Teens are often on their phones.They just can't seem to live without their friends, whether they are texting or surfing the web.Setting boundaries for phone use is a good idea because texting too much can get teens into trouble.If you are honest about the reasons for your boundaries, allow your teen to set them with you, and enforce the boundaries you have set, you will likely see them adhere to your rules in a peaceful way.
Step 1: Discuss how to talk with your teen.
It's important to think about your plan before you approach your teen.Try to think of ways you can work together.Make sure you and any other primary caregivers are on the same page and agree to follow through consistently.Think about your emotional connection with your teen.If you need to grow in this area, you should engage in an activity that they choose.You can take your teen to a sporting event or dinner at their favorite restaurant.You can spend some time together if you do something that is fun for your teen.Make sure that you have your teen's attention and set a positive tone before you state your boundaries.
Step 2: Talk to them about texting.
It's a great way to connect with friends, get information, find humor, and pass the time.Reminder them that there are trade-offs to most things, and texting is no exception.You could mention the dangers of texting and driving.It's important to frame the conversation as a discussion and not a lecture because your teen may have some valuable insight to offer here too.It's important to point out that you want to hear their voice.They can honor the limits you set together if they understand and appreciate your perspective.It's important to have a comprehensive, well-planned conversation with your teenager about how dangerous their choices can be and how you can keep them safe.You could say, "I know this device is harmless, but it's responsible for taking many lives."I want to make you aware of the dangers of texting and driving.Take pictures of your teen texting while driving.6,000 teens die in car crashes every year, and texting while driving is one of the causes.Limit their text messages in your plan.If you let them know that you will be watching them, they won't get into an accident because of texting and driving.
Step 3: Texting is bad for your health.
It is true that texting can have a negative impact on their health, even if you think you are exaggerating.Teens don't get enough sleep because they text late into the night.This can have an impact on their grades, social activities, and appearance.If you want to make this point really hit home, talk about how the lack of sleep can affect your teen.Knowing your audience can make a huge difference in how effective this boundary is.If your child enjoys playing football, you might say "Not getting enough sleep because you're up all night texting might affect your performance."If your teen is concerned about their appearance, you might say that late-night texting can cause it.
Step 4: Discuss how texting in school can affect their future.
Most schools don't allow teens to bring cell phones into the classroom.Your teen's grades can fall if they are texting instead of paying attention.Texting can earn them marks on their permanent record.Explain to your teen that texting while in school can prevent them from getting into a good college.Your reputation with your teachers is important to your college applications.It's important that you don't use your phone at school.
Step 5: Your teen should be involved in the boundary-making process.
If your child feels like they are a part of making the rules, they may be more inclined to follow them.Your teen would like to know that their opinions are respected.They can be included in the decision-making process.Ask your teen what their boundaries are."Let's talk about some fair rules we can set to make sure you get to use your phone within reason."Even if they don't initially suggest the boundaries you consider necessary, getting the conversation going allows you to build respect with each other and may eventually lead to a mutual understanding
Step 6: Take the time to write down your proposed boundaries.
You can stay on track and get your point across if you come into the conversation prepared.Suggestions on how they can still do what they want while adhering to your rules should be Jot down the boundaries you would like your child to follow.The child will be better at following you if you show them that they aren't missing out on anything.If one of your rules is not to text during family dinners or outings, suggest that they do so right before and after the event.They won't feel like they're getting out the information they need to send if they have time to get their texting out of the way.If one of your rules is they have to put their phones away by a certain time each night, offer to let them use it later one night a week if they follow the rules for the rest of the days.
Step 7: Don't be vague about your rules.
To make sure your teen follows the rules, you need to state the specific actions you expect from them.When you go to enforce these rules, this helps.You may get into a power struggle with your teen if they aren't clear.It is important to avoid power struggles.Keep things light and friendly.Stay focused on your expectations and state the facts.You could say that the rules we agreed on are no texting after 9pm, during dinner, or during movie night.Let your child know that if the boundaries aren't working, you'll have to rethink them.
Step 8: The boundaries and rules should be set in a contract.
There is something about contracts that makes them seem more official.Having your child sign a contract may make the boundaries more concrete.Allow the teen to have special privileges each week or month.If your child can see the contract on a daily basis, you should post it on the fridge.
Step 9: It is a good idea to check your teen's text log occasionally.
Look at your child's text log to see the types of texts your teen is setting.Your teen may have deleted incriminating texts, so this method isn't perfect.You are going to stay on top of the situation by checking in periodically if you do this, as it shows them that you are an active part of helping them learn to navigate healthy text habits.Part of being a parent is making sure your child is safe even when they don't feel like that is what's going on.Stay involved in your child's life by checking their texts.It is important to keep an eye on what is happening at school and in their social circles while respecting their privacy.If you can, know who their friends are.Being an active part of your child's life can stop them from getting into trouble, ensure they feel safe coming to you when they need help, and build a rewarding relationship for the both of you.If your teen is receptive to the boundaries you've set, you may decide to decrease how often you do this over time.
Step 10: Follow through on consequences.
Children need to know there are consequences if they break the rules.It's a good idea to let your teen know what consequences will be if they break your rules.You have to make sure you carry them through.If your child sees that you are talking and not doing anything, they will break the rules because they know they can get away with it.Losing cellphone privileges completely for a period of time is a reasonable consequence.There is no phone privileges for two days.Privileges that require safe decision-making and trust are lost between 6pm and 8pm.
Step 11: Text-monitoring devices can be installed into your teen's car.
Some newer vehicles, like the 2016 Chevy Malibu, come with technology that allows you to monitor your teen's phone use while driving.If your teen doesn't drive a newer vehicle, you can purchase programs that are installed into the car that allow you to keep tabs on what is happening while your child is behind the wheel.You may want to consider investing in these types of programs if this is one of your boundaries.This is a more restrictive strategy that could cause resentment because your teen will feel like you don't trust them.If their behavior is causing serious safety concerns, then you should only do this.