There are many reasons you may have to say no to requests from family, friends and work.No is a very difficult word to say.Women have a harder time saying no than men.Knowing how to say no nicely can have a huge impact on a relationship.There are things you can do to make it easier.If you can, ask for time, avoid confrontation, and be honest.
Step 1: It's difficult to say no.
From an early age, most of us have learned that saying yes is easier and gets approval from family.Our parents are tied with love and fears of abandonment and this taps into a deep need to please them.We may be afraid of alienating our spouses or significant others.No can cause misunderstandings and hurt feelings with friends.It's a worry that saying no at work could make you look bad or keep you from a promotion.If we say yes to more than we can manage, it can cause problems.
Step 2: It is important to say no.
Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries can be accomplished by learning to say no nicely.No often feels uncomfortable if you take pride in caring and doing things for others.You may end up stressed or anxious because you say yes too often.You can care for others while taking care of yourself by saying no.
Step 3: Give yourself time.
The experts agree that taking your time is important.You don't have to answer right away if you're considering how to turn down an invitation.It's a good idea to have some time to think about the subject or feelings.It's not fair to make the other person wait too long.Don't say yes immediately and change your mind later.This can hurt or ruin your credibility.In February, your mom will ask, "Are you coming to town for the holidays this year?"We haven't even thought about it yet.We don't know if we can take the time off.Let's talk about it again in September.
Step 4: Don't change your principles.
If someone asks you to do something against your values, it's best to say no in a way that avoids confrontation.Tell the person you want to give it some thought, then ask for time.Carefully consider your own values before saying yes to something.A friend asks you to write a letter of reference for her family member.It is possible to say something like, "I don't know your family member very well and would not feel comfortable writing as if I do."
Step 5: Don't say no.
Don't say yes, but understand that you can turn something down without saying no.Explain why you're refusing and your concerns.If your boss asks you to take on another project, don't just say that you're too busy.Say something like, "I'm working on x project due next week and y project that we're presenting next month."How long can you give me to finish this project?
Step 6: Tell the truth.
It's tempting to tell a white lie or make up an elaborate story before you say no.If you are found out, this can threaten relationships, whether personal or business.Being nice is being honest.If you refuse an invitation, you could say, "That sounds like a great opportunity for someone else, but it doesn't suit me."Have fun and find someone else.
Step 7: Stay strong.
If someone keeps pestering you to do something, you may find it hard to say no.They might be used to you always saying yes and testing your limits.Continue to firmly say no.If you refuse and give an explanation like, "I know you really want to meet up this weekend, but I've already made plans that I need to keep," you may begin.Keep your responses brief, but firm, if the person continues to pester you.
Step 8: Don't lend someone money.
A friendship can be put at risk by lending money to friends.If your friend takes too long in paying the money back, you may hesitate to ask for it and the person might start believing the loan was a gift.If you don't think your friendship can survive an unpayable loan, break the news to your friend as gently as possible.You should be as honest as possible.You can say to your friend, "I know you are in a tight spot financially."I value our friendship, but friends and loans don't get along.Is there another way I can help out?I would give you the money.
Step 9: Donate if you don't want to.
If you know you won't be supporting the request, turn it down and give an alternative.It sounds like you're working on a great cause, but I can't work it in right now.I have pledged my monthly donation funds.You can ask me again next month.Don't feel like you have to give every request.You're most likely focusing on your time, business, or finances.Say yes to projects that you really want to do.
Step 10: Tell your children no.
Kids don't like being told not to do something.If your child wants something that you won't allow or give, make sure to say no and explain why.If you want to suggest something that they can do, make sure to express your point of view.You could say that you can't spend the night at your friend's house during the school week.I don't want you to be tired in class the next day.You can always spend the night over the weekend, I know you're frustrated.
Step 11: Don't give a big favor.
Don't feel obligated when someone asks for a favor.The person probably doesn't know what your work or stress load is like.You can say no to a personal favor.She should understand if the person is a good friend.You could say, "I really wish I could babysit for you this week, but I've got a big work deadline and a family obligation."It is important to be clear and honest.Lying could hurt your relationship in the long run.
Step 12: A date should be turned down.
To make sure the other person gets the message, be direct and clear.In romantic situations, people tend to take any ambiguity as a sign of hope, which isn't nice for anyone involved."You're a good friend / a nice guy, but I'm not interested in you that way," or "We are not quite a match" are ways to be blunt.If you just went on the date and were asked to go on another one, you should be gentle and honest.Say something like, "I enjoyed this evening, but I don't think you and I are a good fit."Once you've turned someone down, cut the conversation short.Neither of you will want to spend time together immediately after.
Step 13: Don't have sex.
If a romantic partner wants you to have sex or act more intimate than you are comfortable with, firmly decline.Mention a reason, such as the chance of pregnancy, your moral beliefs, or simply that you will make the decision on your own schedule.Let the other person know that this is your own decision, and that it has nothing to do with his or her attractiveness.Don't assume that your partner will pick up on your lack of enthusiasm.You have to be clear.
Step 14: There are persistent requests.
It's time to be extra firm if you're being hounded to go on a date or start having sex.Another firm "No" is needed if someone doesn't listen to your responses.Say, "I'm not comfortable with your constant asking, so I will have to say no."Tell your friend or partner that the behavior is making you sad.Requests to spend time together should be turned down.Don't get invested in someone else's opinion.Don't see the person completely if you can.
Step 15: Don't accept a marriage proposal.
Say that you're honored to be asked by such a wonderful person, and then thank him or her.If you don't accept, it's not because of anything he or she did.You should give a full explanation of why you are rejecting the proposal.It applies to someone in a serious relationship.If you only started dating, gently say that it's too early.If someone proposes to you in public, keep the moment short and sweet.I want to talk about it in private.Don't make a big scene.