Understand your girlfriend.
There is more to your girlfriend than you think.You can sidestep some disagreements, avoid hurting her feelings, and improve the bond between you if you understand her on a deeper level.Understand your girlfriend by getting to know her opinions and values, as well as the little things that make her unique.
Step 1: Discuss different issues with her.
It is nice to show your girlfriend that you value her opinion on a variety of topics.She can be shown this by getting her input before you make a decision or questioning her stance on an important issue.You could say, "Hey, Hon, what's your take on same-sex marriage?" when you watch news coverage.
Step 2: Open-ended questions are a good way to take small talk deeper.
You can learn more about your girlfriend's values, beliefs, opinions, and passions by taking advantage of the insignificant conversations you have with her.There are open-ended questions that require more than a "yes" or "no" answer.You might say, "Oh, really?" when your girlfriend says "I love this TV show!"What do you think about it?
Step 3: Discuss boundaries.
Your limits are where you end and where your girlfriend begins.Understanding and respecting those limits is a big part of a healthy relationship.Schedule a time to talk about your boundaries if you and your girlfriend haven't clearly stated them.Say something like, "I'd like us to talk about how we could respect one another's limits."How can I show you respect?It doesn't include "never" or " always" language.They tell you how to love and treat one another, such as "I would like for you to ask permission before using my things" or "It bother me when you insult my friends."Take the time to figure out what your boundaries are and share them with one another.
Step 4: Pay attention to what she is complaining about.
Each partner needs to get their needs met.There may be problems if a person doesn't know how to articulate their needs.You can tie an unmet need to something a person is complaining about.If your girlfriend complains that you are always on the phone, she may be telling you that she feels ignored.If you want to take offense, reply with "You're right".I apologize.We should have some one-on-one time and not use our phones.
Step 5: She has values.
What makes your girlfriend like you?She has personal values that you can learn about.Understanding who she is can help you better understand her.Because your values aren't drastically different, it helps to make sure you are compatible with one another.Ask her questions such as "What characteristics would describe as part of your most ideal self?" to learn her values.What issues do you want to change about your community, nation, or world?If all living beings were out safely, what would you save in a house fire?
Step 6: You can use her likes and dislikes to make her feel special.
Pay attention to the comments your girlfriend makes about her favorite things, and try to notice the things she avoids.You can tailor dates, experiences, gifts, or even dinners to her tastes if you know her likes and dislikes.You can make her feel special by making her coffee or tea with the right amount of sugar and cream.You could bring her favorite food when you come over to visit.If you know she dislikes it, you might not tick her.If you want to learn the quirks of your girlfriend, you can simply observe her over a period of time.
Step 7: Discuss sexual consent.
The best way to make your girlfriend happy and comfortable is to have an open and honest conversation about your relationship.To show love and affection in the way that feels right for both of you, take the time to discuss each of your intimate needs.Discuss your own sexual boundaries with her.This can cover everything from kissing to touching.Ask her if she wants to try something new.You could ask, "Is it okay if I put my hand here?"Before touching her.Asking open-ended questions, such as, "How do you feel about oral sex?" can be used to start a discussion about what each of you like and don't like.The relationship progresses at an appropriate pace if you do so.
Step 8: If you aren't sure about something, ask questions.
Don't make assumptions, it's the trick to understanding your girlfriend.If you are uncertain about her feelings about a particular situation, ask to find out.Doing so will save you from wrongly assuming and offending her.
Step 9: When you communicate with her, remove distraction.
Distractions cause you to misunderstand what your girlfriend is saying.Give her your full attention when the two of you are having more serious discussions.Mental or physical distraction can be found in nature.If you are tired or upset, delay the talk until you can fully participate.
Step 10: Say something before you respond.
You try to understand the message when you actively listen.Testing your understanding of the message with a summary is the best way to do that.Paraphrasing is when you restate what you heard in a different way.You could say, "Let's see if I'm hearing this correctly."You are saying...?
Step 11: Provide validation by listening for feeling statements.
If you notice any feeling statements in your girlfriend's message, pay close attention.If you hear her describe her emotions, try to understand how she feels.Your girlfriend could say, "My boss is giving me a hard time."It seems like, no matter what I do, it's never good enough.You could say, "Sorry, sweetie, that sounds really frustrating," which would make her feel better.
Step 12: Take notice of her body language.
Your girlfriend uses both words and gestures.Body language can tell you what she is thinking or feeling.A person's body language can give more information than what they say.If your girlfriend's body is turned away from you, that may mean she doesn't want to have the discussion or that she wants to leave.Her shoulders may suggest that she's sad.She may do this when she feels attacked or offended.
Step 13: She is trying to fix her problems.
It is common to want to fix the problems of the people you care about.Making sure she actually wants your help can work against you if you jump to fix without validation.You need to demonstrate that you understand and feel for her situation if you have fully heard her out.Do you want my help or would you prefer me to just listen?
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