You should be a good friend to someone who has a neurological disorder.
The term "Asperger's Syndrome" refers to people who are highly intelligent and low-support, but have significant social difficulties.There are still a number of people who have been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, even though it is no longer considered a medical diagnosis.Many of these people don't like to start and maintain friendship.To be a good friend to an Aspie, you need to know how to communicate with them so you can understand and respect their differences.
Step 1: Be patient.
If you want to be a good friend to a person with an intellectual disability, patience is important.You have to be willing to understand where your friend is coming from if they do things that confuse or frustrate you.It's important to keep in mind that all people are different.All this means is that you've met a person with a disability.It doesn't mean that you can interact with your friend in the same way if you have a person with an illness in your family.A friend of yours may say something that hurts you.Don't take this personally.They probably didn't know what they were saying was wrong.Let your friend know that what they said upset you, and help them understand how to communicate in a more tactful and productive way.Your friend might say, "That shirt makes you look ugly."You can say that it hurts to be told, and ask them what they think about your shirt.They can avoid a similar situation in the future if they say something like "I don't think that's your best color" or " I thought the shirt you wore yesterday was more flattering."
Step 2: Simple, concrete language can be used.
People on the spectrum tend to understand what you're saying if you speak in short, active sentences.This doesn't mean that you should change your normal speech pattern in order to be better understood.Instead of saying "Hey, do you want to hang out tomorrow?"I want to spend time with you tomorrow.Is it better to watch a movie or go to the coffee shop?If you talk to your friend differently than you do other people, they might find it offensive.If you communicate effectively with them, they will appreciate it.Make an effort to speak more clearly if you find that you're frequently having to explain yourself or clarify your statements.Don't condescend to them by speaking slowly, "dumbing down" your vocabulary, or assuming they will not understand anything.It will annoy your friend.
Step 3: Sarcasm and speech should not be used.
People on the spectrum may not be able to pick up on facial expressions.If you notice that your friend is confused, ask why.Friendly teasing is one of the ways people show affection.Many people on the spectrum think that you insult them or no longer want to be their friend.If your friend is a teenager or adult, they've learned how to read speech.It may take them a while to realize that you weren't actually saying that.If you say "Oh that's just great" in a sarcastic tone when your friend is telling you about something bad that happened to them, they might take it to mean that you think it was good.Speak literally.Say "That's terrible" if your friend is telling you about something.I am so sorry that happened to you.Would you like me to help?If your friend is hurt by something you meant as a joke, apologize immediately.Don't blame your behavior on someone else.
Step 4: It is possible that the friendship is one-sided.
A lot of people on the spectrum don't understand how to keep in contact with you or when to reach out.Part of being a good friend is knowing that you may have to put a lot of effort into keeping in touch and doing things together.If your friend doesn't get back to you right away, or if weeks go by without you hearing from them, try not to take it personally.Many people on the spectrum assume that you will contact them if you want to hang out with them.If they don't hear from you, they think you're busy or not interested in doing anything with them.Try to initiate contact on a regular basis.If you're the only one in the relationship who makes plans or texts first, you don't need to worry.
Step 5: Express your interest and curiosity.
People on the spectrum have an interest in a lot of things at the same time.Special interests are important to each person.If you've started a friendship with someone, it's likely that they're interested in the same thing.People with special interests are often researched extensively and have a lot of knowledge on the subject.Asking questions can teach you a lot.You can use a special interest to start a conversation with a person with special interests.Your friend is likely to keep monologuing about their special interest after you've lost interest, so keep that in mind.If you feel like you've had enough, you can ask questions or steer them to another topic.You could say "I know we were talking about world records, but that reminded me of the World Series."Do you like baseball?Who do you think will win the game?
Step 6: Ask your friend about their sensitivities.
Most people on the spectrum have issues with how they perceive things.Asking your friend about their sensitivities is the best thing to do.It's possible that your friend doesn't like a certain place or activity because of their sensory sensitivities.Someone who is sensitive to sounds may not like a coffee shop.They can't filter the sounds in the same way as you can, so they end up getting overstimulated.Many people with visual sensitivities have trouble with fluorescent lights.This could mean that your friend wouldn't like shopping at malls with you.
Step 7: Accept differences even if you don't understand them.
Accepting what your friend says about their sensory sensitivities is part of being a good friend.If they have sensitivities that make no sense to you, expressing doubt can upset your friend.Think about how you see the world.You probably assumed everyone was the same until you had a reason to change your mind.People on the spectrum are the same.If you wear glasses or contacts, you can remember when you were prescribed them.You might have thought you could see just fine until the test showed your vision was impaired.You realized how you were supposed to see when you got your glasses.Sensory issues are similar to this.Your friend may not know that certain perfumes can cause a headaches or that a room with fluorescent lighting can make them tense and frustrated.It's difficult to explain sensory issues in a way that you can understand, or give a reason for why a place or activity is upsetting your friend.
Step 8: Accommodations are made.
Accommodations may be needed for your friend's special needs.If you want to eat in a quieter corner of the cafeteria, you'll have to go right in the middle.Your friend will be able to tell you how to make the environment work for them.Is there anything I can tell you before we go to the concert?Your friend will appreciate you thinking ahead and being helpful.Give your friend as much information as you can so they can evaluate the situation and prepare themselves.If you invite your friend over to your home often, you want to make sure it's a safe place to live in.To be a good friend, show willingness to change things they don't like.If there are TVs in several rooms, you may want to close the doors so there is no competition for attention.
Step 9: There are signs of overstimulation.
When a person with an intellectual disability goes into overload, they may panic, melt down, and lose their ability to speak.You can help the person by taking them to a quiet place and giving them time to recover.If your friend is a teenager or adult, they've learned to identify things they do when they reach their limit.You can be on the lookout for these signs if you ask them about them.It's important to keep in mind that sensory stimulation can be very painful for a friend.They need to get out of the situation as soon as possible.If you're going to a public place with too much stimulation, be on the lookout for a quiet place where the two of you can retreat.If your friend has to leave abruptly, help them by leaving with them and making excuses to anyone that they were talking to.
Step 10: Try to be nice to your friend.
Sometimes treating people like friends is what they really want.People do that for each other all the time, but it takes a little while to get used to someone.If a teenager or adult is participating in a social activity, they are not paying attention to their condition.Be aware of this possibility.
Step 11: You should make plans in advance.
Most people on the spectrum are not random.If you want to do something with your friend, they need adequate time to prepare for the occasion and work it into their schedule.Giving your friend plenty of advance notice shows that you respect them, and also increases the chances that they'll be willing to accompany you to an event or participate in an activity.If your friend is familiar with things happening in familiar locations, they will be more likely to do things with you.Many people on the spectrum are resistant to new things because they don't know if they will be comfortable.Don't be vague with the details.Even if you have the best intentions, most people on the spectrum don't like surprises.Let your friend know if other people are going to be there.
Step 12: Protect your friend from others.
When they're younger, Autistic people are targets of teasing and bully.If friendly teasing comes from someone they don't know very well, it may be seen as friendly.You don't have to stand up for your friend or draw attention to yourself.You can say "Hey, I think that was a little over the line" or "I realize you were just joking, but you went too far."Another way to diffuse a situation is to point out something positive about your friend.If you think her interest in comic books is weird, you can say that she won $500 in a comic book contest last year.
Step 13: You should respect your friend's privacy.
Some people on the spectrum don't want everyone they meet to know they're not normal.Make sure your friend is okay with you sharing their personal information.Many people with special needs have been bullied or teased in the past because they were different.It can make them feel vulnerable if they don't point out their differences.When someone tells you they are on the spectrum, they usually mean that they trust you and feel safe with you.They couldn't be sure how you would react to the dehumanizing and negative coverage of autism in the media.
Step 14: Don't make a big deal out of it.
Many people on the spectrum are referred to as "stim".A friend may flap their hands or chew on a necklace or accessory.Stimming is a natural response to an environment that can be difficult at times.People try to stave off sensory overload by stimming.Help your friend find a quiet place where they can recover quickly if you notice that they are starting to feel overwhelmed.In neutral situations or to express happiness, stimulation can be used.There is no need to react if this is the case.You would treat someone jumping for joy or scratching an itch the same way.Some people think that this stimming is cute, and will smile or laugh if they see a person doing it.This is also okay.Don't pin someone down or stop them from stimming.You could seriously hurt them.
Step 15: Help your friend reach their goals.
Your friend may want to improve their social skills.Do what you can to increase their comfort in that area if they let you know about it.For example, if you put your friend in a safe environment, they can practice interacting with other people.Simulations can help improve the social skills of people who rely on scripts.If your friend is older, they may have already written off some social situations and decided they don't need them in their life.Your friend may have decided against going to holiday parties.You can encourage them to give another chance, but you should respect their decision.
Step 16: Ask your friend if they have any resources.
There is a spectrum of the neurological disorder.This means that there are many different types of the disorder.Learning about your friend's condition can help you better understand them.If your friend happens to do something that you don't consider in keeping with your relationship, the less you'll feel upset or insulted.Find out which organizations your friend likes and which books they recommend.Your friend will appreciate the fact that you're trying to understand something that they consider an important part of their identity.Ask your friend or someone close to them about their needs and preferences, as well as the obstacles they have overcome.People on the spectrum can't always communicate their needs.Offer to accompany your friend to events at organizations that cater to the needs of people with special needs.Many people with the condition have gone through abusive therapy, been dehumanized in the media, or have been reduced to a burden and list of symptoms.It's important to let your friend know that you love them and care about them.Just as you would any other friend, treat them with kindness and compassion.