The benefits and challenges of dating someone who is in the military are the same as with any other relationship.Military relationships often have to endure the distance, rules and time apart that non-military relationships do.You can overcome these challenges with a little adjustment and dedication.If you want to be a military girlfriend or boyfriend, keep your relationship strong, find ways to stay happy, and show your support.
Step 1: Good communication is important.
Communication is the key to success in military relationships.To keep your connection strong, be open, honest, and understanding with your partner about all things good and bad.Before deployment or any other long separations, be sure to sit down with your partner and have a serious talk about both of your expectations, concerns, and feelings.It is important to be on the same page.When you disagree with your partner, make sure to let them know.When it is their turn to speak, put your opinions aside and listen to what they have to say.When you are upset, don't use blame, name-calling, or silent treatments.You should confront your partner about the problem.
Step 2: You can communicate in any way you please.
Depending on which branch of the military your significant other is in, you will most likely have limited contact from time to time and only be able to communicate with them by letter, email, phone call, video call or social media.Even if you don't receive many letters and emails, take full advantage of this and write as many as you can.Just in case, keep your phone near you all the time.It is beneficial to have contact with your partner when you are far from each other.Facetiming or Skyping is the next best thing since it isn't as good as physical contact.Video calls may help you feel more connected than other forms of contact.
Step 3: An adjustment period should be allowed when your significant other returns.
You will both need some time to adjust after you have spent a lot of time apart.It will be exciting to be together again, but it may be hard to adjust to day-to-day life because you will have to change your routines.
Step 4: Make big relationship decisions after a year.
You may be under a lot of pressure to make major decisions early on in the relationship.In order to give the relationship the best chance possible, resist the urge to move across the country or marry your significant other until you have been dating for at least a year.There are many benefits to marrying your partner, including higher pay and free health insurance for you.It would make things easier if you rushed into it.
Step 5: A positive mindset is something to keep.
It can be difficult to have an optimistic attitude when you are dating someone in the military.Developing patience and understanding will help you see the good in every situation.Positive self-talk, smiling more, and keeping a daily gratitude journal are some ways to achieve this.Sometimes orders are changed last minute.It is best to expect the worst but hope for the best in the military world.
Step 6: Don't stay busy.
It is easy to let yourself wallow when you are the girlfriend or boyfriend of a military person.You should focus on your own goals and happiness.Take a few classes at the local college, join a book club, pick up an extra shift, or sign up and train for a 5K that is coming up to fill your time in a productive, fun way.
Step 7: Make new friends.
You are less likely to feel lonely if you surround yourself with friends.While your partner is away, invest in both old and new friends so that you can have a support system and also have fun.Some time with other military people.These people are supportive and know what you are going through.
Step 8: Come to terms with not being able to do anything.
There are a lot of rules and demands in the military, and there may be many holidays that you won't be able to spend with your partner, as well as important details about missions that will be kept from you.Try to make the most of the situation by accepting that you can't change things.If you get overwhelmed by things being out of your control, try to count down from 10 with your eyes closed.If this doesn't work, you can try talking it out with a close friend, destress through exercise, or help someone else.
Step 9: Allow the distance to be accepted.
You have to be okay with being far away from your family.This is part of the military lifestyle.The military may allow you to visit and live in many places you have never been to before.
Step 10: Positive vibes can be seen in your emails, letters and calls.
When you have a special moment to talk to your spouse, don't show any sadness or frustration.It's important to keep in mind that boot camp and/or deployment can be really hard on them, and what they need is your positive support and reassurance.If you can't leave out bad things that have happened to you, tell them how much you love and miss them.Say things like "I believe in you" in pep talks.
Step 11: Don't give up.
It's difficult to overcome being separated from the person you love.Sometimes you may doubt the relationship, and some moments will feel harder than others.Stay strong during these times of weakness.When your judgement is clouded by sadness and loneliness, you may regret making rash decisions.Don't cheat on your partner while they're away.
Step 12: Accept your spouse's career choice.
When you choose to be with someone in the military, respect their choice because it's not always an easy one.It was their decision at the end of the day.If you've had a negative relationship with the military, don't talk about it.