Even though you love a guy, you may reach a point when you realize that things won't work out.It can happen with relationships that never came to be.There are a few things you can do to let him go and move on, regardless of how things went down.
Step 1: Do you want to hang on?
If you haven't been able to let him go yet, you are subconsciously hanging onto him.Do you know what it is that you can't let go of?The person is not the only one who represents a relationship, a feeling of love, and so on.
Step 2: Accept the defeat.
You should tell yourself that things are over.Maybe you had a committed relationship with him, or maybe you never did.You probably realize that the hopes you had for him are gone now.You have to be honest with yourself before you can move on.When the things you want don't come true, you'll be more unhappy.
Step 3: Grieve.
There is no shame in crying.Something sad has happened in your life.You will go through periods of grief and anger when you have experienced a loss.Don't try to ignore your feelings.The end of a relationship can lead to standard stages of grief.You might feel hurt and guilt when you deny what happened.After that, the anger will come, followed by a stage of bargaining in which you might tell yourself that you could change for him.Depression and loneliness are included in the last stage.You will reach a place of acceptance after you make it through the grief.It is only by working through the natural stages that you can reach that state of acceptance.
Step 4: The good and bad should be remembered.
Some people want to forget about the good.Others will only remember the bad.Fixating on one side will affect your memory.The good and bad parts will keep your thoughts and feelings balanced.Approximately 20 percent of people complicate their grief by longing after romanticized memories.You can keep the guy you lost on a pedestal and remember your interactions with him as positive.You don't have to condemn him, but you do need to accept that he was a human and that the relationship had its issues.
Step 5: The blame game needs to be stopped.
Don't blame him or yourself for the things that went wrong.Most of what went wrong could have been out of your control if you hadn't shared the guilt.Even if you force an apology out of him for the things he did, the pain will still be there, so there isn't much purpose in continuing that course.Negative thoughts should be rephrased into neutral ones.Instead of saying "I wanted this from the relationship but he never gave it to me", tell yourself, "Our goals were not compatible."
Step 6: Take a break.
Cut off all ties with a guy is one of the easiest parts of letting him go.Remove his phone number from your phone.You should stop cyberstalking him.You need to remove all traces of him from your home.It might be difficult to take a break if you have to see the guy a lot.Keep your interactions professional in these cases.When you don't have a work related reason to go looking for him, you should not socialize with him during breaks.
Step 7: It is possible to find love inside of you.
Your focus has been solely on an outside source of love because you have been craving his love.You can find the loving spirit inside of you and apply it to yourself.Learning to love yourself again is simpler than that.It's important to remember that loving yourself will make it easier for a future romantic interest to fall in love with you.
Step 8: Accept that there are things you can't control.
Many of the reasons that things came to an end were out of your control, even if you did wrong with him.His feelings and external influences are included.You don't have control over how another person feels or treats you.You can't control what happens to that person.Most of the stress caused by outside factors, like financial troubles, will be out of your control.
Step 9: Let go of your regrets.
When you face a situation like this, it's natural to have regrets.If you want to acknowledge your regrets and let them out into the world, tell them to a close friend.You can write out your complaints and regrets.Either type it all out on your computer or keep a journal for that purpose.You can destroy the journal if you fill it with what you've written out.The act of doing so can be therapeutic.Even if the two of you are still friends and he says that he's okay with it, don't share your regrets with him.It will be difficult to let him go if you share your regrets with him.
Step 10: It's time to forgive yourself.
Part of you might still feel guilt over the way things ended even if you've acknowledged the parts that were out of your control.If that is the case, you need to forgive yourself for any role you played in letting things go sour.Don't beat yourself up over your mistakes.All humans agree that you're only a human.You should be able to forgive yourself if you can forgive others.
Step 11: Take a moment to connect with who you were.
You stop doing things you enjoy when you focus on a relationship or another person.If you want to shift your focus away from the guy in question, you should return to old hobbies and interests you had before he came along.Try new hobbies at the same time.Try something completely different, or try an old interest that you have never acted on before.You can change yourself into a new, improved you by connecting to who you were before.
Step 12: Talk to someone else.
You can find a reliable friend or relative to talk to during this time.It can be easier to love yourself when you are reminded of the friendship or family love that others have for you.Once you get past the initial grief of your loss, it might be a good idea to ask your friends to stop you.It can help ease the burden on them, but it can also help prevent you from dwelling on your feelings.You can talk to a counselor if you don't have a friend or relative.
Step 13: It's time to refresh your entire being.
You are most likely focused on yourself right now.As a physical, mental, and spiritual being, you need to take care of yourself.It will be easier to achieve emotional well-being if you address each aspect of your being.The good things going on in your current situation are what you should focus on.It can include loving friends and family, a fulfilling career, or anything else that makes you happy.If you have one, take care of your spiritual self by praying, meditating or involving yourself further in your faith.Keeping your brain busy will improve your mental health.You can learn new things and engage in new experiences.It is important that you have good physical health.If you balance out your comfort food cravings with exercise and physical activity, you can indulge yourself with the occasional tub of ice cream, but it's far better for your overall well-being.
Step 14: There's no such thing as lost time.
It wasn't a waste of time if you spent 1 year or 20 years with this guy.You learned and grew as a person.Your life may not be where you want it to be right now, but that doesn't mean that the experiences you did have were useless.While your love life was stagnant, focus on the areas of your life that have experienced growth.Friends, family, career progress, and increased interest in your hobbies are all possibilities.Any forward motion is positive no matter how small.
Step 15: Take a moment to reflect on the experience.
Take the positives and negatives from that time and apply them to your life today and in the future.Learning from past mistakes will make you a stronger person, even if you want to put the whole mess behind you.
Step 16: Do you know what your priorities are?
Which things are important to you and what do you really want out of life?It will be easier for you to focus on something other than the guy you lost.While love can still be a priority, focus on the opportunities to love that are still in front of you in the form of friends and family.You can hope for romantic love, but focus on other things.
Step 17: Don't be afraid and consider the possibilities.
When your plans for the future have suddenly changed, it can be frightening.Think about all the possibilities it might hold for you instead of looking at the unknown with fear.Fear causes you to cling to things that are familiar, even if they are hurting you in the present.You can improve yourself by considering the possibilities.The excitement of making a fresh start can help ease the pain of an ending.
Step 18: Have faith in the future.
It's easy to think that you won't fall in love again after letting go of a guy.It can be a self-fulfilling prophecy if you tell yourself that too often.If you don't want to make the pursuit of love a priority, tell yourself that you will have other chances in the future.If you want your future relationships to thrive, you need to let go of the old and embrace the new.Understanding that your future happiness in love depends on you letting go of this guy can help you move on.You don't have to feel pain from your break up to shape your future.It's tempting to be cynical about your future relationships, but that won't make you happier.Stay open to love in the future.
Step 19: Before the next guy arrives, imagine him.
In your imagination, cook up an ideal man.If you give him all the positive attributes the last guy lacked, you will believe that he is waiting to be found.It can be easier to let go of your past if you tell yourself that someone is waiting for you.Imagine a guy who can give you what you didn't get from the guy you lost, and create a more positive relationship with that guy.It's possible to be a little realistic about it.Imagine a guy with no flaws, but expect to meet him.A healthy relationship with a guy who doesn't have any "deal breaker" qualities would be impossible.
Step 20: You should be realistic about your expectations.
It's not very likely that you'll get together with the guy you lost.Falling in love with another guy won't solve all of your problems.It will take time for your pain to disappear.You can have realistic expectations about what's to come if you acknowledge the unpleasant truths about the future.To avoid future disappointment, be optimistic and realistic at the same time.