There are many forms of intimate partner violence.Abusers can use physical, sexual, emotional, and/or psychological abuse to maintain power and control over their victims.It can be difficult to get out of an abusive situation.Abusers often use psychological tactics to keep their partners in relationships with them, and may become violent when their victims end their relationships.If you need immediate help, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline or your local emergency services.
Step 1: Don't go to places that are dangerous in the home.
If you're in a threatening situation, stay out of places where you could be trapped.There are rooms where you might not be able to leave.If you can, look for a room with a door or window.You will be able to leave if the situation gets worse.It's a good idea to avoid rooms like the kitchen.Abusers can use knives in the kitchen.It's possible to find a room that locks from the inside.Don't let your abuser in.
Step 2: If necessary, give the abuser what he wants.
If you are in a dangerous situation, give the abuser what he wants.You have a right to stay safe.There is no reason to be ashamed or wrong for doing what is necessary to keep you safe.
Step 3: You need to get a phone.
Don't forget to keep your cellphone with you at all times.If you don't have a cellphone, you can call for help by getting to a room with a phone.You don't have to pay to call the emergency services in the United States.
Step 4: You can call the emergency services.
You can call the police if you are in a safe place.You need someone to come to the house if you tell the dispatch that you are in danger.If you can leave the house, you should tell the dispatch where you are going and how to contact you.
Step 5: If you can, get out of the house.
It could take some time for the police to respond to your call.Go to a neighbor's house to be safe.Let the emergency services dispatch know where you are going so they can find you.
Step 6: The police should be given as much detail as possible.
Tell the police everything you know about what happened.You should show them any injuries or property destruction that occurred.You need to get the officers' names and badges.If you were hurt, seek medical attention.You should get a copy of the police report and your case number.Take photos of any injuries or property destruction.Obtain statements from witnesses.
Step 7: There is a safe shelter.
The police have an obligation to make an arrest for domestic violence incidents.They are not able to make an arrest in some cases.You have to find a safe place to stay.It is possible to find safe shelters in your area through domestic violence hotlines.If you were injured, the shelter may be able to help.You don't have to give personal information to shelters.Give a false name if it helps you feel safer.
Step 8: It's a good idea to get a secure phone.
Abusers can watch your phone use.An abusive partner can install an app on your phone that can track your calls, or he can use the gps feature to track where you are.Consider getting a phone that your partner doesn't know about.Some domestic violence shelters give survivors of domestic abuse free cell phones.Contact an agency in your area if you want to learn more about domestic violence.When calling friends or family, use your secret phone, collect, or use a phone card.The numbers you call will show up on your phone bill if you don't change your mind.
Step 9: Use computers and mobile devices with care.
It is possible that your internet access is monitored.If possible, use computers at a public library or a trusted friend's house.Your abuser could read your emails and social media activity if they have your login information.Passwords and usernames need to be changed for all your online accounts.If you want to discuss your safety, create a new email account.Some women's shelters and domestic abuse organizations may have computers for you to use.
Step 10: There is a list of emergency contacts.
If you need assistance, ask several people you trust if you can contact them.Remember the phone numbers and addresses of people who are willing to help you, such as your local women's shelter.If you've purchased a secret cellphone, put your contacts in its memory.Your nation's domestic abuse hotline should be on your list.The number in the United States is SAFE.There is a number in the United Kingdom.You can call in Canada.There is a directory of domestic abuse hotlines.Contact information for local women's shelters, police departments, and trusted friends and family members can be found here.You can give someone a copy of the list.Even if you have to leave your home at a moment's notice, you will have it.
Step 11: A safety plan is needed.
You can download a PDF form from the National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence.The form should be printed on a public computer.If you are in danger, give a copy to a trusted friend.
Step 12: When you notice your partner's behavior is getting out of hand, look for safe areas of the house.
The areas should be large and open and have an exit.Since knives can be used as weapons, and since they are usually small and enclosed, avoid the kitchen and the bathroom.
Step 13: When faced with a violent situation, develop a plan for getting to a safe area in the home.
Share your plan with your children.It is important that family members follow the same plan in an emergency so no one is left behind.Help your children understand when to start the plan by writing a code word.You can call for help without making it obvious to your partner if you share the code word with friends and family.Your car should be unlocked and filled with gas.You can make a fast escape by hiding a spare car key outside.
Step 14: An escape bag is a must have.
There should be cash, clothes, supplies, copies of important papers in this bag.There is a list of important contacts.You can easily pick it up after you leave if you keep it at a trusted friend or family member's home.You should keep the information sheets in your emergency bag if you take prescription medication.If you can't leave your pet at the shelter, you may want to leave some food for them at a trusted person's house.
Step 15: You can open a bank account in your own name.
Abusers maintain their control of their victims through finances.You can open a bank account with your name on it.You should keep a card in your bag.
Step 16: Contact the police, an attorney, or legal aid if you have questions about your children.
If your children are minor, you can be accused of kidnapping if you take them with you when you escape.If you want to keep yourself and your children safe without putting yourself at risk of prosecution, get some legal advice.You can get free or low-cost legal help from domestic violence agencies.
Step 17: Don't disturb the devices.
Abusers use a variety of methods to monitor their victims' lives.Don't destroy or disturb them if you discover anything like this.If you're aware of your abuser's actions, you could be put in danger.When you find these devices, take a photo or other record of them.You will be able to prove abuse in court.
Step 18: Seek a protection order.
These orders are known as "orders of protection" or "restraining orders".You can get one at your local court.You can apply for one from many domestic violence agencies.In many cases, free or low-cost legal aid is available to help you.It's a good idea to bring a statement describing your situation.Photographs, police reports, and other evidence of your abuse should be brought.You should make sure that the order says you have custody of the children.Carry a copy of the order with you at all times.If your abuser tries to intimidate you, this will help the police enforce it.Copies of the order should be given to employers, your child's principal, and others.
Step 19: You should protect your contact information.
Changing your phone number will protect you from harassment.It's a good idea to get an unlisted, blocked number so that it can't be found easily.If you screen call with caller ID, you can request that your phone numbers aren't listed in directories.Some states offer confidential mail forwarding services for domestic abuse victims.A post office box can be used to keep your street address private.If you have to, you can forward your mail to a friend.
Step 20: Credit card accounts should be closed.
It will help keep your abuser from running up huge bills in your name.New accounts can be opened at a different bank.
Step 21: Change your routine.
If you want to avoid shopping in the same locations, take different routes home from work.Don't go to places where your abuser might find you.If you can, don't travel alone.To make sure you get home safely, ask a trusted friend or family member to go shopping with you.Change the locks if you're staying in the house.
Step 22: Alert your employer and your children's school.
Your protection order should be given to trusted people at your workplace and your children's school.If your abuser shows up, you should provide a photo of him to the authorities.Domestic violence is seen as an HR issue by many employers.Employers may be able to help keep you safe at work.Make sure that your employer and your children's school know that you shouldn't give your address or phone number to anyone.If you feel unsafe, you can ask the security guard to walk you to your car.
Step 23: Tell your friends that you left an abusive home.
If he comes through the neighborhood looking for you, you should show your partner's pictures to your neighbors and the police.If you see suspicious vehicles or people at your home, ask your neighbors to call the police.