Sometimes a man's feelings for you can change for the worse.You may need to talk to him after to make matters even more uncomfortable.There is no way to make this fun, but there are pointers you can follow that will make the conversation feel less awkward.Spending some time to figure out why he stopped liking you can give you a better perspective on future conversations, as well as future relationships.It is important that we come to terms with the situation and move on so we don't feel weird.
Step 1: If it is really necessary, ask yourself.
Accept the fact that he probably doesn't want to shoot the breeze if he does not like you anymore.Save yourself from embarrassment.Think about what you want to discuss with him.If you really need to discuss it, go ahead and do so.If you are using this as an excuse to have one more talk with him, let it go.
Step 2: Do not be rude.
Regardless of what you're talking about, act civil and your conversation will be productive.Keep the tone neutral.If you asked for help from a clerk at the store, you would say: "Hey, do you have a second?"I need to speak to you quickly."Sorry to interrupt, but could I steal you away for a few seconds?"
Step 3: Go straight to the point.
He probably doesn't want to get involved in the conversation.If you need to discuss something, don't beat around the bush.Bring it up first thing so he doesn't feel like you're wasting his time or acting clingy.Say: "I just remembered that I left my sweater at your place."Doug called me last night to say he was going to be in town next week, and he wanted to see you.I wanted to return the book you lent me.Here you go.
Step 4: It's a good idea to avoid long speeches about difficult topics.
If you need to talk about something more serious than a lost sweater, stop.Leave it at that and say your piece as clearly as you can.It will only make him act less responsive if you repeat yourself so you don't lose his attention.If you need to find out why he stopped talking to you all of a sudden, you should address the issue directly.I'm not sure if it's because I said something or not.I would like to know why.It is possible that what you say is a little complex.Write it down and rehearse it.In five minutes or less, say everything you need to say.
Step 5: If the conversation turns into a fight, switch the topics.
If you both find yourselves arguing over something, take whatever issue you are talking about.Get the conversation moving in a positive direction by redirecting it to another topic.It is a pretty big deal if the two of you were in a relationship and adopted a dog together.You have reached a stalemate because you are arguing about whether to keep it or share it with someone else.Bring up a new topic that you need to discuss when you say, "We can deal with this later."Pick one that he is likely to agree with you about, like, cancelling reservations for that Vegas vacation you booked before you broke up.When you need to return to the more difficult ones, he will be more receptive when you come to agreements about easy subjects.This isn't a guarantee that he'll change his mind, but it should at least reset the tone so it's more civil.
Step 6: If that works better, text or email.
If talking in person is too awkward, painful, or counter productive, write him a line.If you need to rephrase your message, give yourself the chance to put yourself in his shoes.Give him time to process what you have to say.He can think things over before he responds.If you need to return a book he lent you, use the post office.Put the note in the mailbox and be done with it.
Step 7: Don't spend more time than is necessary.
It might sound counter-intuitive, but going over what went wrong is an important step in healing, and it can also hurt feelings and confusion.If you aim to find the right balance, how much time you need depends on you.If you don't find the answers you need after going over your relationship, then put it behind you.If he has grown distant because he's started hanging out with a different crowd, acknowledging this is necessary for you to come to terms with what happened, but dwelling on it won't really accomplish anything.
Step 8: You should review your relationship in order to move forward.
Don't use your answers as a means to correct mistakes and get him back, but identify what went wrong.If you learn from your experience, you can apply those lessons to future relationships.Don't forget the future, not the past.He broke things off because you betrayed a secret that he told you.It's up to him if he can trust you again.You can learn from this so you don't make the same mistake with someone else.
Step 9: Do you think he was the right guy for you?
Whether your relationship was romantic or platonic, the easiest explanation of why things went wrong is that the two of you weren't well suited for each other.Evaluate your wants, needs, hopes, and interests.They should be compared with his.Look at other guys in your life if they are wildly different.Do you know what to avoid in the future if they fall into a pattern?
Step 10: Don't let your emotions get the best of you.
Don't feel guilty about your feelings, they are a fact of life.A successful, mature relationship often requires you to have some control over your feelings.How often did you allow yourself to be swept away by them?
Step 11: How do you handle disagreements?
His feelings might have changed after the two of you found yourselves at odds, but things may have been great between you.Do you remember how you handled those moments?Ask yourself if there was a more positive way you could have approached them.
Step 12: Accept the situation.
Don't deny your new reality, it's okay to wish that things would have turned out differently.It is much harder to get over something if you don't accept that it happened.You can deal with it if you embrace the fact that he doesn't like you anymore.
Step 13: Allow yourself time to recover.
Chances are that you are not as enthusiastic about life as you should be.It is a failure on your part to treat it that way.Allow yourself time to grieve.This will help you heal faster than pretending nothing is wrong.
Step 14: You can expect a wide range of emotions.
Just because you feel depressed one minute, doesn't mean you have to be crazy the next.This is a normal reaction to losing his favor.Take comfort in the fact that it won't last forever.Take it one day at a time, ride it out as best you can.
Step 15: It is up to you to express yourself.
Don't let everything be bottled up.If you have a strong support network, you should share your feelings with your friends and family.If you don't want to share at this stage, start a journal and articulate your feelings in there.Either method will put your feelings into perspective.
Step 16: Don't worry about him, focus on you.
Don't have unnecessary contact with him.Don't think about what he might be up to or how he's feeling.You should concentrate on what you are doing and how you feel.It will take you a long time to get over him if you keep him front and center in your mind.
Step 17: Wishing him the best to make you feel good.
It is okay to hate this guy or wish him ill, as long as it is temporary.Don't hold onto those feelings.If he acted like a jerk, resist the temptation to hurt him.The meaner you will feel in general, the longer you harbor mean thoughts.
Step 18: There are new activities to engage in.
If the two of you used to spend a lot of time together, now is the time to take advantage of it.Join a class, start a new hobby, or just hang out with your friends.Take care of both your time and your brain so you don't dwell on his absence.