You should get married to someone your mother doesn't like.
Do you know if your mother approves of your choice of husband or wife?It can be difficult to marry someone you don't like, but sometimes you have to make tough decisions on your own.It's time for your mother to realize that this point is not negotiable now that you are an adult.It can be more than anything else you've ever experienced.
Step 1: Tell your mom that you really love this person and that she can't change it.
She knows that you made a decision, no matter what she thinks.Tell her that this is about the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with.
Step 2: Tell your mom that you love her.
She wants to know that your life-mate is not a rejection of her.You disagree after she stated her case.You still love your mom for herself.Her ideas about your love life are different, but that doesn't diminish the love you have for her.
Step 3: Keep calm.
Don't make a scene for any reason, this will give your mom a reason to come back at you and turn it into something ugly.Your mom may make a case that you're immature and not thinking things through enough.Blowing up at her will show her point.Keep telling your mom that this is how things are going to be, and when she is ready to accept it, you will be happy.She will be able to stop and think about what is really at stake here, not hers, if you make it an issue of your personal happiness.
Step 4: Tell your mom that you're an adult now and that she taught you to think for yourself.
Step 5: Your mom probably has the best intentions.
It is possible that there is something she sees in you that sets off alarm bells for her.While her experiences are not yours, it is possible to at least consider whether any of her points are valid and address them with your partner.If your mom thinks that your betrothed is after your money, have an open discussion with your partner as to how you will respond.If you want to see your mom as a societal mirror, answer the questions she has posed to your satisfaction, and then think of ways to respond to anyone who raises the same curious or unnerving issues.
Step 6: Get together for a chat.
It might be useful to have a meeting with your mom.Let your mother ask her questions.Let your partner answer.Carefully weigh it.Even if you end up with the same feelings and plans, you would be wise to consider your mom's opinion.Your mom will feel like she got a fair hearing.
Step 7: It is going to take time for your mom to come around.
More than that, an issue of pride and/or disappointment has to be overcome - her son or daughter is doing something that she thinks is breaking her heart, so you'll need to stand in her shoes for a while to understand the extent of her pain.The virtue of patience will get you through this time.
Step 8: You can find supporters from the rest of your family.
Don't make divisions.Let people know that you appreciate their support for your wedding.It's their choice to react as they see fit, but seeing their support for you and your future spouse will help your mother to think through her concerns more objectively.It may be helpful to have someone your mom trusts talk to her about the marriage.The opposite side of her objections could be pointed out in a way that was less emotional than between you and your mom.
Step 9: Stand by your decisions.
Let your mother know that you're going to get married.When your mind is completely made up, make the announcement and keep it positive.Tell your mother that you are going to make a statement.You must take a firm, hard stand if there is any more resistance.Try to be as mild as possible, but let your mom know that the time for disagreeing is over.Tell your mom calmly and kindly, "I understand your concerns, you've made them crystal clear."I haven't changed my opinion after hearing you out.We're getting married.I would like your blessing, but I am not asking for it.I hope you can give it.You should announce your engagement at the appointed time.Mom will probably take your warning to her heart.If mom keeps her mouth shut, be nice.It's all about getting along.
Step 10: Stay positive and keep your partner informed.
It is your mother's choice to respond in this way.Your partner should be aware of how you are dealing with it and what it means for the day of the wedding.Your future spouse needs to know that you don't agree with her point of view and that he or she comes first.Let your partner know that you still care for your mom and hope it works out for the best.Both of you know that there is an intention to keep working on your relationship with your mom for the sake of everyone.