end-of-life wishes with your family.
This may reduce stress in the long run by having an open and honest conversation early.An advanced directive and medical treatment preferences can be completed with your spouse and family.When you want to have this conversation, break for a while to allow everyone to process and think about it.You and your family can't be ruled by your emotions when making decisions.To find out the official decisions, connect later.Appointing a "health care agent" or Medical Power of Attorney can be included.Unless another family member is appointed via the advance directive, you are the default decision-maker regarding your spouse's care.Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) Status, if no heart rate, or unable to breathe independently, is a medical treatment preference.If you want to donate your organs or body.
Step 6: Get your finances in order by making a living will.
If your spouse passes, talk to a lawyer about estate planning and any financial assets that may change ownership.Obtain current information about your spouse's financial holdings, debts, and assets in order to avoid headaches and surprises after your loved one passes.If you or your spouse are over the age of 60, there may be a senior legal aid hotline in your state.
Step 7: Discuss ways to remember the funeral.
Depending on your family's spiritual background, there may be specific wishes, such as burial or cremation.There are preferences about where to scatter the ashes.You can honor your loved one's choices if you understand their wishes.The best way to honor a loved one is to respect their choices, even if you disagree with them.Call various funeral homes before your loved one is near death in order to understand the different costs and options available.When the time comes, you can be better prepared by knowing your budget for funeral expenses.
Step 8: You should keep a list of your spouse's contacts and financial information.
Your spouse may have online accounts for email, banking, retirement, insurance, and bill paying.The passwords and account details of all these accounts need to be collected.As the spouse, you will most likely handle the bills and closing accounts for your loved one.You can make a "Lifebox" folder with all the details of the spouse's medical, financial, and personal contacts.It will be easier to reference this folder in an emergency.
Step 9: Your spouse's memory and legacy should be honored.
Discuss with your spouse and family if there are ways to honor him or her.Depending on what your spouse loved most, these actions could be big or small, and they can either be very personal or very public.Donate personal possessions or time to the community, or plant a tree in your spouse's name.
Step 10: Reduce stress on caregivers.
If your spouse has a terminal illness, you may be overwhelmed by the level of care needed.To reduce physical and emotional stressors, reach out to healthcare professionals such as doctors, nurses, and social workers.In- home care or care at a facility are available for respite.If you want to have a short break or run an errand, ask your friends or family to sit with you.Take good care of yourself during this time.It's important to seek support from your friends, family, and a support group so you don't take everything on yourself.Try to eat something a few times a day.Even if you don't sleep during the night, take a nap when you feel like it.Family can be useful in helping with your spouse's care.Say yes if someone offers to help.We usually say thank you, I'm fine.We regret it later when we are overwhelmed with things to do.To lighten your load, challenge yourself to find something they can do.It is possible to keep things from snowballing out of control if you say yes along the way.
Step 11: Allow yourself to feel your emotions.
You should be open with people who you trust.When your spouse is near death or has passed away, it is natural to be sad, upset, anxious, afraid, and lonely.It is one of the most difficult transitions you will ever experience.One-on-one with trusted family and friends is one of the ways to get help.Discuss your feelings of loss with a religious support system.You can engage in activities that help you deal with your emotions.It's a good idea to avoid alcohol and other substances.People who have had similar experiences are encouraged to join a grief and loss support group.Talk to a grief counselor.
Step 12: There may be financial and emotional challenges after a spouse has passed.
If your spouse was the primary earner, you may face financial turmoil about how to manage bills, or possibly taking on the care of children or family members without his support.This can be frightening.It is important to discuss options with friends and family if necessary.If your spouse has life insurance, it will help with bills in the short term.When a terminal illness is diagnosed, you may be able to withdraw your spouse's life insurance policy earlier without penalty.If used upon death, life insurance policies may have a cash value component.Spousal benefits can be accessed via Social Security if you or your spouse are over retirement age.A reduction in income can change your standard of living.If you need help finding a job, put the word out.A lot of people are looking for a way to help.
Step 13: No one else's time to heal is your own.
Each person's experience with grief and loss is his or her own, and can't be determined by family or social pressures.Family and friends may not always know how to help.Their hearts are often in the right place.Hope, love, and peace can be accepted.Please ask your family and friends to support you and respect your time frame, as they may encourage you to "move on" before you are ready.They say these things because they don't know what to do when you are grieving.Remember that is about them, not you.Don't let regrets about what should have been, or what you could have done, stop you from remembering the good things that you and your spouse share.You can continue to honor your spouse's memories even if he or she passes away.Even if all parties are healthy, it is never too early to discuss the arrangements.Don't have to deal with that stress while trying to grieve.